Alden-tan.com

Never underestimate the power of a stupid joke

Do you like jokes? I fucking love’em.

Do you know what kind of jokes I like?

I like the really punny (get it?) ones that’re really stupid and lame. They’re so stupid that instead of laughter, my friends give me looks of disbelief or they completely ignore me.

Only people who think like me laugh at my jokes.

Need some examples? Here they are:

Disclaimer: All of the jokes below are mostly created by me, or stolen from another friend then claiming that I made them up. I’m not sure, I forget.

My legendary trademarked Whale joke

Q: What did the whale detective say when he arrived at the crime scene?

A: He said, “Whale whale whale, what do we have here?”

Awesome pick-up line

You: What material do you think this is? (this is the part you rub your shirt or something when you talk to the girl)

Her: (She would most likely reply) “I don’t know, cotten?”

You: Wrong. It’s Boyfriend Material!

Next-level Diablo jokes

Q: What do you call Diablo when you two are really close friends?

A: Diabro

Q: Why is it Belial is called the Lord of Lies?

A: Cause he’s not very beliable

Q: Why did Tyrael rebel against the other angels?

A: He was just keeping it tyrael.

My shameless rebuttal to girls

Because some girls told me before I’ve that “Korean Boyband” look.

A: Well, I may not be Taeyang, but I can still give girls a BIG BANG.

Oh man are you fucking laughing?!

Cause I am!

And I can repeat the hell out of these jokes, all day, everyday.

Are Alden and his friends retarded?

Because these jokes aren’t funny at all right?

To tell these jokes would probably mean an instant ban in social gatherings.

If you think that, well, that’s because you aren’t laughing.

Did you see what I just did there?

Here’s how it works for me and my friends

Me: (Tell awesome joke)

Friends: (Give that baffled look of disbelief) and “Oh my God Alden can you please just get lost”.

Me: Hahahahah! OOOH!!! Get it?! Get it?! (continues until everyone gets it).

Now, it gets even better when a friend actually gets it and laughs along. The laughter among us gets thunderous and our collective “Ooooh!”s can match that of the douchebags you see in college movies.

Are you STILL trying to get it?

Please stop.

Cause let me tell you this:

Never underestimate the power of a stupid joke

Do you know how awesome it feels to just laugh away at something only you think is funny?

Do you know how liberating it feels to just go, “OOoooohh!” at the top of your voice?

When was the last time you did that?

All too often I think most of us are too caught up trying to get it.

Forget that.

Life is too short to try to comprehend everything just so it can make sense to you. 

Be stupid, and just laugh.

Go crazy, get your “OOooooooohh!”s in.

Life can be your boys’ locker room, where we talk shit all day and laugh at the dumbest things.

That means to say, life can be fun.

You have your 9gag, your 4chan, your Failblog or whatever. They’re all good. There are endless resources of laughter and joy for you.

So just relax, and enjoy.

Don’t underestimate how happy you can be, from the smallest, simplest things in life. And it doesn’t matter if no one else laughs with you.

Would you like more next-level jokes?

Then fill in your details! I’ll hook yo ass up!

 

 

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15 comments

  1. Sonia - May 25, 2012 3:46 am

    I love the fun you evoked in this post. Its one thing to say your happy, but to be happy is an entirely different animal. I use to work with a guy that use to tell jokes all the time. Some thought he was annoying, but he had this magnetism about himself that people hung around when he was in the room. He made people laugh and when others didn’t laugh at his jokes he still laughed himself.

    I respect people that can laugh at themselves and not take sh– so seriously. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff anyway. By the way, the jokes were funny and you are smoking!

    Reply
    • alden - May 25, 2012 8:13 am

      Thanks for dropping by Sonia!

      Yeah I love laughing, no reason not to! Hanging out with the class clown is awesome. As a kid, I always wondered how the class clown dares to be himself. I think I actually thought at one point that they’d go nowhere in life, until it hit me one day they knew how to be happy.

      Sometimes just expressing yourself in extravagant manners, if for the smallest reason can make everything fun and awesome. I’ve no idea how many times me and my colleagues greet each other with a loud, “WASSUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP”, and I knew the night was going to be awesome.

      Reply
  2. From Shopping to Saving - May 30, 2012 9:16 pm

    This post was meant for me! I’m always that person laughing at a stupid joke. Too many times my friends will all be so uptight about it…. relax everyone, it’s a freaking joke. Just laugh for crying out loud. You won’t die from it!

    I do have a friend who I am able to laugh with about anything. We just get each other that way. When I’m around her, we laugh until our sides hurt… it really is nice to just laugh without caring.

    another funny site to add to your list – whatshouldwecallme.tumblr.com haha

    Reply
    • alden - May 30, 2012 10:30 pm

      I know right!

      Thanks for dropping by Erika. I love stupid jokes too. They seem to be the funniest to me. I love how random they are and how they just come out of nowhere.

      Don’t just laugh, go “OOOH”.

      Thanks for that website, it looks good. haha

      Reply
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  4. James Parker - June 14, 2012 9:42 pm

    dude, I LOVE puns. the jokes that make a person’s soul hurt, or the ones that every time you say it people all around just wince and cower — those are so my fav.

    this one’s at the top of my list. it’s a great finisher for a line of painfully fantastic jokes. keep in mind, however it’s better said than read.

    “two snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff ……. BA DUM CHING!”

    Reply
    • alden - June 15, 2012 2:57 am

      Hahahah oh man that was solid!!

      Love it!

      Haha I love the way you describe it, making a person’s soul hurt.

      How some like to put it is that it leaves people cold. LOL.

      Reply
  5. Leon Bailey - June 23, 2012 6:32 am

    It’s a freaking joke. Just laugh for crying out loud. You won’t die from it! I like those types of jocks who make somebody laugh. I think jokes should not have any reason to make anybody laugh. I also registered with another site “Just jokes – JustJokes.tv” these also contain so many funny videos, funny jokes, black comedy & hilarious jokes.

    Reply
    • alden - June 23, 2012 8:41 am

      Awesome Leon! I’ll take a look.

      Reply
  6. VickiB - June 26, 2012 6:50 pm

    Alden, I love stupid jokes and puns. One of my favorites is in Spanish and when I tell it in English I have to explain some of the vocabulary. Then people just look at me and I laugh my head off. Sometimes they say it must lose something in translation, and that’s even funnier — to me. Because when I tell it to Spanish speakers, they just look at me too!

    Nothing is better than a pun. I have a highly literate circle of friends who can, and do, spend hours building on each other’s puns. We gather at the coffee shop on Saturday mornings to sharpen our wits and our humor and it is the most fun ever.

    Reply
    • alden - June 27, 2012 7:36 am

      Stupid jokes are awesome. I’d love to hear about that one!

      Haha I’ve a few friends who love puns too. We exchange them all the time and we go like “OOOHHHH” non-stop.

      Reply
      • kb - June 27, 2012 3:57 pm

        Boyfriend material…Ooohhhhh!

        Reply
        • alden - June 27, 2012 8:29 pm

          Haha I WONDER who came up with it.

          Reply
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