It was kind of like that…
A couple of weeks ago, my friend Cam, from Calgary, Canada paid me a visit right here in sunny Singapore with his girl.
On one of the afternoons during his short stay, I brought them to the beach.
There, we got a live viewing of some drama.
There were two pretty girls near our spot. Nearer to them sat this dude who kept eyeing them.
After a while, he made his move. He went over to talk to them. The girls seemed polite enough to entertain him as they smiled and made small talk. Then he left, obviously looking rejected.
The girls then proceeded to frolic in the water, take selfies, laugh, jump around and do whatever the fuck girls do at beaches.
Then this happened: The dude swam over to them. He was literally submerged for quite a distance. He was stealthily swimming over to them.
“Oh my god!” one of the girls exclaimed loudly.
By then, the lifeguard on duty even blew his whistle, a clarions call that said, “Hey man stop being a creep!” The dude surfaced like an out-of-place Walrus and awkwardly walked away.
By this time, Cam’s girl walked over to the girl and asked if they wanted their towel to cover up. She escorted them back to their spot.
(All this while, Cam and I were pretty useless males as we simply sat there and watched lol.)
The girls took their shit and changed to another spot far, far away.
Then this happened, and there is a plot twist: The dude started walking and made his way over to the girls’ general vicinity.
He had to pass us first.
Cam’s girl: Dude. Stop it! They’re not interested!
Pervert: Erm… what?
Cam’s girl: They’re not interested in you. You can’t do that. You can’t just go up to a girl like that.
Pervert: What? Sorry?
Cam: That’s not how you approach women dude, ok?
Cam: Why? Because I fucking said so.
Pervert: Erm… Chinese girls here, don’t like black skin?
Cam: It’s not about that dude. You’re doing it wrong. You are not supposed to go up to a girl like that. You can’t just swim up to them like that. It’s not cool.
Pervert: So… they don’t like, black skin? Don’t like?
Cam: …. Yeah they don’t.
Pervert: Okay. Thank you!
And he walked back the other way to join his friend.
There you have it. The pervert wasn’t exactly a pervert. He was just somebody extremely misguided. He was also a foreigner, probably from Bangladesh or Bangalore. Most commonly, a lot of them come here to work in Singapore for a better life. I won’t go into detail, but there is some form of general discrimination towards them here.
Our actions are dictated by societal norms, even if you’re blind to them
There was something so innocent, yet sad in the dude’s words. He had absolutely no idea what was going on.
He was trying his darndest to get to know an attractive female counterpart, but he did it wrongly. Yet, when it came in the open, he took it as an issue of race, culture and skin color, all of which he submissively gave in to. He tried though. He really tried despite English not being his first language.
Man, he wasn’t even intimidated by Cam at all solely because he didn’t even know he was supposed to be intimidated! (Haha Cam, you bad ass. I thought all Canadians were supposed to be super nice people!)
It’s kind of sad that people are subjected to societal rules and shit, people who actually have the balls to step out of their comfort zone and simply try.
But the blind go for what they want
The dude may have done it wrongly, but he did something that I know plenty of guys here would never dare to do, and that is to go talk to a girl. Instead, most guys I know are busy bitching and talking shit about the girls they actually want to get to know.
Hell man, even I have approach anxiety. I don’t like approaching strangers. I either need a wingman or I only talk to the girls I’m mutually introduced to.
Cam and I were talking about how we wished we had more time and the opportunity to explain to the dude what we really meant, rather than making him think that it was an issue of race. I know it sounds like we’re all talk now, but Cam is the kind of guy who’d step up to help guys all around and I know he would have for real.
So, dark-skinned, misunderstood dude, I salute you. But please learn man. We all have to, like it or not. Rules all around us may be a bitch, but what’s how life works.
That is when you need to make the rules your bitch instead. Starting with obliviousness is better than nothing. That is why ignorance is bliss. That is how the weird, the rule breaker and the downright crazy make all the difference, if anything in themselves first.
And hey, just keep trying I guess. Just don’t go overboard and get your ass kicked (by Cam), or get the cops called on you.