Alden-tan.com

Interview with God: The almighty on Facebook who actually saves lives

I actually feel honoured right now. I managed to snag an interview with God himself.

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Okay on the real, it’s God on Facebook. Just do a search. The page has a million likes. He’s crude, offensive, funny as hell (haha) but full of love.

Truly, I’m glad to be able to contact this guy. Set aside your convictions for a bit, have some fun and you’ll know how cool this guy is.

1) Hey God! First off, tell us a little about the dude behind the page and how did you come up with the idea of God on Facebook.

GOD: I created the Universe a long time ago, you might have heard about that. I decided to create a Facebook page so I could polish My Image and rebuild My Brand.

2) From your Facebook page it shows that you promote love for everything and everyone. What is your view on religion today?

GOD: Religions are run by humans, which is why they are so flawed. Every now and then a good person comes around. Pope Francis is certainly doing his best to fight the system. When Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin hate you, you know you’re on the right track.

3) So how do you stay positive in this noisy world filled with different ideas and bad people?

GOD: It’s difficult, but there are a lot of wonderful and good people in the world. It’s just that about 20% are stubbornly stupid or deranged.

4) How do you personally try to spread the “love” then?

GOD: I try to make positive posts from time to time. I also try to answer as many messages as possible with solid advice.

God's creation

Some of God’s new creations

5) I’ve seen the haters on your page man. Overly zealous people think you’re blasphemous. Did you ever think that you were crossing the line?

GOD: What line? I’m God, I can do and say whatever I want.

6) How do you deal with all the insults then?

GOD: It depends. Sometimes I insult them back, sometimes I try to reason with them, and sometimes I just tell them I love them. This makes them even madder, for some reason.

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7) But yet, you save lives. People suffering from depression or those who are suicidal contact you. That’s amazing. How does that make you feel?

GOD: I hope that it makes a difference. Honestly, at the end of the day people are going to do what they want, no matter what you tell them. Hopefully a kind word of advice is more meaningful to them because it’s coming from Me, the LORD thy God.

 

God lovers

The good lord saves!

8) What do you think people can do for themselves to lead a fulfilling and happy life?

GOD: Think critically. Listen to people when they’re desperately trying to help you. Don’t be ashamed to get some therapy. You all need it, all of you.

9) You’ve got over a million likes on your page! That’s crazy! Could you share with us how you manage to do that?

GOD: I’m God. This makes Me perfectly funny and wise. People tend to respond to that.

 

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By far my most favourite exchange LOL

10) Any plans for the future? Speaking? A book perhaps?

GOD: Yes, I am working on a book called ‘Ask God, Volume 1.’ This will be the best questions and answers from the page thus far.

Aight guys, I hope you enjoyed that shit. I too, think that whatever your religion is, you ought to be respectful towards others. Don’t fucking take life so seriously, have some fun and help others when you can. If not, you’re a douche, regardless of whatever god you believe in. Plain and simple. You can check out his page here.

Right now God is going through a bit of a  problem as his mom recently passed away right before Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, the life insurance policy which was going to pay for his house was cancelled by her four months before her death. His dad, a retired minister who spent his whole life helping others now has to bear the burden of everything.

God needs help. He has started a crowdfunding campaign to help send his dad for the vacation of his life. *Update: Right now the campaign has reached its goal. It’s really amazing to see the power of the internet plus great people all around.

 

God' indiegogo

Click on image

More importantly guys, I want to really encourage y’all to check out his crowdfunding campaign. God may be a god on Facebook, but he can definitely use a helping hand himself. Yes, that’s how powerful and awesome you, a mere human being can be. You can help God. Helping is always cool.

Seriously, you can make a difference. Contributions start from $5. *The campaign has managed to hit its goals. God’s dad can go on vacation. It’s awesome. It’s a great thing IMO, but you can still contribute if you wish to.

I’ve personally contributed myself. I really wanted to help, plus yeah, to get in contact with God. So go. No excuses. Be awesome and help. Go to here to check out the campaign.

Do you want more honest-as-fuck stories like this?

79 comments

  1. Obaakate - December 6, 2013 12:32 pm

    If really he’s god, let him appear to me physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally & grant me all my desires now.

    Reply
    • Krista - December 6, 2013 9:24 pm

      That’s not what God is supposed to do, spiritually and whatnot. God’s there to let you know that there is something larger than yourself in this world.

