I’ve been living a lie

Totally messed up man.

I haven’t been myself lately in this blog. For that, I apologize.

Two painful opinions

Two of my readers, Coach Comeback and Mark Bowness even gave me their honest and painful feedback.

Coach Comeback: “The first time I arrived at your blog I was like, “Wow! This guy’s the real deal. He’s a badass”. I even showed it to my girlfriend immediately. And when your new design came, I felt like you sold out. You became safe and became like all the other personal development blogs”.

Mark Bowness: “I came to your blog and read everything you had. I was inspired and always looked forward to your emails. And when I saw the affiliate links I was like, “I didn’t sign up for this”.

Those two hit me hard.

Now, don’t start thinking of them as judgemental and dismissive.

They’re both RIGHT, to a certain extent. They’ve truly helped me a lot and I know it’s because of them I’ll experience success much faster.

Reasons why I haven’t been myself

It was actually a learning journey

For real man. If you read up my evolution leading up to this blog revamp, I’ve been trying to learn a lot.

Last year, I was blogging like a lost dog. I was writing up random shit in the field of personal development in hopes of making you happy, which was too broad.

I studied, read, researched and devour all kinds of books, courses, tutorials and eBooks on marketing and business. I now know the importance of narrowing down my focus and defining my audience.

And yeah, in between learning concepts, theories and what’s “right”, I kind of lost my unique voice.

I had to keep testing and finding out what works

Yep. From reading up what was right and learning from the experts, I wanted to experiment.

Thing is, I lacked the confidence to do them on my own unique way. I ended up using some email templates, blog formats even to dish out content.

Hence, if you’re on my list, you’d have seen some emails promoting some affiliate products, and they did not sound like at me at all.

They gave me mixed results at best.

Finding ultimate balance

I STILL think it’s important to learn concepts and apply them to my blogging, which to me is a business now.

But yeah, I want to balance it out and bring back my old, badass, don’t-give-a-fuck-what-you-think self.

I will.

Balance will be restored.

I’m a little tired from learning so much sometimes and I want to have fun with this.

There won’t be any more unauthentic bullshit from me.



P.S. Could you help me out? 

It would help me a great deal if you answer the following:

1) Why do you visit my blog?

2) What’s the most important thing I can help you with? 

Just leave your answers in the comments or shoot me a reply if you want it private

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  1. Mark Bowness - February 6, 2013 12:55 am

    Ohhh dude, you absolute rock. Your vulnerability shines and it is through your vulnerability that we connect with you and are inspired to become even greater. Thank you for sharing your awesome journey with us, it rocks!

    • alden - February 7, 2013 5:52 am

      Thank YOU for coming by man. Your first email to me was a major pick me upper.

  2. Coach Comeback - February 6, 2013 2:25 pm

    Dang! It sounds like I’m an ass when you put it in print! lol Well that’s what you get with real friends. We don’t just fluff you up and tell you want you want to hear. If your shit stinks, a real friend will tell you to get your smelly ass in the shower!

    It was just me giving you my personal opinion of MY experience. I am sure other readers will have a different view.

    I will just say one thing…

    Being authentic should not feel like it is something you have to “add” or conform in your writing. It is just… YOU. You want it to flow. Raw and unedited… at least in the first draft. Even try voice recognition like Dragon Naturally Speaking and talk your posts out. That’s how you will see your true voice. How you talk in your normal life when you are out with friends.

    Because that is how most of the readers like me feel…. Like just being here reading your experiences that you share with us, that we become part of your family. And it feels more “real” when you talk to us that way.

    That’s what I love about your site. Stay you… Stay Raw!

    • alden - February 7, 2013 5:51 am

      Yes… your comment… ARE YOU HAPPY NOW JAMES?!?!? ARE YOU!??!

  3. Toby - February 7, 2013 12:18 am

    I came here from because I saw you had a cool header and optin, pretty edgy. The first comment you got from the coach was spot on. Definitely prefer the original design. Regarding the second though, there’s nothing wrong with recommending stuff with an affiliate link. If someone gets bent out of shape because you make a good offer to the demographic you’re targeting, then their not the type of people you need on your list.

    Best wishes.

    • alden - February 7, 2013 5:47 am

      Hey Toby,

      Thanks for your input. But well, this design has a purpose, and it’s here to stay. The old one was me yes, but it was all over the place. Wasn’t great for business.

  4. Aditya - February 7, 2013 1:49 pm

    Well, I come here for Self confidence and how to ignore shit and like you say, be a ‘rockstar. I must admit, I too was quite pissed with the thetaoofbadass affiliates but after all blogging is a kind of business to you, isn’t it?

    Anyway, you risen above your weaknesses and look how well you came through!


    • alden - February 7, 2013 3:50 pm

      All part of learning man 😉

  5. John @ Fearless Men - February 11, 2013 11:12 pm

    1) Why do you visit my blog?
    You’re personal, vulnerable, authentic and share from the heart.

    2) What’s the most important thing I can help you with?
    Just keep writing like yourself.

    I did notice the change and I subciously found myself not coming back as frequently. It did seem you lost some of your “vocie” so I’m glad it’s coming back. It takes a real man with healthy self-confidence to be able to accept criticism, learn from it and move on. Congrats on being on of those men!

    • alden - February 13, 2013 5:14 am

      Thanks John!

      Ugh that honesty hit me hard lol. It was a learning process for sure. Glad I went through it. This blogging thing is hard, especially when business and marketing are involved.

  6. Shaun Hoobler - March 12, 2013 6:51 pm

    I mainly come here for your honesty and courage to say out loud what other people think, but do not dare to ask. I think that you can help me to learn about myself and life through other people’s experiences and thoughts.

    • alden - March 14, 2013 5:54 am

      That’s awesome!

      You’ve given me an idea too.

  7. Pingback: You need to go “all in” when finding the right people in life | Alden Tan

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