Every time I hear some story about how some dude spent like “two years” chasing after a girl since high school or something, I can’t help but feel sorry for him.
I also heard of stories where the girl waits for him for a long time while not exactly knowing what he’s up to.
That’s all real by the way. I hear stories like that all the time.
Basically, both guy and girl are spending an ungodly amount of time and energy on somebody they barely know.
And that to me is sad. Very sad.
Why? Because you’re making romance hard. And romance isn’t supposed to be hard.
Romance in a relationship can be like a fairy tale, if you play it right.
I know it sounds romantic, like, “Wow! He must really love her. He waited for her hand and foot for years!”, but really, it isn’t.
Think about it this way: For however long you spend chasing someone, you’re going to spend an equal amount of time, if not more worrying if he or she will leave.
For how much energy you put in to chase that person, you’re going to spend the same amount of energy stressing yourself out if they will leave.
It’s only logical.
Romance isn’t supposed to be hard. It’s supposed to be natural, or dare I say it, magical.
This is when the chemistry is just right. It’s perfect, as you’d like to call it as you feel it on the spot. The conversations will flow, like as if you’re talking to a friend.
You both text each other everyday like clockwork, not worrying if you’re actually bothering each other.
You both get to say anything you want without having to worry about offending each other.
And it’s fast. It will happen fucking fast.
That is when you truly know time flies when you’re having a good time.
After that, when people ask how you two got together, the only thing you can answer is, “I don’t know! It just happened!” as you beam with pride.
That is how romance should work. That is how the start should be.
You let it flow, and have some fucking fun so you can be happy. You DO realize you’re allowed to have fun in life right?
It honestly, irks me and even tears my heart a little inside when I see a friend struggle so hard just win the attention of some chick who doesn’t give a shit about him. It’s a losing battle, but they try so hard anyway because they think it’s the way it should work.
Romance isn’t about hardship. You leave that to the relationship segment wherein time, effort and growing up come into play. And you know what? Even then, you ought to ask yourself if you’re busting your balls too hard for something that should have been easy in the first place.
There’s nothing wrong with easy. Easy means flow, chemistry and being natural. Easy means feeling everything is okay.
Why the hell wouldn’t you want any of that?
Why would you intentionally want pain and hardship?
Why would try so hard to chase something?
Do you really want to be with somebody where you have to worry if a single text needs to be specifically constructed so as to not offend them? I remember being with a girl like that once. Looking back, it was so stupid. She’d take offense at something ordinary and explode for nothing.
Chasing rarely ever works.
So stop with the hardship. Don’t make it hard for yourself.
Just chill. Be the fuck alone and be happy.
Work on yourself. Sooner or later you’ll attract the right person and it’ll be all too easy.