      Reply
    • Babooshka - December 17, 2013 7:47 pm

      God won’t do all that, what you need is a Genie (although there is a 3 wish limit).

      Reply
      • Sean - December 17, 2013 8:01 pm

        More Genies!

        Reply
    • katfish - December 17, 2013 9:01 pm

      Obbakate … god does not respond to such arrogance with anything other than swift karmic justice. bet you stubbed your toe within 1 day of that ludicrous challenge.

      Reply
      • ian - December 17, 2013 11:50 pm

        yeah thats god’s vengeance alright a stubbed toe

        Reply
        • Speely - November 28, 2014 6:03 pm

          He has lightened up an awful lot since the Old Testament.

          Reply
    • cheryl - December 18, 2013 12:13 am

      Obbakate……………..when did your God last appear to you physically and grant you everything your heart desires Phttt.

      Reply
    • Laserchalk - December 18, 2013 9:59 am

      God doesn’t work like that. After following him on Faceboook you will feel truly in touch with him. That is the moment you will know he is God.

      Reply
  2. Kevin Cole - December 7, 2013 2:18 am

    The sharkhorse is the essence of badass.

    Reply
  3. sid - December 7, 2013 3:42 am

    I used to like this page until the admin decided to use his goodwill and fame to collect money to pay for useless shit like a holiday. i can draw parallels with the catholic church’s humble beginnings.

    Reply
    • alden - December 7, 2013 11:23 am

      If you’re so negative such that you need to draw parallels, keep doubting people and shit, then I pity you. Sometimes you ought to take the step, believe and have a little faith that people for once, are doing something good. That’s real faith.

      I’ve talked to the guy. He’s legit. When the campaign is over he can easily verify everything, not that he really needs to explain himself to low lives like you.

      Reply
      • Dave - December 17, 2013 7:41 pm

        In fairness I can understand why people might be doubtful. It really doesn’t mean a person is a lowlife if they have doubts about it. I still love the page but I can see why some might have problems with that whole thing.

        Reply
      • Kelsta - December 17, 2013 11:35 pm

        Hey Alden, in all fairness SID is correct, what makes God’s father so special when there are hundreds of thousands of people without the use of the internet or the funds to own a computer who could well do with money to eat and buy clothes, let alone take a holiday, now he/she wants money for a vacation for his dad? Talk about abusing power for self gain…very un Christian…and i’m an atheist!

        Reply
        • Rick Martin - December 18, 2013 3:28 am

          You are the reason I hate people.

          Reply
        • Lee - December 18, 2013 4:43 am

          1) God’s father is special to God.
          2) People subscribe to God’s Facebook page.
          3) God’s Facebook page is free.
          4) God has posted about his mother’s situation.
          5) God posted up a donation campaign.

          If people that subscribe to his Facebook page wants to help out his family’s situation, then they can. There is ZERO abuse of power. There is ZERO mandatory requirement to donate.

          Heck, one of my friends opened up a donation campaign in memory of our mutual friend that passed away from Cancer some years ago. He was special to all of his friends and family and they created a web site for him. Does that mean our friend did that as an abuse of power, knowing that everyone who follows their basketball culture would probably donate and get something from it?

          No.

          I’m what people would call Atheist as well, but there is good intent here and for you to compare it equally to the Catholic church with the idea that God is abusing his power to ask for donations is just ridiculous.

          Reply
        • Lee - December 18, 2013 4:47 am

          Furthermore, what really irks me about your comment is that from the way you worded it, it seems you have absolutely NO idea the back story to all of this. Do you know what their financial situation is? Do you know how much money they spent doing their mom/wife’s funeral? Do you know what the father had to go through all these years taking care of the children, the wife and the household? You assume all God was asking is enforcing some sort of religious ideal upon others, then grant them some divine boon if they donate all for the sake of giving the dad a vacation. I am indifferent to God’s dad, but I am sure God loves his dad. So if you and Sid don’t want to help God’s family out, then don’t. No one is forcing you to. No one says you will go to Heaven if you do. No one is saying anything, but you and Sid come out and attack his campaign. Seriously?

          Reply
        • Speely - November 28, 2014 6:05 pm

          If that’s how you feel about it, you are more than welcome to not contribute to the crowdfund.

          Clearly there are enough people donating already.

