A story of not taking shit from arrogant people

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Picture taken from Imgur


Welcome back to regular writing! The Lunar New Year holidays are over and my girlfriend has gone back home. Alden Tan is back in full force.

And I got a post ready for you. Nay, call it a rant, or even a stand against arrogant assholes. I’m not normally this bitchy, but there’re too many lessons here to pass up on.

The following email exchange happened a few days ago

Context: I was trying to arrange a  “swap” with this other internet marketer (Note: I don’t consider myself an internet marketer. I’m a writer), whereby we’d both mutually agree to send our free, opt-in gifts to our respective email lists. To clarify a little further, my gift is my book, 12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a Fuck About. So he would send that to his subscribers, I’d send his to my subscribers. We’d both benefit as we get more subscribers.

What was supposed to be a simple exchange turned into a series of annoying emails which displayed nothing but arrogance and complete lack of pride in one’s work.

No more talk! Here’s what it looked like-


Email #1 from Stupid Asshole: 

Hello Alden,

going on well 🙂 yeah we are ready for a swap.. we can send about 500 to 1k clicks depending upon various factors. please send me your swipe and let me know when you can mail for us. we can mail for you in the next 3 days let me know thx

Note: A “swipe” is a whole pre-made email copy for people to copy and paste in. It makes work that much easier, although it’s honestly better if you write it out in your own voice for authenticity’s sake.

My reply: 

Hey Stupid Asshole,

My opt-in page is:

Yours? Sorry for the slight delay in reply. I can’t do the next 3 days though. Is next week ok? Between 10th to 15th. 


Email #2 from Stupid Asshole:

hello Alden, do you have the swipe we can use? also can you tell me how many clicks you can send?

My reply:

Attached is my swipe. Can you send me yours? I can send about 700 clicks. Which day is good for you?


Email #3 from Stupid Asshole:

i can send our swipe in 2 to 3 days we can reciprocate with 700 clicks no issue.


Email #4 from Stupid Asshole:

hey bro is there no tracking link? to track the clicks? let me know thx

My reply, where my patience was wearing thin:

Can you PLEASE send me your swipe so I can take a look?

I’ll put in the tracking link in another email.

And as I said, I can only swap next week.


Email #5 from Stupid Asshole:

i will send you swipe in 3 days preparing a new product 

also, do you mean, you will send me another swipe now?

i dont get u

we are ready to mail tomorrow so need to set up immediately


My reply: 

Seriously… you don’t get me?

Lol. Forget it then. I ain’t swapping with you.


Email #6 from Stupid Asshole:


you are in the self help niche why are you so pissed for a genuine question from a swap partner who is ready to mail for you?

(More shit about tracking link and swipes. All typed out with lack of capitalizing his words and bad grammar).

My reply:

I’ve kept asking you for your swipe and you blatantly ignored me in almost every email. This tells me you do not care if I think your gift is a suitable choice for my readers.

I’ve also told you TWICE that I’m not available to swap until next week, but you kept telling me you’re ready to swap in the next three days.

Please tell me why I should give a shit when clearly you don’t?

-And… scene! No more emails from Stupid Asshole –


I then emailed this other blogger who made the introduction for us:


Hey dude, who is this Stupid Asshole guy? 

I’ve been trying to coordinate with him and it has been extremely difficult. He’s either deluded, blind or just can’t understand English altogether.

Other internet marketer dude:

Not sure why’d you think that. He’s a busy guy… owns a company. But he’s none of the things you’ve suggested. Anyway… that’s fine.


My gripes: 

Stupid Asshole clearly only cared about himself. He was ignoring simple questions which would take five seconds to acknowledge.

He did not care to ask if his gift would be suitable for my list. I personally accept the fact that other marketers would object to my book being sent out to their readers. My book is straight forward, vulgar as fuck and only suit people who are open to my non-bullshit style. I know, and understand that certain people of the world cannot take profanities, which is something I respect. What if Stupid Asshole’s gift was something lame and yet another self-helpy thing like… Oh I don’t know, something wants to teach you to scream Thank God It’s Monday!? Oh my God.

To top it off, he actually said, “i don’t get you” and proceeded to tell me he (and purportedly his team) was ready to send out the email swipe. I don’t know if he was just playing dumb or deluded.

And the other internet marketer dude was so quick to tell me Stupid Asshole is a “busy guy” and “owns a company”.

Man oh man…

Let the lessons begin

To some of us, it’s not about the numbers, ease in transaction or even money

“i dont get you” was what Stupid Asshole said. All he clearly thought about was how he thought he was doing me a favour by trying to make the transaction as easy as possible, but only in his eyes. Yet he was coming across as totally flippant, rude and arrogant without realizing it.

He only cared about sending the email out, getting the clicks and capturing the subscribers. These are all good, but… some of us don’t just aim for them, at least not in a manner that lacks heart and soul.

I care for heart and soul. I care for my readers. That is why I got annoyed he was ignoring my questions and did not take it lightly that he thought things would go his way (by sending me his swipe at the last minute).

