I mentioned this before once on my blog.
I was quite a nerd, geek, loser or whatever you call it back when I was about 14.
I concentrated a lot on my studies because I did terribly in a milestone exam in my first school. I didn’t want to let my parents down again.
During my free time, I played video games. I played the shit out of my Playstation. I owned a ton of games cause bootlegged games were cheap as hell.
For almost a whole year I did not even go out with my friends. I only watched movies with my family. I stayed home on weekends.
I read fantasy novels of the Dragonlance series. I even idolized one of the characters inside. It was a magic-user named Raistlin and I admired how he could live a fruitful life of studying magic in a cool world.
At one point even, I became “that guy”, the one nobody liked. I knew that cause my friends were acting weird and giving me ugly stares in school.
I literally had no social life and my extremely bad sense of fashion reflected that.
Confidence level was low.
What’s in a life?
The “Get a life” line is quite a cliché, aiming towards people with… well no life at all.
Yes, as you can see, I lived the stereotype once, the “nerd” who plays videogames, didn’t go out with friends and of course, had no girlfriend.
It was through lifestyle experiments, backed up with a heart to change for the better that I turned myself around.
The immediate results were getting out of the house more, socializing with people and even getting a girlfriend.
So what’s in a life?
Is it just about transforming from a basement dwelling nerd who relies on his mom (that I did) to the popular jock in school who high fives the whole world?
Socializing, heading out, meeting new people and getting a girlfriend are all good, but getting a life entails way more than that.
We’re talking end goals of attaining confidence, self-esteem and most importantly, balance.
The definition of getting a life-
To achieve a sense of balance in one’s own life so that he or she is completely comfortable with who that person in the mirror is.
Again, balance, balance, balance.
For a life you can be proud of.
That being said… typical “tools” like money, nice clothes, new handbags, number of Facebook friends, number of followers on Twitter and Instagram or number of times you go out, don’t matter so much.
But keep in mind, change is require if you want to get a life.
Here’s the complete guide to getting a life
1) Fact you should know: “Life” is what YOU make of it
You be the judge of that.
What you like to do and what you want in life is up to you.
Videogames or beach parties? Your choice.
No one else should dictate your truth.
So amidst your journey of change and getting a life, remember to recognize deep down how you feel. There’s no point feeling shitty all the time while supposedly having a life based on others’ expectations. Dump ideas you don’t care for and stop listening to what others think of you.
2) Take action with lifestyle experiments
Because “take action” alone is one of the most overrated shit ever.
Real change comes from experimentation.
With experimentation comes getting out of your comfort zone and feeling that fear. Then you do it anyway.
Never eaten a meal alone before? Do it.
Never asked a girl out before? Do it.
Feeling left out since you’re new to the group? Hang in there.
Feel the fear, get uncomfortable and do something different.
You got to try it. If you’re the one who feels you need a change, then you ought to be stepping it up.
3) Get off social media
Seriously, please do.
Internet and social media make things too easy and convenient for us. You may not know it, but your mind is rotting as it is from too much of it.
This video explains it all.
Stop reading. Watch it first. Seriously.
There’re better ways to connect with others, namely, physically and emotionally.
Just open up a little. You don’t have to transform into a hippie. There’s just a life waiting for you out there.
4) Get out of the house
Indoor person, outdoor person, introvert or extrovert, whatever.
Everybody needs to get out of the house. Don’t be cooped up in a single room all day. It ain’t good.
Your eyes and body alone will be given a treat when you do so. Even a simple 10-minute walk can help.
This is called giving yourself the space for your mind. And it’s absolutely needed.
I don’t believe anyone loves stay in 100% all the time. Even if they claim they do, they’re lying and realizing the unhealthy side effects.
5) Take frequent breaks and make sure they’re bloody good ones
Yes, everybody needs a break. No excuses, even for yourself.
That’s how you recharge, relieve stress and actually feel… life. Yeah, feel life, literally.
Work hard all you like, but you aren’t meant to go at it non-stop. You need to relax.
But the break has to be an awesome one. It has to be meaningful.
Social media, random Facebook surfing or YouTube videos you don’t care for don’t count. They’re worthless. They’re the black holes that make you feel like you’re in space, one which adds no meaning whatsoever to your life.
6) Meet people
Because you’re human. And we all exist together. No excuses again. You’re bound to have to work with others one way or another.
7) Balance it out
See how for whatever I’ve said, it’s never going into extremes? That’s why you won’t find stupid ideas like, “You should go to every party” or “Delete your WoW account”.
Achieve total balance in the middle. Too much of something ain’t good for ya.
8) Live it up
Not sure if you should do it? Just do it anyway. Better to regret trying than not at all.
Back in high school I pushed myself to get out of the house more, ignoring my video games and allowing my studies to slip a little.
They didn’t feel that great at first, but I grew up.
That means to say, you’re growing too.
Pretty soon you’re gonna look back and realize that it wasn’t so bad after all, even the shitty, uncomfortable moments. They’re going to be all awesome memories.
That’s how you expose yourself to different cultures and its people.
Warning: Your mind will be blown here.
The period I met my girlfriend in Bangkok was when I was pretty much alone in a foreign land, and I was just blown away with the kindness I received.
The places I been to over there exposed me to a new way of life that got me thinking of how important the things I do actually are and how I, as a single person can actually match up to others and their own ideas.
10) Go full circle
Back to point 1.
It’s always what you and only you make of it.
But your own circle can always be expanded.
Never underestimate that.
Your life will always be blown from time to time.
Best live it up and know that you always did everything you could within your power to create a life you can be proud of.
That’s how you grab hold of life and get a life.
So grab it by the fucking balls before it’s too late.
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