          Reply
    • Hollow - December 9, 2013 3:20 pm

      It is a vacation for a man who worked hard all of his life and lost his other half, who himself has very little money. All God did was ask to see if others could find it within themselves to be generous enough to help out a man who had suffered so much. I am sure that if God could have afforded it he would have never asked for assistance. Stop being so petty and ready to dismiss a good man for needing assistance to make a loved one a little happier, or as much as they can be after having lost the love of their life. I am sure you would wish that someone would do the same for you should you ever find yourself in such a place.

      Reply
      • Natalie - December 10, 2013 11:54 pm

        Additionally God posts links to charities and such all the time. Why is one to his dad even such a big deal?

        Reply
        • alden - December 11, 2013 12:16 am

          I did not know that. And that’s awesome.

          Reply
    • Chad - December 9, 2013 3:30 pm

      to all those hating on The God page…grow up and get a sense of humor, we all know he isn’t the real God (Hell I don’t think such a thing exists) but the dude preaches love and respect something this world could use a lot more of. To all those hating on his kick starter to get funding to send his dad on vacation, bury his mom and pay off his house you really need to look in a mirror. He was/is a person truly in need and those that donated felt compassion and chose to help, He didn’t use magical powers to make them give him money. I find it interesting that people are getting mad over such virtues as Compassion, Love,& respect. I think it says more about you then it does him.

      Reply
      • alden - December 9, 2013 5:03 pm

        Thank YOU for saying this.

        Yeah. It takes a lot of hardwork to actually gather all those funds.

        Reply
      • Kelsta - December 17, 2013 11:37 pm

        It’s about abusing you power (and yes publicity and public forums is power) for self gain when there are so many in need. Plus he is now jumping on a political bandwagon, not very “god” like at all…i thought God was supposed to be understanding and accepting of all…guess the sheep will follow the Sheppard…

        Reply
        • PK Thunder - December 18, 2013 12:50 am

          He didn’t abuse his power or anything like that. He simply asked for help, and made it quite clear what the money was going to go to. He didn’t lie about it. And after that, he didn’t make all those people donate, those people freely CHOSE to donate and help someone they thought deserved a little help after helping so many others. But whatever, nothing I can say will change your ‘hater’ mind.

          Also, when has God ever been accepting of all? I mean, back in the OT he’s all about smiting and people stoning others; Leviticus is nothing but a handbook on stoning. Me thinks you really don’t know what you’re talking about Kelsta. And Alden, not many people admit when they were wrong choose to change positions accordingly; it speaks great volumes of the type of person you are, and it’s good. My hat’s off to you Alden.

          Reply
        • Lee - December 18, 2013 4:52 am

          People like you make me sick. You assume everything and make a general conclusion that God is asking for donations based on his celebrity Facebook status. Do you have any clue about this entire chain of events that lead to the donation campaign? Do you even realize that there was absolutely NO false representation. He made it very CLEARLY what the donation campaign was about and why it’s happening. What’s hilariously ridiculous about your comment is that he is some guy called God and he helps people and he makes a lot of people laugh and smile, but out of the blue comes someone like you who knows a tiny little bit of the entire story, draw some wild conclusion and make up shit to justify your view of this person. Next time, before you make such a grossly inaccurate judgment of someone, first take your head out of your ass. Second, check up the entire back story and the events leading up to said event.

          Reply
    • mimsydreamer - December 9, 2013 3:39 pm

      The holiday is for his dad who just lost his wife. Do you NOT think a grieving husband who’s wife just died and her life insurance refuses to pay out deserves some time away?

      If this was you, a famous facebook celeb, and your mom died and you needed money, would you not at least try to turn to your fans? Or are fans just supposed to post sad emoticons and not care about the real person behind the page?

      Reply
      • alden - December 9, 2013 5:02 pm

        You tell’em!

        Reply
    • Joe - December 17, 2013 10:32 pm

      You obviously have no idea of the background as to why God decided to do this. He started the fund raiser because his father was not going to collect the life insurance money that he should have gotten. But if you really want to blame someone, blame the people giving the money. It always amazes me how miserable people can act sometimes.

      Reply
    • Joseph - December 17, 2013 11:43 pm

      I have to agree with you. You have to be responsible with your fame especially when it is derived from what some may mistakenly believe to be a real and actual God.

      Asking for money for personal reasons under the guise of a God hits a new low with me. Of course we all feel sorry for his father and we realize they were dealt a shitty hand but there are hundreds of thousands who are far worse off than they are and nothing makes his problems anymore important than anyone else’s.