And other internet marketing dude? “owns a company”? Is there all you can tell me about him? Is that one of the prime aspects of entrepreneur-ism you only look up? This is basic courtesy and respect for one another. So what if he owns a company? Ever occurred to you that some of us want to see more in character and other shit outside of entrepreneurship?

Some of us don’t care about the mere tangible results. We care about heart and soul. We care about the art we create, which we will never refer to as “product”, “clicks” or whatever. We care that everyone has their own unique way of doing things, and we respect that. We see each other as human and not a mere commodity of benefits.

That is why people like you, Stupid Asshole “dont get” us. You’re so high up in your cloud of bullshit that you forget that us “little guys” are also like you, human.

Busy is fucking bullshit

So I was also told Stupid Asshole was a “busy guy”.

Everybody is busy today. Busy is straight-up, fucking bullshit. If something or someone is important to you, you’ll make time, no matter what. And it’s a fucking sad fact that most people today can never make time for the easiest of tasks like replying a text, typing out an email, spending time with your mom or CAPITALIZING YOUR GOD DAMN WORDS.

No, fucking, excuses.

Taking pride in one’s work and ultimately yourself

Oh sure, Stupid Asshole has a company and is a busy guy. I bet he earns a ton of money and probably owns a gigantic list of subscribers. But clearly, “busy” has gotten in the way and he didn’t see the need to even type out proper sentences.

And oh sure, “time is money”, boosting productivity, “leverage”, benefits and… whatever. Shut the fuck up.

This is PRIDE I’m talking about now. Fucking pride in how you carry out your work and how you actually portray yourself to others. As mentioned, some of us don’t care that much for the tangible benefits. If all you care about is getting the benefits, then go live in a world of benefits. Go be one of those entrepreneurs where enough is never enough. I guarantee your pride and respect for yourself will go down.

If you can’t even take time off to acknowledge others’ simple questions and even type out proper emails, and only want to “get the job done”… then you can’t ever see the finer things in life.

What things? Take time off your busy life and make a REAL connection with someone who has heart and soul. You’ll know then.

Following your gut

I honestly had it up to here (points here) when dealing with Stupid Asshole, which is why I decided to call the swap off.

Look… I get it. Everybody has their own perspective. Everybody is busy. I know. Even I’m guilty of that from time to time. I stood to gain a lot of subscribers and even earn some money off them. The benefits would have come a few fold in comparison to the little trouble I could have taken to deal with him, which would be an extremely minor annoyance in the grand scheme of things.

Heck, I probably would have seen through the whole thing if I was in a better mood.

I could have this, and I also would have that.

But I followed my gut and did what I believed in. People like to say shit like, “My heart says this, but my head says otherwise”. Yo… the head worries about everything, period. If you raise one question, a few more would pop up. It never ends.

That is why you need to say, “Fuck it”, follow your gut and work according to your instincts… sometimes.

I know a lot of internet marketers reading this would disagree with what I did, saying I lost out, that I don’t get what it takes to be a marketer or whatever. I can only say… fuck, scroll up and read everything again geez.

I followed my gut because I believe in myself. This means to say, despite losing out on benefits, I know in my heart that I did the right thing and that does not mean I’m wrong in what I do. If anything, what is right or wrong is only up to me, and I’ll stick to that. I then move on ahead in life without looking back

And… you know what? I followed my gut because I have the balls to stand up not just for myself, but for the rest of us little guys. Yeah, I’m still a little guy. I don’t earn six-figures or have a 100k list of subscribers. I believe in something more than entrepreneurship, you know, like heart and soul.

Besides, Stupid Asshole, I’ve met guys like you, even a real millionaire. But you know what? I’ve had lunches with them. They took time out of their busy lives to meet a little dude like me. They’re successful in every tangible, beneficial way entrepreneur-ism brings, but they managed to not become annoying douchebags like you. We got to know each other as real friends. If they can balance that shit out, so can you. Take a lesson or two here if you happen to read this…. if you can understand my perfect English that contains capital letters.

Stand up for yourself guys and girls. Stand up for what you believe in. You’re never, ever wrong when you do so. You can think all you like. It’s great if life throws you the option to be perfectly balanced. Too bad it doesn’t work that way sometimes. That’s why you do what your heart says.

I guarantee that when you do what you believe in, you’re going to produce the most amazing shit you ever will and start seeing a bunch of positive people who will lift you up and inspire the fuck out of you in your life.



P.S. I just wanted to write a little thank you to all my lovely and fucking awesome readers. You, who have emailed me and saying you love my profane voice. You, who also believe in what I do. I just love hearing your stories and literally telling me how you guys keep it real like “sailors” lol. This blog will always be here for you. And also, thank you to those who have purchased my books. You’ve supporting the dream.

If you haven’t, what’re you waiting for?! Haha. It’s cool. Thanks again. 

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  1. Sally - February 21, 2014 4:46 am

    Alden!! I just LOVED this website!! Thanks for being authentic and real!! Glad you dumped Stupid Asshole!!
    Keep being who you are! A Real Human Being not a bull-shitter!!!

    Aloha….. Sal

    • alden - February 21, 2014 11:26 pm

      No problem! Thanks for dropping by!


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