Hate of the week: “Alden, why are you so vulgar?”

Aight aight! Here’s the all-new feature, HATE OF THE WEEK.
This is where you’d be treated to the haters I get all the time. I’d expose to you the immaturity and ignorance they have towards me and my blog. With that, the mystery of why they’re still on my list remains a mystery.
So let’s proceed with this week’s HATE OF THE WEEK! 
I had a very interesting email from a reader last night.
So I ALWAYS get emails from readers asking me why I’m so vulgar. Why I’m so profane. Why I use expletives.
But last night’s one takes the cake.
It went like this, “your languge shows up the vulgarity that is you…nothing good can come from u”.
(Email was not edited for authenticity’s sake)
I laughed out loud reading this, not because of the bad language, but how ridiculous it is.
That’s right man,  NOTHING GOOD can come from me! Watch out! I’m a monster!
Haha. Okay. No more jokes. I didn’t write this post to turn it into a gossipy, bitchy one.
Let’s get serious.
Yes, I’m vulgar. I make use of profanities and expletives. Why am I like that?
It’s simply daring to be yourself.
Cliché eh? But the key idea here is that being yourself may take a lot of time and you’dalways go full circle in life to be yourself.
What do I mean? Take my blog for example:
I started the blog being really vulgar (way more than now). I toned it down because some coaches taught me I’d not be able to appeal to many people. So I toned it down… and guess what happened?
I didn’t feel good at all. I felt like I wasn’t being myself. And good friends of mine said I “sold out”. It really hurt me.
And if you try to appeal to everybody, you appeal to nobody. Trust me on this. In blogging, if you want to cultivate an audience, you got to laser focus your message for the group of people you only want.
Same with life, you got to make the active choice of being with people you want, people you care for and know will benefit you.
You do that by being yourself! Otherwise what are you? You become fake, compromising, patronizing, “weird”, a suck up etc.
People can see through that. And it’s not going to make you feel comfortable at all.
So what are the lessons here?
1) Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. If you aren’t yourself, you will go full circle anyway and go back to being yourself. And hopefully, you don’t make any regrettable mistakes along the way.
2) Don’t judge. Vulgar people can be nice people. Are you going to say that nothing good can come from people with tattoos because they look “vulgar”? Or people who prefer vulgar yet meaningful rap music?
3) It’s honestly better to be vulgar with good language, than not vulgar at all with bad grammar, typos and just not making sense. That said, worse things can be said even without vulgarity. Imagine how bad you sound like when you say stuff like how you hate black people even without the use of profanities.
Be yourself. You’re special. If you don’t feel special, then know that your true self within is just waiting to come out.
Want to know how to be yourself more? Get my book. 
For those still offended: You’re always welcome to unsubscribe. Anyone new to the list, you’ve been fairly warned.

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  1. Trevor - June 12, 2013 12:33 pm

    I can totally relate Alden. I’ve been called out on my use of profanity so many fucking times I can’t even count that high. It’s all good though. People keep reading.

    But I actually took the opposite track as you. When I first started I used way less vulgarity. I was trying to tone it down to appeal to more people. I never edited completely — that just wouldn’t be me — but I definitely held it back.

    As I’ve become more comfortable writing I’ve brought the profanity up to a level that’s comparable to how I talk in the company of good friends. THAT is real. THAT is who I am.

    People may not like the profanity . . . all the “shits” and the “fucks” that they read, but they’re still drawn to the authenticity. Because you’re talking to them as real people. Not acting like some fucking high and mighty guru talking down at them.

    Good stuff Alden.


    • alden - June 17, 2013 11:06 am

      Haha I used to SEO cuss words early on.

      Just be yourself for sure. Being authentic is the most important thing.

  2. Kevin Cole - June 13, 2013 2:46 pm

    Hey Alden,

    This is some real shit man. Thanks to Trevor and his “Wipe Your Ass With Mediocrity” post for bringing me here.

    A friend of mine was asked “Why do you cuss so much?”

    She replied: “I cuss to express my fucking points.” Love that shit.

    Profanity is weird in blog posts when it’s not who you are. It’s like when a little kid starts cussing for the first time. It’s weird and clunky.

    But when I (or you) use fuck to accentuate points it’s no biggie because it’s part of our vocabulary. At the end of the day there all just words.

    If we put a lot of weight on them then they’ll be heavy. It’s simple as that.

    • alden - June 17, 2013 11:05 am

      Hell yeah. Nice one. Adults swear, get over it I say.

  3. SJ Scott - June 17, 2013 9:54 pm


    You make some great points. It is essential to have a voice that is natural and “yours” and if that “voice” drops an F Bomb, so be it.

    But it is also important to not offend an audience if you are trying to market.

    Now I am not saying, “please everyone”. We all know that is not possible, and the surest way to fail.

    Ultimately it comes down to making a decision, and I don’t know if there is a right or wrong to sure or not.

    I love vulgarities backed by real wit, but not necessarily vulgarities for the sake of being “shocking”.

    In my real life, I certainly curse to frequently, but I made a conscious decision that on my blogs and eBooks I would keep it “PG-13” about the worst word I use frequently is “Bullshit”, Because really…nothing says BULLSHIT like that specific word.

    Anyhow, my point is not to condemn, (I will be checking out your blog again) just trying to give a counterpoint, that you don’t necessarily have to curse to have a “real voice”.

    **On a side note “I used to SEO cuss words early on”: That really made me laugh out loud. I am chuckling now thinking about it!


    • alden - June 17, 2013 10:57 pm

      Hey Scott thanks for dropping by.

      Haha yeah for real. The SEO thing was ridiculous.

      I know what you mean. I don’t think about it anymore. I just let it flow.

      • Trevor - June 18, 2013 12:18 am

        Speaking of SEO for curse words, Webmaster Tools lists “fucking” as my 13th top content keyword.

        What the fuck’s that say?

        Probably means google thinks my blog’s a porn site or some shit. Well whatever, so long as it brings in traffic.

  4. Fiona Tay - July 21, 2013 3:05 am

    2) Don’t judge. Vulgar people can be nice people. Are you going to say that nothing good can come from people with tattoos because they look “vulgar”? Or people who prefer vulgar yet meaningful rap music?

    That’s so so so right! I know a group of friends who speak foul languages but they’re so so so nice! They treat their friends like real family! So I really enjoyed being with them although my ears do sometimes get tired listening to those words. Hahaha! Keep up the good work, Alden! xoxo

    • alden - August 4, 2013 8:46 pm

      I know a bunch of smokers, tattooed friends, vulgar people etc and they’re like the nicest in the world.


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