      Reply
      • Lee - December 18, 2013 4:58 am

        Seriously? Really? EVERYONE ON HIS FACEBOOK page should know God’s Facebook page is a parody. His fame is the fact that he makes many of his subscribers laugh, smile and at times, helped. THAT is where his fame comes from. His fame does NOT come from divine powers. IT DOES +NOT+ matter what the name of his Facebook page is. It could be “David’s Facebook Page”, “Sarah’s Cooking Page”, “My Dog Victor’s Facebook Page”, “God’s Facebook Page”. The fact is, it’s someone’s Facebook page and this someone just recently went through a very sad event and knowing his situation, has asked his subscribers to donate. Do they NEED TO? NO. Are they given divine boons? NO. Are his subscribers being lied to and lead to believe the money is for something else? NO. So what’s the problem? I just don’t get people like you. Your way of thinking is so extreme and so sensitive about absolutely nothing. Some guy needs help, people like him, they have the CHOICE to donate. If they don’t, God isn’t going to send them hell or hate them.

        Reply
      • James - December 18, 2013 9:27 am

        This guy bends over backwards and spends his own time to spread a message of love and acceptance make other people feel good in their times of need and you’re going to criticize the guy when he reaches out for help in his time of need?! Fuck off and get over yourself!

        If people want to donate to him for any reason that is between him and that person. It affects you in no way, shape, or form.

        Reply
  4. Deater - December 7, 2013 3:45 am

    Funny thing is that it took three days for him to reply to that supposedly first threat for suicide. What I find even more funny is the fact that the date is not included in the screenshot in this article. The date was October 29 when he responded after her first message on October 26, I just don’t think it’s cool that that whole thing was deleted in this article. I’m all on board for the page and everything, but I think it’s silly to pretend that he’s actually doing things to save peoples lives.

    Reply
    • sid - December 7, 2013 3:55 am

      btw God blocks your from commenting or liking anything on his page if you say anything against him. All his posts are nice and inspiring but its just another silly prick sitting behind, whose finally figured out that he can use his fanbase to make some money to pay for his dads mortgage and a nice holiday because his mum passed away.

      Reply
      • alden - December 7, 2013 11:18 am

        Look at what you just said. Then go look at the mirror. Who’s the real silly prick? If anything the dude doesn’t waste his time talking about other people. He dares to put real shit up and deal with his haters head on.

        I too, will block any annoying idiot on my blog. I’ve done it before and I always will. When you’ve reached the point of having to handle a mass of people, though it’s all online, you need to learn how to man up and get rid of the real pricks.

        Can you truly tell me you can do all that?

        Reply
      • Min - December 17, 2013 7:41 pm

        Wait, you’re telling me that somebody on Facebook blocks you if you act like a jerk? How dare they do that!

        Reply
      • Laserchalk - December 18, 2013 10:02 am

        Where as churches on the other hand are truly Gods followers and the money they raise directly goes to God. They don’t use the money to build more churches and pay for their bills, they send the money directly to heaven.

        Reply
    • alden - December 7, 2013 11:21 am

      Hmm why is it so “funny” to you? It happens man. He was probably busy, just like how sometimes I take a while to reply my emails.

      How is he pretending? Did you not read the real messages? If you’re so negative like most the world and you want to dig too deep to see the bad in others, then just go hide in a room.

      Reply
    • FDB - December 18, 2013 1:18 am

      And how many people have you at least tried to help? Don’t hate on people for at least trying when you haven’t done shit compared to them

      Reply
    • Lee - December 18, 2013 5:02 am

      1) Does God get paid to answer your questions? No. 2) Does God have a job outside of his Facebook page? Probably. 3) Does God do his Facebook page full time, 24/7? Most likely not. 4) Does God sleep? Most likely yes. 5) Does God have other things to do? I’m sure he does. Sooooooo………. If it takes him 3 days…. That is surprising because……? Guess what Einstein, it normally takes me 1-2 days to get back to my clients. It usually takes me 3-5 days to get back to my friends. It usually takes me 7 days to a month to get back to the government.

      Reply
  5. Deater - December 7, 2013 3:49 am

    That being said, I love God, he is the light and the way and the truth, and freakin’ hilarious to boot. One of the best comedians of a new era and format, actually, a pioneer of this format.

    Reply
    • alden - December 7, 2013 11:19 am

      He is. He used an idea and easily turned it on us by exposing our lighter side. Don’t take life too seriously. Laugh. Have some fun. It’s all good.

