Do you like jokes? I fucking love’em.
Do you know what kind of jokes I like?
I like the really punny (get it?) ones that’re really stupid and lame. They’re so stupid that instead of laughter, my friends give me looks of disbelief or they completely ignore me.
Only people who think like me laugh at my jokes.
Need some examples? Here they are:
Disclaimer: All of the jokes below are mostly created by me, or stolen from another friend then claiming that I made them up. I’m not sure, I forget.
My legendary trademarked Whale joke
Q: What did the whale detective say when he arrived at the crime scene?
A: He said, “Whale whale whale, what do we have here?”
Awesome pick-up line
You: What material do you think this is? (this is the part you rub your shirt or something when you talk to the girl)
Her: (She would most likely reply) “I don’t know, cotten?”
You: Wrong. It’s Boyfriend Material!
Next-level Diablo jokes
Q: What do you call Diablo when you two are really close friends?
Q: Why is it Belial is called the Lord of Lies?
A: Cause he’s not very beliable
Q: Why did Tyrael rebel against the other angels?
A: He was just keeping it tyrael.
My shameless rebuttal to girls
Because some girls told me before I’ve that “Korean Boyband” look.
A: Well, I may not be Taeyang, but I can still give girls a BIG BANG.
Oh man are you fucking laughing?!
Cause I am!
And I can repeat the hell out of these jokes, all day, everyday.
Are Alden and his friends retarded?
Because these jokes aren’t funny at all right?
To tell these jokes would probably mean an instant ban in social gatherings.
If you think that, well, that’s because you aren’t laughing.
Did you see what I just did there?
Here’s how it works for me and my friends
Me: (Tell awesome joke)
Friends: (Give that baffled look of disbelief) and “Oh my God Alden can you please just get lost”.
Me: Hahahahah! OOOH!!! Get it?! Get it?! (continues until everyone gets it).
Now, it gets even better when a friend actually gets it and laughs along. The laughter among us gets thunderous and our collective “Ooooh!”s can match that of the douchebags you see in college movies.
Are you STILL trying to get it?
Cause let me tell you this:
Never underestimate the power of a stupid joke
Do you know how awesome it feels to just laugh away at something only you think is funny?
Do you know how liberating it feels to just go, “OOoooohh!” at the top of your voice?
When was the last time you did that?
All too often I think most of us are too caught up trying to get it.
Life is too short to try to comprehend everything just so it can make sense to you.
Be stupid, and just laugh.
Go crazy, get your “OOooooooohh!”s in.
Life can be your boys’ locker room, where we talk shit all day and laugh at the dumbest things.
That means to say, life can be fun.
You have your 9gag, your 4chan, your Failblog or whatever. They’re all good. There are endless resources of laughter and joy for you.
So just relax, and enjoy.
Don’t underestimate how happy you can be, from the smallest, simplest things in life. And it doesn’t matter if no one else laughs with you.
Would you like more next-level jokes?
Then fill in your details! I’ll hook yo ass up!