The monster in all of us: Why good people want other good people to die

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I watched Guardians of the Galaxy a few days back alone. I like watching movies alone. There’s no fuss or trouble in dealing with latecomers or people who don’t reply on time.

The movie was alright. But my movie experience was bad.

There were two fucking nerds behind me who kept talking throughout the movie. One of them apparently was dictating to his friend what would happen next.

Look kid, nobody cares if you’re a huge Marvel Fan. The rest of us have not watched the movie and we want to enjoy it, spoiler-free. You also seem to be the kind who only watches the movie-counterpart of a series, not read the comics or books and then claim you’re a hardcore fan. Even your lack of life needs to get a life.

You wanna know why you two bespectacled scrawny fucks are watching a movie together? It’s because neither of you can get a girl out. Both you and I know that.

On my right was a couple where the girlfriend was enjoying the movie way too much. She laughed at moments which were not even funny. She asked questions repeatedly to her boyfriend loudly. Most of all, she’d be so amazed at not-really-amazing-at-all movie moments that she had to repeat and narrate whatever that just happened, like, “OOOOH. So that was Ronan’s plan all along!”

And whenever she laughed, she’d go into hysterics by slapping her thigh and rock her seat violently.

Calm the fuck down you crazy bitch. This isn’t some live stand up where smart, controversial jokes are made to make you think. It’s just a typical blockbuster. Vin Diesal reportedly said he recorded his line, “I am Groot” more than a thousand times, but that doesn’t mean you need to open your god damn mouth a thousand times!

I was so annoyed by the end of the movie that I didn’t bother to stay on for the after-credits scene. I stormed out. I really wanted nothing more than these annoying fucks to die.

Look… Look at the hate I just wrote. Can you feel the hate emanating from my writing?

And, cut. No more CGI bullshit. Let’s get to the real stuff. Get ready. It’s going to get even more dramatic.

The monster in all of us

Hey… I’m a good guy. I’m a cool dude who avoids trouble and aims to help people with my writing. It wasn’t like I lost it in the theatre, confronted them and challenged them to a fight, not that it’d have really helped honestly…

… I was almost twice the size of any of them.

But unfortunately, there’s a monster somewhere lurking within. You may be a good person, but there’s always a dark side. There’s where the monster sleeps.

I always wanted to write about this issue. Are we all really good people or just actors? How good and kind are we really? Does it make a difference just because we don’t act on our (extreme) negative thoughts?

And how secure are we in the idea that we think we’re good people? Are we good enough? Why did I have to state that I was twice the size of them?

The monster leaves us with so many questions.

It it sensitive and petty because we only have tiny non-issues to deal with

It is easy to think that us “good” people have our moments. “We’re only human” we say. Or mostly, “It’s just a small issue. Get over yourself.”

But it’s these small issues which I think makes us into petty and sensitive creatures. Is that to say we’re weak as hell because we let such small shit get to us?

We may not act out in an extreme manner, but instead, our monsters make us revel in annoyance. It is always about being annoyed only.

When we’re annoyed, we pretty much act like bitches. That’s how gossip starts. That’s why we always use sarcasm and make subtle remarks.

That is good because it is safe. We won’t do stupid shit like getting into a fight as we let the monster manifest itself. But yeah, it makes us into little bitches.

So are we truly weak? Or are we just playing safe under the disguise of being nice?

It is a time bomb

There’s an argument going around that criminals are not bad people. They’re good people who made mistakes.

Imagine a person who is tormented everyday by bullies. Nobody gives a shit. Not even the authorities. The person finally couldn’t take it and unleashed hell on his bullies. The person gets in trouble with the law while the bullies are considered alright under the eyes of the law because they were always playing safe and basically being a bunch of bitches.

To extend that debate, there’re probably tons of people who got away with it and not end up in jail because they got lucky or it just worked out somehow. Are they good or bad then?

And since “we’re only human”, we’re at the mercy of luck, good or bad timing, our surroundings or random, spontaneous outbursts we ourselves can’t even explain. That’s why there’re therapy services out there.

We’re only human? We’re also only monsters.

Monsters need to come out

Because we’re all monsters.

There’re so many “good” people who are nothing more than modern cowards as they use flowery bullshit to manipulate others.