      Reply
  6. Sammy - December 7, 2013 11:49 am

    “God needs help. He has started a crowdfunding campaign to help pay off the house.” – If that is true then why dose it state that it is to go on a holiday?

    This is more of a love feast than a interview.

    Reply
    • alden - December 7, 2013 4:45 pm

      He didn’t update it. You need to check out the article the article that provides the context.

      Basically, it was for his dad first to go on a much-deserved vacation. Since it was going so well and he discovered the insurance policy was cancelled, he’s pushing to raise funds fully to pay off the house now.

      Reply
      • jonah - December 8, 2013 1:45 pm

        Alden, stop being an ass kisser. youre always gonna be a failure of a writer if u keep being like this. good luck with everything

        Reply
        • alden - December 8, 2013 6:28 pm

          Keeping up what? Using my real email and daring to be myself? Unlike you who created a bullshit, offensive email and then went out in a pathetic attempt to take people down?

          Reply
      • Clyde - December 9, 2013 3:27 pm

        Look lets stop pretending. Everyone knows it is an actual person behind the page acting as if he is god for shits, and giggles. We need to stop pretending this is actually god. I also find it funny that he was only seeking 5k to send his dad on a vacation, but now he’s got over 30k. If he wasn’t in it for the money he would have stopped at 5k, but now that 400k insurance policy that isn’t going to pay he wants to try, and knock down the 80k he says is still owed on his house because his mom was the bread winner of the family. I will look for the next “crowd sourcing” thing he will do now that he knows people will give him money. As for the suicide stuff he doesn’t care. if it shows oct date, and then his reply doesnt show a date then the person could have already offed themselves. his page is for comic relief, and now he’s getting paid for it. suckers.

        Reply
        • alden - December 9, 2013 4:23 pm

          … who the fuck actually thought it was the real god in the first place? The fact that you brought up this argument proves you’re retarded.

          The fact that you’ve to nitpick on others to bring them down proves you’re an insecure person who hates his own life.

          Reply
          • Wut - December 17, 2013 7:54 pm

            Alden, you’re a hypocrit. Dont you think calling him retarded is bringing him down too? Sounds like you are just as insecure as you think he is.

        • T.J. - December 17, 2013 7:46 pm

          Really Clyde? REALLY? It’s a real person behind the Facebook page? No WAY!

          Here I thought all along it was the great heavenly father, the old man with the beard living in the clouds, who was making those posts!

          Thanks for cluing me in brother. Seriously. I know have a whole new outlook on Facebook God.

          BTW…in looking at some of these posts, coming from those who I’m sure have never checked in to Facebook God, I’m going to share the one piece of advice he, or she, gives over and over.

          “Don’t be a dick.”

          Yep..that works for me.

          Reply
  7. sid - December 7, 2013 4:31 pm

    come on alden, stop being a sheep. you make it sound like this prick is actually saving lives by pasting some phone number for a helpline. god is a prick whose finally gotten a monetary return for his humour and fame and this blogpost is a failed attempt to harpoon readers.

    Reply
    • alden - December 7, 2013 4:44 pm

      Pity you who looks deep into the little things bring others down.

      Okay, so tell me what little have you actually done that’s for others and not yourself?

      Reply
      • Clyde - December 9, 2013 3:29 pm

        Aldeb you really need to get off God’s balls. unless he is cutting you in on that 30k.

        Reply
        • alden - December 9, 2013 5:02 pm

          Sorry. Money isn’t everything to me. Get the fuck out of this blog and go rob a bank or something.

          Reply
  8. Sebastian - December 8, 2013 2:01 pm

    Hahahahaha why are people getting so defensive? Jesus, some people’s egos are so high… Chill man

    Reply
    • alden - December 8, 2013 6:29 pm

      I hear you.

      Reply
  9. Gabi Serna - December 9, 2013 3:49 pm

    God has been good. If anyone on here would like to do something nice for someone, please go to my wife’s blog about her experience with cervical cancer and leave some positive feedback because we could use some healing energy. Thanks. http://www.outofthecancercloset.com

    Reply
  10. Ryan - December 10, 2013 5:26 pm

    Listen, we all know that he is not “god”. Fact is, God lost his mother and really wanted to do something nice for his dad. The guy is amazing and that he chose to very meekly ask his fans for a hand, well, I like that I was able to help in a small way. If you don’t think a man who has just lost his wife and sitting rather hard up for money doesn’t deserve a time out, don’t chip in. God hasn’t been spamming his page with cries for donations, he asked and whoever chose to give did just that. The page has been up for ages and that was the only time he asked for anything. Hate the page? There is an “unlike” button.

