July 27 2011

Why being a Douchebag is actually kind of awesome

Definition of a Douchebag:

Douche bag, or simply douche, is considered to be a pejorative term. The slang usage of the term originated in the 1960s.The term usually refers to a person, usually male, with a variety of negative qualities, specifically arrogance and engaging in obnoxious and/or irritating actions, most often without malicious intent.                                                                                                                                                             -Wikipedia

Or…

A faggot with a red face and wannabee gangster tendencies. Also sometimes asian and wangster like.     

- One of the many condescending definitions in Urbandictionary.com

A Douchebag, while used as a general insult towards anyone is actually more or less fixed in its characteristics and definition. Popularized today by popular reality TV series, Jersey Shore, the Douchebag is well, generally looked down upon and laughed at what with all his douchey-ness and extravagant lifestyle. Check it out:

Common characteristics of a douchebag

- Orange skin from suntanning a lot, both indoor tanning and outdoor tanning included

- Heavily gel-ed and spiked hair

- Wears tight-fitting clothes, mostly Ed Hardy

- Puts on a lot of blings i.e. shiny jewellery

- Hobbies include going to the gym, suntanning and partying

- Likes to shout, “Bro!” and high five over anything cool

Here’s a picture to capture everything perfectly

How to build a Guido/Douchebag

Of course with such a definition and look, who would want to be a douchebag or actually respect a douchebag? You got to be out of your mind right?

Wrong. I would like to argue that being a Douchebag is actually kind of cool and there are several reasons why you ought to respect him.

He’s beefed up

Sure it’s easy to think that he’s kind of lame because all he cares about is going to the gym, pumping iron and drinking protein shakes. He just ends up looking like one of those stupid-looking beefcakes who are all muscle, has a small head containing minimal brain.

However, in case you forgot, it takes real discipline and determination to keep up with a fitness regime and attain a good body. The willpower to stave off fatty food and other crap is something admirable too.

Maybe the douchebag looks stupid, but you can’t deny the amount of strength he has. Make fun of him all you like, but don’t blame anybody if you get bashed in the face.

Chicks, girls, ladies

The Douchebag gets all the girls. Face it, girls prefer a dude with a nice body compared to a skinny twig. Hell girls generally prefer guys who are just somehow that more interesting and hence worth a second look. Also, he has the balls to APPROACH the girl and talk to her. Like 90% of the male population lack balls to do that.

Can you really say it’s lame to get the girls? If you answered yes, you must be gay or just deeply insecure because you just don’t dare to do something for yourself.

From hotchickswithdouchebags.com and yes, that’s a real website

Confidence and swagger

Say whatever you want, but the Douchebag has admirable and unstoppable confidence. Afterall, they have the ladies and the body. The very fact that they choose not to care what the hell anyone else thinks about them is already an awesome trait in its own right. He wears stupid clothes, exaggerate the crap he wears, talks about himself, or girls most of the time, but does he give a fuck? No.

It takes real confidence to be yourself and filter out the crap and noise others are giving you.

Can you really say you don’t care what others think about you? Do you hesitate and doubt the (little) things you do because you are afraid of what others think of you? Think about it. While you are making fun of others, do a little self-evaluation and check back on what you are perhaps lacking.

Attention and all the love

The Douchebag gets all the attention. That’s that. Maybe he’s hated by some, but he’s STILL getting the attention! That’s better than being low-life who nobody really gives a shit about. Imagine this: The Douchebag gets promoted at work simply because he’s loud and gets the boss’s attention. You? You got nothing because nobody knows or cares about you.

Just check out Jersey Shore. You laugh at the Douchebags inside, but they are making a fuckload of money now, as well as enjoying a bunch of perks. The funny part is you are probably watching and enjoying the show. That’s fucking ironic and messed up.

YEAH BUDDY

They dare to try new shit out

Even if they do it actively without thinking, guess what? They are always willing to try new shit out that most others would disagree with, like taking up quick money-making schemes that actually work. They just don’t give a fuck about what others think, man up and do what they love.

If you read that carefully, it means they actually dare to BE themselves! Who’s to say that others dare or have achieved that?

Time to Bro the fuck up

Whoever you are, wherever you are, there’s certainly a Douchebag in your midst. He could be an asshole, a dickhead, a jerk, your boss, your brother or whatever the hell you call him, it’s just someone you think is seriously annoying.

So what is it about him you really hate?

I think I know what the answer is:

That douchebag certainly doesn’t give a crap about you or anything

Think about it.

If anything, he’s more focused than ever to achieve whatever he wants in life. He gets to enjoy life just by being himself. 









For you I give:

-Find out how to gain the confidence to do what you love.
-Learn how to talk to others and be yourself.
-A free list of things you can tell yourself, to be yourself!

Sign up now. And I’m pretty sure you’d be a changed man.

What do you think of douchebags? Let me know in the comments.

7 Comments

Leave a Comment

  • Reply

    Caio

    5 months ago

    i wondered if i was a douchebag since i learned what this word meant.. (im brazilian, and we dont have a word for that in portuguese.) i dnt have problems with girls, if fact most of them just make it easy for me, so sometimes i dont even feel like going on all of them… really, and im not gay. is just that when something gets easy, you just dont value it. by now there are like 5 or 4 girls that i can get whenever i want…. and im not saying thats great stuff, cuz every man will have at least one on its life, no matter who is he. numbers are not important, just how much you care for it.
    i have a lot of willpower and a big ego, but i dont go all day talking about me.. i dont really care about what people will think, i am satisfied with myself.
    i could stay longer talking about me.. like, really longer, that would be so massive, i am trying to live in a different way, but its not that good… really, i’ve been trying for like 3 months.. and i dont know if its worthy

  • Reply

    TakSlak

    5 months ago

    I like to debate a lot of things, but douchbaggery was one of those things I thought was not debatable, so well done on proving me wrong

    • Reply

      alden

      5 months ago

      Lol so what are your thoughts on being a douchebag now?

    • Reply

      Elsie

      2 months ago

      this.

Trackbacks for this post

  1. How to make a douchebag: Make him wear stupid blazers to keep warm | Alden Tan
  2. The difference between an asshole and a douchebag | Alden Tan

Leave a Comment