There’re also so many “good” people, like me who can explode any minute. I could have easily made myself into the bad guy if I acted out in the theatre and started a fight with any one of those annoying pricks and I’d have been the asshole.

I don’t think there’s a real answer to why good people would other good people to die. That’s extreme.

The bigger question is why this idea has been playfully flying back and forth people’s minds. Oh don’t deny it. You know you thought about it before. Give in to the hate… throw yourself to the darkness…

Just kidding.

Don’t be too quick to judge and assume somebody is nice or not. We all have our dark side. Even the the nicest people around can screw up while the bad guys (under the eyes of the law) can be more human than you think.

There’re so many truly good people who have been lambasted and deemed “bad” only because they were inadvertently placed on the wrong side of the press. As such, the other so-called good people start to gossip and spread rumours about them. I know because I have ever been in that position. It’s mind-boggling. Imagine simply minding your own business or even try to help others and somehow they’d turn it against you.

Be aware of who you really are. You may not be as nice as you think.

But eh. Do whatever the fuck you want. I’m humble enough to say I’ll never be a judge.

I’m just a fucking nice monster.

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  1. Renee - August 11, 2014 3:50 am

    Excellent article. I don’t find to many out there in cyber space. You see sir I have many Haters. I am outspoken, brash. I have been told most of my 56 years that I am Brutally Honest. Oh well to bad I say. I may only have a handful of friends world wide, however I am cool with that. I spent several years trying to change. Well that got me burnt out. Two types of female type cancers. 12 surgeries plus. That was when I said screw everybody. You don’t like me I don’t give a rats ass. That included family also. In my life I have been put in some life threatening situations due to rumors that others have perpetuated about me to this day. My mother hasn’t spoke to me in 8 years, nor my one biological brother. Very extended family. Not even when my 26 year old incredible youngest son died could they say Hey sorry. My oldest son is just as fantastic. Their loss. The best way to hurt those haters is. To do better then you did the day before. Period. I would hope your mom finds you just as fantastic. I DO. JJRenee That I got from the military. Best Wishes & keep writing!!!

    • Suzi - August 11, 2014 11:40 am

      First I would like to say I’m very sorry for the pain you’ve gone through because of your cancer and your family. I haven’t had cancer, but my sister did, and she remains the strongest and bravest person I’ve ever known, even years after her too-early demise. She was a good person with a kind heart, gentle spirit, and sharp wit, who got a raw deal in this life for a lot of reasons. You are not alone. My only remaining sibling has chosen crack cocaine over everything else, including any relationship with me. I haven’t seen him in 14 years, and I’ve been told he wants no contact. Fine. I don’t need a crackhead in my life. My parents are dead – my father was abusive, and my mother was oblivious. And because they were professionals, everybody thinks my growing up was ideal, so I’m tired of explaining how their education didn’t keep me from feeling liberated when God gave him a “bop” by taking him off this earth when I was 20. I’m 55 now, and I still don’t want to deal with people who think that because he was a doctor he was great. The rest of my family is either dead or distant, so I don’t have to deal with them unless they inflict themselves on me, which thankfully is rare. I guess what I’m trying to get to is that there are people in this life that aren’t going to support you or like you no matter what you do, so you just have to do what is right for you. I had that epiphany at 18, when my father sneered at my decision to drop science and aim for law school. Most parents would be proud, but not mine. So stay strong and be yourself. As long as you can look yourself in the face in the mirror in the morning that’s all that matters.

  2. Suzi - August 11, 2014 11:21 am

    Thank you! There are some people I wish would die, a rather painful death too. Like the guy I sat next to on a Hawaiian Air flight for 10 hours who assaulted me because he thought he was entitled to half my “legroom” and all of the “shared” armrest. He elbowed me in the side, crossed his legs and banged his foot on my knee, and stood up stomping at my feet which were under the seat in front of me. I told the flight attendant, who asked me why I didn’t get out of my seat more and walk around. Because I paid for the seat, dumbo, that’s why. Because it’s a redeye flight and I’d like to get some sleep, moron. Only after I insisted did her supervisor move ME. I think that guy either had a relationship with Hawaiian Air or with the flight attendant, that’s how much they were kissing his behind. Then I complained to customer service. They said sorry, we hope you give us another chance, we’ll learn for next time. Feh. No incentives to try them again, no compensation for my being battered, nothing. Then I tweeted them. They poofed my tweet and referred me to the same customer service rep who said she closed the matter and she wasn’t going to do anything else. I still have nightmares about being jostled and beaten in my sleep. As far as I’m concerned they can all die slowly, while being tortured with my episode replaying for them in an endless loop. Though I’m not a confrontational person by nature – I prefer for people to realize they’re not being nice and change out of the goodness of their hearts and realization of justice – some people are just not going to do the right thing. Most time they’re strangers, but sometimes they’re related to you, and you end up living with it because of the pressure to “be nice” or the idea that you’re “supposed to love” these haters. But that’s for another day and another post. Thank you again for validating my feelings that I don’t have to think the best for everybody – some people just don’t deserve that!