    Reply
    • alden - December 10, 2013 6:40 pm

      Wise words 🙂

      Reply
  11. Alyssa - December 17, 2013 7:51 pm

    For those complaining about him not responding quickly enough to someone’s cry for help considering suicide, if you went on the page & read them, he also provides information for the suicide hotline. And for the donations, he didn’t force anyone to send money. No one had to. They chose to. And he has done a lot of good, so why can’t we return the favor to him and others?? This guy behind the page accepts & respect those that do good & those that have done no wrong. Unlike most humans nowadays. Most of us Christians believe in a book that has no voice, that is just printed words on paper. The only differences I see, is that there is a guy with a voice, who is doing good and cracking jokes on the computer & preaching love and acceptance. My “bible thumping” grandma thought the page was great. Stop being so negative about a guy who is trying to do good in life. If it were under his real name, no one would listen. So, he used God. Oh well. Get over it. Stop being jerks & go do some good in the world.

    Reply
  12. Matt - December 17, 2013 7:53 pm

    It really says something about the world we live in when an individual, who chooses to remain anonymous, to act in a comical fashion, for the betterment of others, is chopped down by those individuals who adhere to a faith, yet do not practice what’s preached. When the basic virtues of truth, compassion and love are superseded by greed, malevolence and hate, and readily accepted as those virtues that are commonly acceptable in the world, there’s a problem. Like God said, “When Rush and Palin hate you…”

    Reply
  13. GOD IS GREAT - December 17, 2013 8:01 pm

    OMG guys the person behind this page has gone to the great extend of copy pasting suicide hotlines to people who want to ‘kill’ themselves ergo he deserves all the money from his crowdfunding campaign and t shirt sales for this chivalry and selflessness.

    Reply
    • Joe - December 17, 2013 10:44 pm

      So, you’re complaint is that someone with over a million likes takes time out of his day to address people who are asking for help? Oh, but he ONLY copy pastes a suicide hotline number. Cause he should fly in and magically make someone’s life better instead. And forget that he merely asked for people to do his dad a service in helping him get money to replace life insurance that was unfairly not given to him. I’ll never understand you whiny, butt hurt people.

      Reply
    • Laserchalk - December 18, 2013 10:06 am

      Actually that is more help than I actually got from the supposedly real god in my time of need.

      Reply
  14. Jeremy - December 17, 2013 8:51 pm

    You people are a trip! Who cares if he’s getting money just because he’s popular on Facebook? At least he’s not going on stage with his tongue hanging out like a freak, having sex with peices of demolition equipment and shit! I bet you’re glad to give her your money.

    Reply
    • alex - December 17, 2013 9:18 pm

      To be fair, I would also give money to s tripper doing exactly that. 🙂

      Reply
  15. alex - December 17, 2013 9:17 pm

    Keep up the good work God. Let the haters hate. From Fiji with love.

    Reply
  16. JuicyJane - December 17, 2013 9:23 pm

    you all need to chillax ppl its a funny page and ppl want to give him money coz it makes em feel good…

    Reply
  17. CHRISTOPHER - December 17, 2013 9:59 pm

    “Haters” are what used to be called “cynics.”
    Oscar Wilde defined a cynic as someone who knows the price of everything, but the value of nothing. (My paraphrase – so as to avoid accusations of sexism or misogyny. Haha)!
    Any cynics out there who think I am making this up, just visit this page:

    http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/390191-what-is-a-cynic-a-man-who-knows-the-price

    Keep up the good work, God!

    Reply
  18. Jack - December 17, 2013 10:00 pm

    I swear, people will hate on anything these days, he spends his days trying to make the world a little better and brighter for some people, and provides laughs for others…he hits a shitty patch, asks for 5k from his MILLION fans (Who all have the ability to say no, mind you.), which would mean cents on the dollar for him to reach that, and because his grateful fans helped him smash that goal…he’s somehow taking advantage of them?

    Some people will reach for whatever straws they can so they can be douchey on the interwebs.

