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I am so metro I smell my own armpit

The Metrosexual and why he’s annoying


Definition of a Metrosexual:

“A heterosexual, usually urban male who pays much attention to his personal appearance and cultivates an upscale lifestyle.”

-Dictionary.com

 

And with that, the Metrosexual supposedly is very much in touch with his feminine side, hence making him really sensitive to not just others’ feelings, but whoa, his own! The Metrosexual supposedly isn’t afraid to cry because they fucking DARE to express themselves!

Holy fuck! Coupled with the fact that they dress up well because they spend lots of time shopping to buy fashionable shit, they actually have a good chance to meet and attract girls! Cause like you know, girls like sensitive guys and shit. Metrosexuals have that appeal of like, “He’s like my gay BFF, but he’s straight, so that’s cool” to girls.

I am totally cool with Mextrosexuals, but wtf, I think there should be a balance in one’s life, whether you want to be this or that or not. I have met my fair share of Mextrosexuals and many of them are annoying as fuck.

I am so metro that I smell my own armpit, and I have shit on my face

Good fashion sense?

 A good fashion sense doesn’t mean buying expensive shit like Prada, Gucci or LV. Buying expensive shit doesn’t automatically make you fashionable. Infact, if you don’t even like that shit and you buy it for the sake of a trend, then you are just an idiot. Purposefully buying a “gender-neutral” handbag doesn’t make you brave just because you dare to carry it. Showing off the fact that you know the prices, descriptions of expensive brands is totally douche-like and annoying.

I don’t care what people say about new-school masculinity and shit, that’s still a fucking oversized handbag to me.

Feminine side?

 I think EVERY dude on earth has a feminine side. We are guys, not cavemen. We have sensitive shit that mean the world to us, just that it works on different levels and are always unique to each and every one of us.

The Metrosexual annoys the fuck out of me when he goes like, “So… you guys want to talk about… feelings and stuff?” Okay that’s exaggerated, but wtf just because they are always seem to be willing to express their feelings doesn’t make them sensitive! It makes them downright whiny. What annoys me is when you tease them by cracking a really funny joke and they go all like, “Hey… That hurts my feelings”.

New form of Masculinity?

And then this sums it all up. Thanks to Metrosexuality on the rise, people argue that masculinity is changing and shit. To be a “real man”, he has got to be like some metrosexual person who is totally in love with himself, listens to girls and buys nice looking clothes and applies foundation and concealer and other crap on his face.

No fucking way.

Now I bet everyone’s like, “Pfft Alden Tan the douchebag is just going to start being all chauvinistic and start talking about how a real man should be. How typical!”

I nearly was my friends, but that would be too long and too great to be in the same entry as this. What I want I talk about is:

Do not get confused between the metrosexual and a gentleman.

A gentleman is a noble man who bothers to stick up for his woman companion. He does not believe that he is superior than his female counterpart, but yet realizes that he has the duty  to take care of her, regardless of age, class, income, mass-size (if erm, she’s like bigger than you), amongst other things. A gentleman doesn’t mind praising others, whereas a metrosexual loves to be praised. A gentleman is masculine in every  authentic way, while a metrosexual is just plain commercialized. A gentleman believes in looking presentable, but a metrosexual needs to look good to satisfy his own insecurities.

Seems like some ladies are falsely attracted to metrosexuals because they only appear to be all you know, emotional and shit. Maybe it seems cool at the start, but what of real character and personality? Think about it.

I think we were made to be the way we are for perfect reasons. You can be in-touched all you want with your feminine side or other gay stuff, but as I mentioned earlier, there’s got to be balance in everything you do.

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3 comments

  1. Pingback: How to NOT be a man: Be in a gay boyband today | Alden Tan

  2. Maurita Pierrot - April 10, 2013 3:55 am

    First of all I would like to say awesome blog! I had a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you do not mind. I was curious to know how you center yourself and clear your thoughts prior to writing. I have had a tough time clearing my mind in getting my ideas out there. I do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes tend to be lost simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any suggestions or tips? Appreciate it!

    Reply
    • alden - April 11, 2013 8:58 am

      Look into your own experience. Craft the message you want to portray then teach people how do it.

      Reply

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