I said it before and I’ll say again, cheating is so common today that it shouldn’t come as a surprise to you anymore when you find out that somebody is cheating.
What if that somebody is your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, brother, sister, pastor, inspiring teacher, cool aunt or uncle, mentor, dad or mom?
Nope. No surprises. Not anymore.
Cheating is so common that it’s a phenomenon. Google “Why good people cheat” and you can find whole articles on the psychology behind it.
I’ve been cheated on before and I’ve cheated. I was young back then. I was extreme about it. I was fully hurt, but I was also a major dickhead. There was a lot of sadness, and there was also a lot of anger. If anything, I learnt how in relationships, you discover new things about yourself, and that includes the dark side of you.
Everybody truly has a reason to cheat today
And for many, that reason is that they’re just plain, fucking assholes.
For the non-assholes, that reason is that they made an honest mistake, or they feel validated enough to carry out the deed.
The two groups do NOT overlap. Trust me, they don’t. This is something hard to swallow, especially if you’re pretty green in relationship; pretty green in knowing who the hell you actually are.
What the hell do you do with this information?
You don’t go into extremes anymore.
If you were cheated on, it’s time to ease back on the possibility that you do not need to issue a death sentence on your partner, as painful as it is.
That possibility is hope, real hope. It means things can be worked out. Or heck, things can be literally thrown away, like how Bradley Cooper’s character, Phil in The Hangover Part II says, “And then we forget, that’s what we do, I do so much fucked up shit and then I just forget about it!”
Denial? Repression? Dishonesty? Sure.
Forgiveness? Moving on completely? SURE thing too!
Possibilities swing both ways, even if you find it hard to believe or accept. That’s why it’s called a possibility: to realize that something super fucking hard to accept is actually doable.
And with possibilities come the power of choice.
Even if it’s something super fucked up, like cheating there is that possibility for you, and your partner to become better from it. You just need to decide on your own and stop letting ideas, that never came from you initially deter you from doing what you want.
It’s not a popular choice, but the popular choice doesn’t make it the right one either. In fact, it’s just the most convenient.
Now, does being lazy and afraid get you anywhere in life?