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I just received an email from a reader about how he has done all “right” things, that he has always followed the straight and correct path in life.
He studied hard to become a doctor.
He followed what his parents said.
He’s got a job and all that.
But he isn’t happy. “Something is missing” he says.
I can totally relate as I’ve written extensively about it before. Spoiler: I always did everything that was right to avoid trouble and harming others. It only made me angry and then my dad died.
Indeed. Doing what is “right” may not exactly be the right thing for you to do.
Here’s what to do instead.
The expectations of others are never right for you
Because they aren’t yours. It’s as simple as that.
The danger comes when you’re doing way too much of it. You’re probably trying to make your parents happy, fit in with your friends or do whatever school has taught you.
So quell it. Meeting the expectations of others will never bring happiness, not even if you exceed them.
Yet, do what you have to do to survive. Don’t disobey your parents and create unhappiness in the family. Don’t be a stranger to people. Don’t be intentionally rebellious all the time.
Getting passion is key
Now, if you want to fit in the missing puzzle, all there is is passion.
Passion lights your fire and makes sense of everything in this world, your world, because, when you’re feeling excited, feeling happiness and experiencing joy, what more do you need in life? Think about it.
Nobody ever wishes that they had spent more time at work on their deathbed. Neither do they reminisce about the amount of money they have in their bank accounts.
I’m willing to bet anyone on their deathbed is only looking back on their life and wondering where the time went. The only question is, if you’re constantly asking, “What if?” or not.
Keep your conscience clear all the time
Yet, all this talk on following your passion, doing what you love and living your life mostly forgoes the question of doing what is considered right too. It doesn’t make sense to follow your heart in selfish ways only.
I personally believe everyone has to keep their conscience clear and do what is humanly right. That means helping others, showing kindness and basically not being an asshole.
Why is this important? Besides the fact that being good is a good thing, keeping your conscience clear is to relieve you of guilt and foster independence in you. That means to say, you be good so that you don’t see a need to seek validation in others as you do not take your problems out on the world.
And a lot of people fail at this, which then creates a cycle of unhappiness.
So to sum it up…
Follow your heart. Get passion. Do what you have to do to survive. Be nice to others and don’t be an asshole.
Be you. Be human. And that means having a heart on all levels.