The truth about assholes (A reader was harassing me)



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Here’s another powerful story about assholes and dealing with people who are making your life difficult.

The headline of this post can also be called “Why you should never feel pissed, sad or upset by people who try to get to you.”


Okay last year, this reader bought one of my books. It was $17. He bought it and after reading it, he emailed me like five times telling me how it was a very bad book. He said I was a bad writer.

He claimed that he was a psychologist and started ranting on how I was not a psychologist and that I shouldn’t be writing about it, not that I ever was.

He asked for a refund for the book because “the book isn’t even worth the paper its printed on”. Apparently to him, PDF files are “paper”.

A couple of days ago, he replied to one of my emails and started saying how my content was crap… again.

He went on and on about how I was a bad writer and that I was not a psychologist (again!) .

And yeah, I’d admit it. I was mad.

So I replied him and told him to fuck off. I even went all out and insulted him, called him names and all. It was dumb, but hey, I was just mad.

At one point he even said, “I have a BSc , MSc from Oxford and I am Irish. That is why I can fuck up people like you as Irish people are made of very tough stuff called Guinness.”

Oh boy. Bringing in race and all. Not cool… not cool.

The exchange of insults went on for a few emails. He was extremely contradicting, telling me about he’s a nice person who does volunteer work, he knows many high-profile psychologist which he’d be happy to introduce me to and how he has offended many people as he peddles psychology to them.

Now here’s the email. Eventually I asked him:

“So let me get this straight, you insult people from the start, because you think they don’t know anything about psychology, and you have been doing that all the while knowing that you’re offending others?

What is wrong with you?”

This was his reply, uncensored:

“Dear Alden,

Part of being human is part of being psychopathic. I have this streak in me that when I see an arrogant or bullshit (in my view only) writer , I have this great urge to pull them down a peg or two.

Yes I am well trained and highly educated. Yes and I am a Psychologist and well trained as well. Worked all over the world, trained everywhere. Don’t have any illusions about myself and I really do not care what others think because of my psychopathic streak and mindset.

I am good at what I do. However I constantly upset people , leave the job and move on to a more successful one. You see I have this knack of being ‘a really nice empathetic and charismatic approach’. That is I can turn it on and off when I wish. Being psychopathic I really do not care about anyone but myself. Conversely I have great friends who like me are also Psychopathic. We all go out and wind up people we don’t take a liking for.

Nothing personal – it is just a game to us. We help really deserving people to gain high self esteem, self worth, self love and an attitude of gratitude.

Life is one big wind up for us all. We get our due deserves in time. If you believe in religion you go up or down depending on your Sins!!!!!

As nothing in life is real anyway – (all atoms) the world will just dissolve any day soon. Made by man, built by bullshitting arrogant and weak leaders and blown up by man. We are great people we humans. We know what total destructions is all right.

Now you and I are just a speak on this over populated planet. Here today and gone tomorrow.

So why bother to do anything. Enjoy your life. I really do not care about anyone but myself. I have a wife and kids but they mean nothing to me either- handy at times – but a pain in the backside most of the time.

I am nothing, I do not care anywhere. Yes I am a professional but who really cares a fuck anyway – you don’t. Get over yourself.

A self Confessed Psychopathic –  (really a Psychologist and a really good one – because I do not give a shit)”

There you have it. So many great lessons here. I went through hell with an idiot just to bring you these.

1) Assholes are “psychopathic”

And if you ask me, it’s not normal.

Just as he admitted, bad people see a need to bring down those around him. God only knows why.

I think being passionate is great, but being psychopathic is not. That’s reeking of serious mental problems right there.

You’re normal. And that’s good. It means you see the good in people and don’t mean harm to those around you. Keep at it.

2) Bad people need validation

I’ve no idea how many times this dude has told me he’s a psychologist, he knows people, he has a degree in blah blah blah like I gave a shit.

I mean, if you were really proud of something and already know you’re good at it, you do not need to tell the whole damn world about it.

So just focus on your thing, be good at it, help others, and leave it as that. Otherwise, you’d come across as an arrogant bag of acts.

Plus, bad people need validation because they’re suffering. If you don’t want to suffer, again, focus on your own thing, do good and be happy. That’s all.

3) Psychos are plain selfish

Oh man, I really don’t know what to make of this dude. For someone to openly admit that he doesn’t care about his own wife and kids…

That’s… not cool man. Btw, this dude told me he’s 67 years old. 67! Even my little nieces and nephews are more mature… and not so evil.

There’s honestly ZERO reasons to feel offended when an asshole riles you up. They’re suffering deeply. You just don’t see it.

I mean, if someone pisses you off, then you find out he doesn’t even care about his own kids, would you really respect him enough to feel anger?

Know what I mean?

4) Assholes don’t make sense at all!

All those contradictions! It was just weird. Why waste your time with such people?

Note also that he could have been lying all along. You really don’t need to care about liars.

That’s all the great lessons we have today.

Hence, this is why people teach, “Ignore them”. It is indeed a waste of time.

Plus, if you go down that path, you may end up looking like them. I’m sure that’s not what you want. I mean, look at the email above. Do you want to become that?

Be awesome instead.

I’m not a psychologist. Neither am I a genius. But it doesn’t take any of that to have common sense.

Just be happy. Do good. Focus on your own shit. Ignore all the bad people. They never “win”. They’re only suffering and are well, pretty much crazy.

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  1. shirley - April 26, 2014 4:50 am

    You’ve done it again, Alden!
    You have such a knack of taking the shitty and turning it into a learning point. I admire you. (Your honesty about how you’re riled up in the above instance) Love your books.

  2. Veronica Daugherty - September 26, 2014 7:27 pm

    RE: “Worked all over the world, trained everywhere.”

    Truly intelligent well-educated people do not justify their qualifications with hyperbole. If he had one specific credible reference to cite, then he would have said, “I worked at Cambridge, Harvard, and the University of Melbourne,” not vaguely “all over.” Additionally, I would like to know how he managed to obtain omnipresent training… that’s amazing.

    • alden - October 13, 2014 6:20 pm

      Good point!

  3. Sebatian Aiden Daniels - September 26, 2014 10:08 pm

    Thank you for sharing this with me. Oh my god, what a lunatic. This guy sounds like he is off his rocker. I’m sure a few days before sending that he probably thought he was the second coming of Christ.

    The craziness was quite amusing. The thing with psychopaths is that it eventually comes out in some way or another.

    I love how he consistently claims he is a psychologist. I am actually developing a stand up bit about how psychologists have to be really crazy in order to be psychologists. We are all crazy to someone, but psychologists ooh man. I might have to somehow include this in there somehow.

    He is 67 and probably quite lonely since psychopaths tend to burn most bridges and can’t maintain long term healthy relationships from what I have read, but I’m not a psychologist so don’t take my word for any of this. I don’t have training or a fancy degree from Oxford. I’m sure his great psychopathic friends will be there for him in times of need.

    Internet trolls for the win.


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