Let’s fuck self-help up

I’ve been to courses, seminars, watched online video courses and scoured forums, all under the umbrella of personal development and becoming a better person in life.

And you know what annoys me?

It’s all the big and weird words are that used to portray the simple message of becoming a better person.

Let me illustrate:

I was at a course a couple of years ago. I asked a friend, who went for it before what she thought of it.

She replied, “My world shifted”.


Seriously? Your entire WORLD shifted?

I was rather taken aback.

It’s like, sometimes I just got to ask, “Is there a need to exaggerate and make a big deal out of growing and becoming a better person?”

Shifting of worlds isn’t just it. Want more?

Let’s see. I’m laying’em all out:

List of phrases and words I want to ban

Paradigm shift                                  World-class

Ground-breaking                             “Synergized”

Enlightenment                                  Positivity influx

Illuminated                                        Universe alignment

Vibrations                                          Energy

Phase-shift                                       Mind warp

Fusion                                               Spaceship Earth (what?!)

Law of (whatever the fuck you want to call it and shit)

Oh man it just goes on and on! I’m so sick of it.

I want to say something about it. I want to fuck self-help up once and for all.

The problem with self-help

We’re getting too damn reliant on them. We forget how great we are on our own because we start believing the bullshit others say, which in turn ironically made it seem like we absolutely need to listen to others in order to become a better person.

We all have our problems. Problems suck. Challenges can be tiring. Obstacles can be a bitch sometimes. Hurdles, walls and other crap get in the way too much.

They are always here, no matter what. But why are we blowing up the solution as well?

Why are we exaggerating the shit out of positivity?

So then, people start to think there’s never a way out of their problems.

George Calin puts it PERFECTLY.


“Life is not that complicated. You get up, you go to work, eat three meals, you take one good shit and you go back to bed. What’s the fucking mystery?! And the part I really don’t understand, if you’re looking for self help, why would you read a book, written by somebody else?! That’s not self help, that’s help!

There’s no such a thing as self help…if you did it yourself, you didn’t need help. You did it yourself!”

-George Carlin

You can absolutely fucking do it yourself just because!

Yes you can. Simple. Basic capability. It’s NOT that complicated

Think about this now.

Think about how easy it is to unlock that capability in you, without all the jargon and exaggerated garbage.

The whole idea is to realize how absolutely fantastic and brilliant you already are in this unfair world that’s out to throw shit at you.

Think about how, for whatever that has been invented or whatever new problem that became not a problem, that there was SOMEONE or a group of SOMEONEs who did it all on their own first without consulting any help. That means zero talks, seminars, mastermind groups or self-help books. 

Then they were kind enough to teach you about it.

How to really help yourself

You level up.

You get up, and say you want to do something epic.

You STOP waiting for permission.

You never make apologies for yourself.

You stop whining and do something.

You move on.

You realize failure is not the end.

You open your mouth and ask.

You stop believe bullshit from others that put you down.

You experiment.

You stop worrying.

You simply just keep trying.

You follow the fuck out of your dreams man.

You stop wishing, you do it.


You also take a break now and then and go have a beer.

You take action forever.

I can go on and on.

Stop exaggerating. Don’t be too analytical, life is not that complicated. Be inspired, but don’t compare yourself to others’ success.

With simplicity, you can do wonders by just choosing to move forward. You never have to think you aren’t like “those guys”, you know, the lucky chosen few on this planet who become celebrities or those who strike the lottery.

You just keep doing it.

You follow your individual, but considered weird to others passion and get laughed at, but you’re still following your passion.

You may have written up your first poem which makes zero sense, but you still expressed yourself.

You can start a blog with next to zero visitors, but now you have your platform.

You may look like an idiot; look stupid, and that’s totally okay.

Guess what? It’s even okay to seek help from others! But it’s not like you need to pay a ton of money or seek some world-class whatever guru to level up in life. Remember, inspiration is free and always will be.

You’re small in this huge ass universe, but not that small really.

Everyone is special, so are you.

And I’m just gonna leave it as that.


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  1. Endre - February 6, 2013 1:19 pm

    Great article! Really motivating!

    • alden - February 7, 2013 5:52 am

      Peace brother

  2. Anthony Lee - February 6, 2013 2:32 pm

    AHHH….This is AWESOME!!! Dude…I literally JUST wrote an article kind of bashing self help-

    Your post is a more positive outlook on probably many similar sentiments. I love that you took this stance. I agree so whole heartedly with you on this. You don’t have to pay thousands of dollars for someone to teach you to imagine the good you want. You just need to go out there and DO IT!

    • alden - February 7, 2013 5:51 am

      AWesome dude!!! YOu and I are the same.

      Well to each his own, but for every path, it’d just go back to the same answer anyway, which is to take action.

  3. Daniel DiPiazza - February 6, 2013 3:33 pm

    Agreed, man — The Secret has a FEW good tips….but it often turns people into wishy-washy babies hoping for change rather than executing!

    • alden - February 7, 2013 5:50 am

      Oh man THE SECRET. It more or less reinforces some beliefs, but it’s packaged in such a crap way.

  4. Henry - February 6, 2013 5:53 pm

    Hey Alden,

    I haven’t been following you very long, but this is definitely the best post I’ve read so far. It feels legit, and you’re getting at the core of what it means to really help yourself.

    Because it’s not about “world shifting” voodoo magic; it’s about taking a look at your life, figuring out what you want to change, AND MAKING IT HAPPEN!

    Sometimes, we lose sight of how simple that can be. Thanks for reminding us 🙂

    • alden - February 7, 2013 5:50 am

      Hey Henry,

      You got it. SImple formula, but a lot of us miss that.

