Alden-tan.com

When somebody calls you out on your anger

As of right now, I’ve a coach, a business coach to be specific. But he had, from time to time slide over to being a motivational coach. He has been with me for three months now.

I paid him for three thousand dollars. Initially, the only goal was to make money from this blog.

After a month, results were not there at all. I was worried. I got anxious. Eventually, I got really pissed off.

I then emailed him long ass email about how I felt he wasn’t delivering and that his promises were not coming through. I even dared to ask for a refund. My tone in the email was definitely beyond passive aggressive.

His reply to me hit me hard. He showed no mercy.

He started off by saying, “You’re not angry at me. You’re angry at yourself. You’re angry because you have just broken up and you spent a sum to go to Korea.”

And he was right.

I had then just ended my relationship with someone whom I thought would be with me forever, but she disappeared instead. To clear my head, I went to Korea with my best friend. I bought the ticket on impulse, so much so I felt the pinch from putting a dent my bank account.

He continued, “I can feel an extremely aggressive form of energy coming from you all the time Alden. I can feel your anger. You’re my only client, I repeat, my ONLY client who talks to me like that.”

He’s probably right. I’ve anger issues. It’s never really been dealt with properly in my entire life. I’m also impatient as hell.

“I know I said I’d help get you results in the first month, but I didn’t say anything about guarantees. The only guarantee in life is death”

was one of the other outstanding lines that got to me in his reply.

My insecurities with money and writing has made me really impatient. I’ve been doing this for almost four fucking years and despite all the progress I’ve made, I wish I could be better. The most aggravating part is that I know I can get there, but unknown forces are in the way.

“You’re not going to get the results you want with your current mindset. Your thoughts are your reality, and your mindset is broke. You’ve a lack of appreciation for money.”

Indeed. I was always so stressed. I base my happiness and self-esteem on the size of my bank account.

“You’re not a writer. You’re not an internet marketer. You’re fucking Alden Tan.

Who is the Alden Tan you want to be in three years? Act like him and stop bitching about how stressed you are. This business takes balls of steel.”

The above honestly struck home with me. I’ve always tried to label myself with a bunch of identities. We all do, but when do we stick to our very names and realize how cool that is on its own?

And yeah, I need to stop being a little bitch.

There you have it. My angry email which I thought contained legitimate concerns, only to have all my negativity and anger called out.

It was a very profound and special moment for me, one I know I will remember forever precisely because no one else in my life has given me such support, not even from my family or close friends.

Yes, the four thousand is worth it. Besides all this mindset thingys, we’re working on a bunch of other cool stuff.

You can’t produce the life you want when your insides contradict your life 

It’s true.

I know this sounds cheesy, but your thoughts are your reality. What you think is what you feel and what you feel is what you perceive everything around you.

I don’t mean it in a law-of-attraction kind of way, but more so on the idea that well, if you feel like shit, then life is shit. If you feel angry, then everything around you is going to piss you off. If you’re sad and depressed, then nothing will perk up your day.

If you have a dream, you have to act like you actually deserve it. That means fucking believing that it will happen for you; that you don’t have to go through literal hell just to get it. I went out I got one once this year already and it wasn’t even that hard.

The work you do means jack all if you don’t believe in it and yourself

Working hard is overrated. It’s subjective at best. Working hard is all good, but it is a grind if you let it be.

That is why going on a break is necessary. This is where you go back to your WHY and remember everything.

Sure, you’ll probably make progress, but it’s going to be a drag. That is why people work hard, but leave their dreams on the shelf. That is why people settle for a mediocre life. They take the drag and think that’s enough.

That is why work is sensitive.

Treat it with care, by treating yourself well first. Everything doesn’t have to be a drag.

When you have it better than others

As panicky as I was when I angrily emailed him, I kind of forgotten how lucky I am in this life. I got a bed, house, many friends, a loving mom and shit.

I’ve also made tons of progress since I started. I’m in a good place, but my impatience made me forget all of that.

The coach also mentioned to me how he has clients who are struggling with trying to support a family but got his services anyway.

Sometimes, you just forget. You just forget how easy you have it.

But you decide to bitch about it anyway for whatever god-given reason you think justifies your need to be a bitch.

That is why an intervention is in order for our life. We all need an intervention from time to time.

This is where you ask yourself the terrifying, but honest questions. 100% honesty. No half-hearted truths allowed at all.

The question is whether you dare to or not. The bigger question is, whether you dare to continue to face an unknown future on your own and take that first step to it.

Intervene yourself already. You don’t have to be called out like I was.

Right now, I’m working very hard on myself and doing things that benefit my mind greatly. I’ve a lot of people around me who are concerned about my recent breakup. To that I say, “So fucking what?”

It really doesn’t matter anymore, because I give it no power. Plus, I choose to focus on other positive shit, like dating other girls.

Call life out now. Give yourself the chance.

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2 comments

  1. Jonah - June 17, 2015 6:29 pm

    jiayou alden!

    Reply
  2. Letty - July 23, 2015 3:52 pm

    I love your blog, it read it every night keep it up.

    Reply

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