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Stupid shit I stopped doing after I turned 30

Originally answered on Quora here.

My answers may be a little different because some might say that I’m a 30 year-old introverted asshole, which I am actually.

Here we go: Things I stopped doing after I reached 30

1) Picking up my calls

I  honestly think this is a waste of time. Technology has it made it too easy today to communicate via text or instant messaging. More often than not, people who like to call are the same guys who claim to be too busy to even reply a text anyway. These are the real assholes if you ask me.

What really grinds my gears is when somebody replies my email or text with a call. I mean, if I fucking wanted to call or if it was urgent in the first place, I’d have called.

So yeah. I don’t pick up my calls. I let them text me later.

2) Say yes even though I don’t want to

Just say no if you really don’t want to comply or do that favor or whatever.

You can say no. You’re allowed to watch out for yourself.

That said…

3) Pleasing everyone I meet

You can’t do it. It’s impossible. Try to please everyone is your ticket to unhappiness. Guaranteed.

So fuck that. You don’t need to be mean or unfriendly, but you don’t need to suck up to an asshole either.

4) Putting up a front to appear friendly

I don’t like making friends anymore. I am that introverted. I prefer 1-on-1 appointments where there’d be meaningful conversations than groups with their own special dynamics. Unless it’s my special group, I can’t be fucked with the dynamics.

The way I see it, I’m 30. I have my few close friends. That’s enough. Why do I need to be friends with everybody? I am not running for president.

I am always polite. I am not that much of an asshole, but if you can read into my body language, you will know I am not interested to talk to you upon first meeting, especially if you’re real bore who talks about normal, everyday shit like, “What do you do for a living?”, which is usually followed with “Oh do you know [random person]?” No, I don’t fucking know. The place is fucking big! Geez.

5) Attending weddings

They’re a fucking waste of time. It’s a block of time and wad of cash gone for the night.

Essentially, it irks me that the couple, who has every right to feel that it’s a very important night for them tries to place said importance the guest, “pressuring” them to come just because.

I just don’t bother anymore. The time and money can be of better use for myself.

6) Obeying and doing the right thing

I’ve a bunch of anger issues, and from experience, doing the right thing still leads to me being pissed off. So I stopped obeying.

I don’t do shit to get into trouble intentionally of course, but I make little decisions for the sole sake of my benefit, like the examples in this list.

7) Showing up

I do not show up for anything as long as there is somebody there I dislike.

It is as simple as that.

People who do that are hypocrites to me, saying shit like, “Oh I’m patronizing and civil” or deciding last minute, “Oh that person who used to piss me off? Ahhh he’s actually ain’t that bad.”

Bullshit. If you have the gall to constantly gossip and bitch about somebody in the back, then have the gall to stop putting on a facade in front of them.

8) Saving money for pretty much nothing

I am pretty frugal in my life. I can easily save a lot of money.

But the thing is, I realized no amount of money can make me feel happy. It can only make me feel stable.

The stability however, keeps changing, which in turn makes room for more unhappiness. E.g. if I go from $500 to $1000 in a month, I’d feel great at $1000 and probably spend a little. If I then one day, accidentally spend too much and go from $8000 to $7000, I’d be like, oh fuck I spent too much! I gotta make sure I don’t go below $7000 or else I may develop a bad habit of spending too much.

So I stop letting money rule me. Just splurge man. Grow up and look back at happy memories, not a fat bank account that won’t mean shit to you after you die.

If you want to argue that emergency funds need to be set aside, you also need to know that no amount can ever be enough. You’re talking to the guy whose dad started a successful business only to get an incurable disease, ending his life prematurely. You’re also talking to the guy who has hyperthyroidism and it’d be with me forever. Shit came out of nowhere.

9) Looking up to assholes

Listen up: Just because somebody is rich or famous doesn’t mean that they’re successful.

Some are depressed and unhappy.

Some lack even basic human decency.

Some are faking it.

It’s a waste of time.

If they’re nice, go ahead and learn from them and be inspired.

Then go at it your own way. You’ve your own path anyway. Look forward, not up where assholes are.

You’re you so lead your own life. It’s never too late to start.

10) Managing my anger

As far as my experience goes, anger management is complete fucking bullshit. It’s denial if it’s called anything.

I realized admitting that I’m angry person, not being nice when I don’t want to and even giving in to the fact that I am one bad day away from being a criminal helps way more.

If anything, it allows me to feel that I am in control for once.

Emotions are tricky. It’s all about balancing it properly so you can lead a healthy life.

And you should go at it your own way. Fuck what others think.

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7 comments

  1. SHIVA RJ - April 17, 2016 1:52 pm

    This post SCREAMS coolness!!!

    Reply
  2. Jack - April 18, 2016 12:32 am

    Some of this I can relate to – and basically do likewise – and some I can’t. Hey, man, you’re definitely doing your own thing, so good on you for that.

    Reply
  3. Charles Mbewe - April 18, 2016 9:03 am

    Ya! There you go Alden with another down to earth writing. I like its originality, totally out of this world. looking forward to more of the same. Keeping writing.

    Charles

    Reply
  4. Rich - April 18, 2016 10:50 pm

    You rock Alden–keep telling it like it is and keeping it real.

    Reply
  5. Shawn Lim - April 26, 2016 1:35 pm

    This is the first time I come across and I read this article from the beginning to the end.
    Gotta say that you’re really down-to-earth and your writing is cool.
    Love it when you say to do it your way. It’s our lives anyway, so there’s no need to care what others have to say.

    Reply
  6. Kurdo - May 8, 2016 1:57 am

    I agree on some points and couldn’t on some.
    I’m an eighteen years old adult who make music and working hard to do it the right way. I choose electronic music as a dream and a career.
    Btw, i mean you are really missing out some beautiful moments on life. They can be right and fit with your personality and everything. But not for all. Also you are a blogger and inspire people you can’t just decide things hardly and making it sure that it is fucking real. My job is “creation of beauty”. Which is the official definition of music. I think you really miss out some soul moments for your own’s personality sake.
    I’ve been reading this blog since 2014 and this post (on some points) may opposite of your previous thoughts which helped me alot and made me successful practically and emotionally.
    P.S: I found myself pretty bad-ass after knowing who I am, not an asshole.
    Thanks!

    Reply
  7. Joon - May 10, 2016 9:23 pm

    I landed on your website searching something related to b boying. I like what you’re doing. I’m 31 and I can pretty much relate to everything on this article except for the last one. I had to learn to manage my anger and direct it in some other ways because my anger used to be out of control and got me into quite a few troubles. But I understand, as long as you can vent in a healthy and non destructive or illegal way, nothing wrong with it.

    Reply

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