  5. Jason "J-Ryze" Fonceca - February 6, 2013 6:25 pm

    Sounds like people are lovin’ this article man 🙂 Good job 🙂

    Where’d you get the idea or inspiration for such a fresh, original post? 😉

    • alden - February 7, 2013 5:49 am

      Haha you

    • ANNA - September 1, 2015 5:23 pm

      People? You mean other self help master like you ? Its some sort of symbiotic relationship between you all to brain wash real people who dont happen to know the “secret to ultimate happines” or “didnt master empire building” yet?

  6. sara - February 6, 2013 7:25 pm

    this is an amzing topic to talk about.just what i needed the most ,i thought that to be good and motivated you need others to uplift you,and that was eye opener stuff.thanks ,you are my favorite.

    • alden - February 7, 2013 5:48 am

      Thanks Sara 🙂

  7. steffan - February 6, 2013 9:32 pm

    Saw your post on facebook, the wonder of information.. And I was like, this dude got it..

    People need to understand, the answer lies within.. You all know what to do, to go to the “next level”.. If you “Ask for advice – Or pushing trough” you will ask for it again -> And then people like me, make money of it..

    I like your advice, but ( hate advertisers..

    • alden - February 7, 2013 5:48 am

      For real! Thanks for dropping by man.

  8. ian - February 6, 2013 9:48 pm

    Awesome BS..right on!

    • alden - February 7, 2013 5:48 am


  9. Liam - February 7, 2013 3:52 am

    This blog post in itself is self help, so I don’t really see the point of all the rage and anger. If you found some form of advice to be bad advice, then file it into your mental cabinet not to follow that advice ever again, understand that other people are entitled to have opinions, not scientificly robust theories, that differ from your own, and are entitled to make money from dumb suckers who derive inspiration from placebo effect these knobs give them. If we have so little time on earth, then raging over inequalities and how some people are just so stupid and helpless is a pure WASTE OF IT. Go help yourself instead move in the direction you are meant to, like suggested in this blog post.

    • alden - February 7, 2013 5:46 am

      You just missed the point lol

  10. Much - February 7, 2013 9:23 am

    what an ignorant article…

    Life is that simple isn’t it? Haha… we’re all gonna be rich and happy.

    NO, dude, a “life” is not about “going to work, eat three meals, take a shit, and go to bed”… that’s what a BORING life look like.

    Self help is easy to demean, because there is so much junk in there… lots of fake gurus.

    But what it’s really about is change: Change from one state that you don’t like to another that you like. And it’s about consciousness – from doing what others tell you to do/ what you’re supposed to do… to what YOU WANT TO DO.

    Without “self help”, I wouldn’t have had: friends, money, dates, confidence, self esteem, discipline, desire to achieve interesting things, and a desire to help other people and change the world.


    • alden - February 7, 2013 9:55 am

      At least you know for yourself how to put it simply 😉

      • Anthony Lee - February 9, 2013 5:32 am

        Kudos to you for handling the haters with such eloquence. I got my fair share of flame over the one I wrote too. If there is anything to be said about the self-help industry, its that it sure does have an army of some serious zealots.

        • alden - February 9, 2013 4:13 pm

          Haha well, to each his own way of learning. I respect that, but…. sometimes they just make it way too easy 😛

  11. JamZx - February 8, 2013 3:15 am

    Man this article is awesome. Thing is, the topic is obvious but with so much marketing reinforcing the belief of people having the long solution that seems to never complete and never end, I even fell for this crap of reading too much about other rather than stick to reallity. Thanks.

    • alden - February 8, 2013 10:44 am

      For real man thanks! Spread it.

  12. DAVEBURNEY - March 18, 2013 3:28 pm

    Epic. Thanks for sharing. I’ve been trying to figure out how to say the exact same thing for quite some time.

    • alden - March 19, 2013 5:24 am

      Go for it 🙂

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  15. Lisa - April 30, 2014 2:59 am

    It is so exciting to read someone’s view that is filled with honesty and passion. I share the same perspective, that the power is already in you, you just have to believe in yourself. Life is as simple as we make it and simple does NOT equal boring!

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  18. Thomas B - May 21, 2015 12:52 pm

    Great article Dude !
    It’s so true, since I began this fucking self help trip with those fucking self help book, I was doing less and less, always seeking fore more self help information, always wandering If I was doing the right thing, with the right attitude, if I said the rights words. Always fucking analyzing everything.
    It just completely fucked me up like an addiction.
    Now you Know What ?! I Just say FUCK IT !

    Thank u Dude !
    Fucking bless u !

  19. anthony - September 23, 2015 8:19 pm

    lol like every one else I think I mostly agree with the sentiment. not falling into self-help scams – I think the only point you’re possibly missing and not honoring in your post is that some people simply need the help. some things are easier said than done and I wouldn’t be in the place I am now if it wasn’t for the wisdom of other people in my life, or books or seminars or whatever. I’ve never paid for anything I didn’t feel was worth it. but sure, there are so many scams in the world and those taking advantage of someone emotionally fragile surely make the list. I would say… “fuck looking outside of yourself for answers, take advice with a grain of salt and apply what matters to you – not what other people say should matter to you”

    I do love buzzwords and big vocabulary to be able to express particular thoughts so I disagree there 😉 paradigm shift? fucking love it. lmao you would hate to have a conversation with me.

  20. iffat - January 7, 2016 6:59 pm

    AMAZING!!I love the built in frustation you have inside of you…from all those experiences that at the end made you realize that it was all bullshit.
    I wish i could have got this blog 2 years before.


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