About five years ago, I was partying inside a club and talking to a girl. Out of nowhere, a couple of girls walked by and pulled her aside. When she came back, she told me, “Those two girls over there just told me to be careful of you.” I looked over and had absolutely no idea who they were.
That same year, I got into a relationship with this girl. In about month or so, she cheated on me with this really, ugly dude. I got very upset. I told a friend about it and she replied, “HAHAHAHAH” in all its capital glory. I don’t talk to her much anymore. I also opened up the topic to another so-called friend and his first reply was, “Why are you always fighting? What is wrong with you?” I do not talk to him anymore.
That same night, my best friend joined me for a drink as I told him I needed to “really fucking drink.” After we had many bottles of beer, I said to him, “Dude, I really need to fuck something up. I need to smash these bottles.” We proceeded to a car park nearby and shattered every single bottle. As violent as that sounds, it was one of the most special moments I had with said friend. It really helped me a lot.
Just recently, I got out of a relationship with somebody whom I loved very much. I was very sure I wanted to marry her, but circumstances changed along the way. A friend insinuated that I wouldn’t be sad at all because I “probably cheated on her already right?”, which is not true.
When this relationship ended, I sent a message via Facebook to her family, saying that I was extremely happy to have met them and that I’d have done anything to contribute to my ex’s niece (this adorable little tyke who was like a year and a half old then) growing up well.
That was the only time I cried because of the breakup. I was alone in my room then.
These tales may sound dramatic, but they’re all true.
From partying with random girls to smashing bottles to crying to… come to think of it, me having really fucked up friends apparently. It is all true and very real.
The honesty in being loud and deviant
This isn’t going to be another “Learn how to not give a fuck about what others think” post. It’s about the idea that everybody has their stories, that means to say, everybody has their own flaws, which is a good thing, because every chink in the armor means that sparks of brilliance flew out when the hit was made.
The difference is whether you’re willing to share your stories, in all its vulnerability or hide behind a mask that resembles a sheep.
I got it, you know? The shit said about me. The mean, cruel remarks I received despite my time in darkness. The fact that sometimes, I have nobody to turn to for emotional support. I got it, and I’m okay with it. I’m okay with everything that goes on in my life.
The world doesn’t stop revolving because of you and sometimes people are just assholes. It’s just the way life works.
Now, do you want to play along with their rules? Or do you want to be honest and make life your bitch?
3 things happen when you’re extremely honest
1) Your conscience becomes clear as day
When I mention honesty, I mean being honest with other people and most importantly, yourself. It honestly doesn’t take a genius to do either of that, but a lot of us don’t do it.
Whenever I’m single and meeting girls, I always am upfront with my intentions. I let them know that mostly, I’m not looking for anything serious, that is, when the topic is brought up by her. I don’t announce it to the world. That’s lame. You have no idea though, how much pussy I had to pass on because of this.
But it’s all cool. My conscience is clear. It beats knowing that you may have hurt somebody.
Get your conscience clear by being honest with yourself and then those around you. Don’t lie and don’t deceive. It’s that easy. When your conscience is clear, you eliminate all conflict within your soul and that effectively makes you less insecure as a person. And with less insecurities, the more you’d dare to face the world.
Don’t believe me? Try it yourself.
2) Your judgment in character becomes spot-on
All the bullshit I take in from so-called friends? It all only works as a filter. Whoever acts not-very-friendly to me isn’t my friend. It’s as simple as that.
I don’t waste my time getting pissed over assholes. They’ve their own problems and I don’t need to add them to my pile.
This will happen to you when you’re honest and open. There will be haters, naysayers and insecure critics. They want a piece of your pie. And that’s great because you can easily differentiate who are the people who truly belong in your life and those who don’t.
When you filter them out properly, chuck the toxic people aside. Stick to your real friends then.
3) You become braver and you get to inspire others
Hence, this article.
Not all people in life get to make an impact on people, much less inspire them. Think about it. I say again, not all people in life get to inspire others.
When most people are talking shit or just hating on somebody, that somebody is always being himself and doing what he wants. That is the key difference between successful people and those who are mediocre.
So now, I dare you. Put yourself in a spot to be judged. That is how you start standing out. If you think about it, it’s pretty easy because most people don’t dare to be judged.
Misunderstood? Chill and keep doing you
I guess we can’t escape the topic. Yeah, stop giving a fuck about what others think.
Shed any notions you might have if your supposed reputation gets hurt. It really doesn’t matter. Only little people talk about people. People who change the world are too busy doing their own thing. They don’t have time to talk about others.
If you feel constantly pissed off or upset with how your life is running, start asking the honest questions in your life and firmly set the direction you want to go.
Next, check your surroundings. Check the people you’re constantly hanging out with. Eliminate all the toxic people. Use your filter.
Then remember to chill, because it’s all usually okay.