Ignorance is part of trust

183 - M56hp9k

Whenever I hear couples talking about the issue of “trust” in relationships, it ALWAYS goes along with the argument of how trust is but a mere feeling or that trust a state where you’re 100% sure of what’s going on around with your partner.

Nah! People talk like trust is a state of denial, and that’s sad.

Well to a certain extent I agree, but let me expand on this shit:

Ignorance is part of trust.

You absolutely cannot be 100% sure about what’s going on around with your partner.

Why? Because! It’s simply impossible to be physically by her side 24 hours, 7 days a week.

That being said, that’s definitely going to be a “blind” time where you can’t be with him, or her. You won’t know what’s going on.

And is that a bad thing? No it’s not. It’s life. That’s all. You cannot control everything in life. Case closed. Get over it.

If you want to try to control everything in life, then you’re setting yourself up for a huge disappointment. If you want to control everything your partner does, then you’re going to be one of those annoying and lame couples who log into each other’s Facebook or email accounts to check up on shit.

That is NOT a healthy relationship at all. If you’re doing that, I suggest you re-evaluate the relationship because both you and I know you aren’t happy.

Ignorance is a good thing. Ignorance in life is here to stay. Don’t bother fighting it. Now, all you got to do is use ignorance to your advantage. Treat it like an adventure. Embrace uncertainty. Willingly take on challenges and keep having fun. If you try to anticipate everything, you’re just going to be all anxious, nervous and shit. That’s also called paranoia. Even the fittest of people out there know that counting calories isn’t the way to go.

You’re going to be my like many of my ¬†friends who log in their ex’s (pfft, not even their current partner) Instagram account and get super upset over some stupid picture they post. Then they get paranoid when some unknown idiot likes the pic. What! What kind of life is that?!

Many people ask me how I handle my long-distance relationship. “What if she cheats on you?”, “What if she talks to some guy?”, “What if she’s lying to you?” and it goes on.

The truth is: I don’t think about it at all.

I know that if I ask one question, another three or four will arise. It will never end. I decided, “Fuck it”. Then I ask myself, “Does she make me happy?” The answer is a resounding yes. Not, “Yes, but…”, “Well yes, if she… ” or “I guess so”. Yes, and only yes.

I don’t ever care about the dark. I focus on the light of love we have and I always smile when I think about it.

So don’t get all paranoid and shit and keep thinking of unlikely scenarios that don’t exist. Even if you aren’t seeing someone now, stop being so scared about possible negativity and shit. Be grateful for what you have and just be happy. Stop trying to fix what’s not broken.

Ignorance is part of trust y’all. Trust your partner. Trust yourself. Trust life.

I hope this helps.

P.S. You want more awesome goodness on trust and leading an awesome life? Check out all my books. They’re going to rock your socks off.

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  1. Jade - February 19, 2014 2:48 am

    Yes, I agree with what you said. “Ignorance is part of trust”. And yes, you cant be with your partner 24/7. But I have to add on, that trust is something fragile. You can have it now, you may not have it the next day. What if one day you accidentally found out that your partner have been cheating on you all these while? For instance, some lovey dovey message from a guy that pops out of your gf’s phone while you are holding on to your gf’s phone? Out of curiosity I am sure everyone will open up the message to read what’s going on right? And from there, you realize that your gf is actually flirting with the guy even when she’s attached with you. Yes, you can confront her. Ask her why is she doing this. She may also reply that they’re just friends. But I’m sure if one is mature enough they will be able to differentiate what is flirt and what is “just friends”. Please tell me that you will still be ignorance and not “check back on your gf”. Because I believe that trust is already broken there, and you do not feel secure thats why you have to keep checking. What if you checked, and realized that it’s not just only 1 message on the phone and that your gf have to resort to ways to hide it from you to contact the other party? From this, I dont think ignorance is the word. More of stupidity if you still trust the other party.

    • alden - February 19, 2014 6:25 pm

      Then what can heal trust that has been broken? More trust right?

  2. Jade - February 19, 2014 8:36 pm

    It doesn’t make any sense. How do you trust something that is already broken? That’s like trusting a broken plate to stick back on it’s own. Even if you trust that it will stick back on it’s own (which sounds ridiculous already), it is still visible that the cracks are there. Can we actually still ‘ignore’ the cracks?

    • alden - February 20, 2014 6:04 am

      I guess it boils back to positive thinking, moving on, focusing on the good etc… with trust.

      Honestly, if it’s too broken, then move on. No point trying to heal it then. Some books are better left closed forever.

  3. Frank T. - March 12, 2014 7:47 pm

    So simple, so insightful, and aimed directly at ME! Another great one, Alden.


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