    Reply
  19. Tristan - December 17, 2013 10:43 pm

    The dude is a legend. Hilarious and loving and he pulls it off perfectly. Every single individual who contributed to the holiday fund did so of their own free will because they appreciate what he does for them, and what he and his dad are going through. The cynicism is ridiculous; the number of dickheads making far, far more money than he has for far more questionable reasons and in far more unethical ways is astounding, and people are getting upset because he’s raised money in a humble way to help his dad? Lay off FFS.

    Reply
  20. Joe - December 17, 2013 10:45 pm

    This is easily one of my favorite fb pages. When the page first began, I believed it was going to be a cynical one, making fun of the religious and God itself. But then fb God displayed a good nature and an effort to help people and it became something genuine. The posts are really funny and enjoyable. The writer behind it certainly is very talented and keeping in character is great. FB God is exactly what the internet needed.

    Reply
  21. Eric Metze - December 17, 2013 11:44 pm

    So, I heard a rumor that God on Facebook is Seth Rogan. It makes sense, really…

    Reply
    • If By Yes - December 18, 2013 6:06 am

      Seth Rogan’s Dad would not be in danger of losing his house, though!

      Reply
  22. If By Yes - December 18, 2013 6:11 am

    It baffles me when people are so offended by other people willingly donating their money to help a cause.

    It especially baffles me when those same people are irate Christians. As Facebook God would point out:

    Matthew 5:42 – Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.

    Besides, since when is it wrong for an entertainer to ask for money?

    After all, when I went to see John Pinette, I had to pay, like, 80 bucks to see him perform.

    God has made me laugh and smile many times for free. I was happy to donate $5 to help him out.

    Cheapest comedy ever. And I got a warm glow for helping.

    Reply
  23. Holly - December 18, 2013 6:18 am

    I feel the need to speak up to everyone who has been complaining that God’s father shouldn’t receive any kind of charity for his situation.

    First of all… it’s been said over and over, but if you don’t believe in the cause, then don’t donate. Go make a donation to a cause that you sympathize with instead. That would be a great way to convert all of your negative feelings toward Facebook God into positive energy.

    Second of all… if you think a retired widower has no need for charity, you have absolutely no perspective on this type of loss. It’s not your fault that you don’t have the perspective, of course, but I would like to offer you some. My dad passed away almost 10 years ago. My mom was still working and making a small but decent living. All of that went to hell once my dad was gone. He didn’t have a life insurance policy anymore, and had spent all of his money on alcohol in his last few months of life. We inherited nothing but debt.
    Funeral costs are in the ballpark of $10,000. A casket alone is $1000 at least, unless you opt for the $150 “pine box”, which is exactly what it sounds like.
    Paying off a house is difficult enough when you’re married and have two sources of income. It becomes next to impossible when you’re suddenly single and living paycheck to paycheck.
    Most people rely on life insurance as part of their budget. My parents did, before my dad suddenly cancelled his policy. Not that suicide may have been covered, anyway.
    All this considered, that still wasn’t the end of the suffering for my mother. It affected every relationship in her life. She was depressed, stressed, fearful of the future…. She lost her husband, the man she was supposed to be with for her entire life, the man she raised children with. This is a loss you don’t expect to deal with at 40-something years of age. You hope and pray that you never, ever have to deal with this.
    Would you say that this woman didn’t deserve a vacation? That she didn’t deserve money to have time to get away from the dread of being home, knowing my father would never be there again? That she she didn’t deserve money to retreat and to escape from the horrible reality of her situation, even temporarily?
    My mother scarcely received the charity she so desperately needed just to get by financially. She was still in debt for a very long time. She still might be – she’s very stubborn and would never tell me so. My uncle paid for part of the funeral costs. He was well off and was extremely kind to do this. The rest of my family is not so fortunate, and thus started an ad in the paper to take donations for my brother and I’s college funds. They raised a few hundred dollars within our community.
    Our family has recovered, but we lost far more than we could ever regain. Can you imagine how long it was before my mother was able to take a vacation again? If my community had raised more money, in the same way that God’s page did, and we had been able to fully fund the funeral, the cost of our home, and even the cost my brother and I’s education… we would have been stunned, thankful, overwhelmed with compassion and joy. We could have moved on so much faster. We could have felt hopeful. My mother’s stress may have been lessened, such that she didn’t suffer the way she did for years afterward in her personal, financial, and work life.
    Our appeal to our community was an act of desperation. If God had raised money only by asking within his hometown, would everyone be accusing him/her of exploitation?
    If I’d had the Internet presence that God does back then, of course I would have started a campaign for my mother. Of course. Am I starving? Am I homeless? No, I can’t say I am. That’s not the point, though, is it? Perhaps, when I have the money, I intend to give back to my fellow man, my community. Perhaps there’s something to be said for showing compassion to others, instead of criticizing their hardships. Perhaps if the many people who saw God’s father’s plight – a lonely widower living off of his pension, now forced to pay for the costs of a funeral he thought he would receive life insurance for – show this same kind of compassion to their family, friends, community members… they are making the world a better place.
    I would never wish the same burdens my mother had to endure on anyone, and so, I am grateful to the many people across the Internet who aided in healing the suffering of an entirely anonymous family, out of the goodness of their hearts.