  3. Thangavelu - August 11, 2014 7:01 pm

    First of all I would like to come to the point of Suzi. I do trust humans to behave like humans. But lol’ we are disappointed with their wrong attitudes / things. We only come across too selfish and too self centered personalities.

    Nowadays, there are no humanitarian behaviours with anybody, but humanitarian behaviours are what we expect in our family life and social life, to find happiness.

    We do need some time and privacy for ourselves to realise whom we are and expect the same from this physical world.

    According to my experience with this life, for the past 30 years, you just needed only money to make the people around you to keep praising you and do all the bull shits that you want.

    Expecting some honour / respect / being human cannot be expected from the fellow beings of the present.

    So I would strongly suggest, like Al-Dan says, fuck them off forever and look forward and go ahead in your life, even if we have to hurt someone on the move (but that will not be a real hurt to them).


    Hi Tan, hope I am correctly calling you, as a friend. what kind of a person you are man? Taking things so lightly and going ahead. I have never come across such a guy with enough guts to be ther. Of course, I am also trying to follow your path since couple of weeks. Though there are many self development programs and other development mails I do receive, I have subscribed you by accident and I am being more powerful in facing my life’s situations so easliy, that I have never been all these years. Cha’ O. Keep rocking man. Will try to follow you closely, even if I am not, My wishes for all your good work, though your language is a kind of more practical.

    Be always realistic.

    Thanks and Best Regards,

    NB: Any comments / critics eagerly awaiting at my mail:

  4. James - August 12, 2014 1:19 pm

    I have followed you for a while Alden. I like your honesty. I like a lot of things that you post on here.

    Believe when I say this, I am not hating, more so trying to give a little perspective.

    My favorite quote from you comes in your “about me” page.

    “Anyway, the event changed my life forever. I realized it was essential to do what I love in life and… stop being so pissed off all the time. Yeah, I was a really angry dude back then, ironic as that sounds.”

    It is ironic to me, because I feel like your posts have become angrier over time. Again, that’s just an observation and I understand that you relate with the no-bullshit, don’t give a fuck attitude. I also relate with that attitude more than once in a while.

    It feels like something as small as someone talking about the movie behind you, or someone having fun really pisses you off. Yes those two things can be annoying, but often people just don’t realize they’re screwing up someone’s experience. And I think the best route in that situation is to turn around and kindly remind them that they shouldn’t be ruining the movie. Why? Because then you’ll be able to enjoy the movie, the thing you really want to do.

    And even if they don’t stop, I don’t feel the right attitude should be “well fuck them”, because that attitude screws up your life. You become pissed, and they are still having fun. You will feel stronger if you don’t let that crap affect you, and still enjoy the movie. To me, that attitude rings more true with that quote from your “about me” page.

    That’s my opinion anyways. I’ve learned a lot from you to add into my life, and I just wanted to give my two cents back. Hopefully I’ve conveyed the message I wanted to in a non-judgemental, helpful advice kinda way.

  5. KB - August 18, 2014 10:37 am

    I thought your article about the monster in us all was on point. The notion of what is considered “nice” has completely changed and depends on the context. For example, on social media “nice” is “liking” and “sharing” “retweeting” posts. Even if we don’t necessarily care for the photo or post, we do it anyway so that we appear “nice” so that hopefully your “niceness” will be reciprocated. Usually that kind of fake nice doesn’t work because people are extremely selfish to give back.

    • alden - September 3, 2014 6:37 am

      And nice people all have their ugly side. It’s just timing.

  6. Ennaoj - November 26, 2014 6:09 am

    I think I am a monster! I feel tired acting I am nice!


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