    For those who have experienced a similar loss, and are bitter or jealous because they suffered extremely and received no charity, I am so sorry to all of you. You deserved help, you may still need and deserve help, and perhaps this will show you that it is not impossible to receive it. Perhaps make an appeal on God’s Facebook page. I hope that you can heal, and learn to feel happy for others even when you can’t be happy yourself.

    Reply
  24. solitha - December 18, 2013 9:39 am

    I don’t really get the vitriol back and forth.

    I adore God on Facebook. If I thought he was the real deal I’d so not be atheist anymore; he’s a God I could get behind and cheer.

    As a person, though? No one knows anything at all about the person. We don’t even know if it’s a male or a female. We don’t know if it’s just one person. God has kept a careful in-character veil between himself and his fans.

    And I don’t have a problem with that. It just makes it more fun.

    But when the veil is parted, just a little, and then a monetary request is made… well, I step back. It sets off little alarm bells. And I think, yes, I’ve seen this before, haven’t I?

    Once upon a time I played on a MUD (a text-based online game). It had several admins, one of whom was in charge of the proceeds from players using one of the old revenue-generating ad programs that were prolific at the time. One day, we were informed via a posting on the game that this particular admin, named Autumn, had died IRL. The poster said he was her husband, that she’d been killed due to complications after being hit by a DWI. He said that before she died, she’d expressed a desire to make sure the game remained funded, but he also stated he hoped to tap into that fund to send their children to college, to make up for the loss of Autumn’s income.

    We were rocked. I, quite literally, cried, and I’m sure others that worked closer with Autumn did too. Then, someone questioned……

    The posting, saying it was her husband, was remarkably similar to her typing and spelling. People, including me, started digging into “his” story. Her town was discovered, and a conspicuous lack of an obituary, or even any story about a major DWI accident (it was a small town). Nothing. No evidence of Autumn’s death was ever found or offered.

    Ever since then, I’ve turned a very skeptical eye towards such claims, especially where the person making the claim has something to gain… be it pity or money.

    God did publicly offer to speak to a reputable reporter who could verify all his story. I’d like for that to happen; I’d like to know I can believe in his honesty. Until it happens, however, I have to shake my head when people just swallow the story whole, and then vehemently defend it against any who question it… as if they know God personally, his mom, his dad, his brother, and can actually verify anything we’ve been told.

    I suppose it’s the ultimate in irony that it all comes down to faith, is it not?

    Reply
  25. alden - December 19, 2013 12:57 am

    Okay y’all, there’s definitely a lot of views on God, what he does behind the page and the intentions behind the campaign itself.

    I won’t comment or argue against your views, not anymore at least. The ones I did, sorry, you guys were too stupid too ignore.

    But here’s a few questions to ponder over. Not argument or even opinions, just questions:

    1) Is it so hard to have a little faith that someone online wants to do something good for his own dad? Just a *little* faith and belief, rather than going the other direction. Is it that hard?

    2) Is it so hard to let loose a little on life, and just enjoy the humour of God’s FB page? Life need not be taken so seriously.

    3) Do you remember that whether you want to contribute to the campaign is entirely up to you right?

    Unlike some organizations, churches even, this God doesn’t use any hard sell bullshit tactics to get to your wallet. In fact, his campaign description is one of the most minimal ever.

    4) For all the religious peeps out there, why do you have to assume immediately that this God is a Christian one?

    Do you know that this assumption is what made get all defensive and shit?

    5) Even if you feel offended, angered or pissed, has it ever crossed your mind to step it up and be like, “Oh even though I’m pissed, I won’t react. I’m just gonna be mature about it and let it slide”??

    Just questions boys and girls. Just questions 😉

    Reply
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