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I went for therapy once you know…

That’s probably once of the strongest headline I ever written in this blogging career.

But it’s cool. It’s all good.

It’s all part of the new direction I have for this blog.

I emailed this announcement to my list a few days back. For those not on the list, basically, I’m going through a lot of change right now.

Blog-wise, I don’t give a fuck about marketing any more. I worried so much about making money online that I stopped enjoying myself. I just want to write.

Thus, I’m planning my first book. A real book book, mind you, not some shitty ebook where I compile a bunch of blog posts together.

Me-wise, I guess you could say I’ve gained more balls. It was a huge decision as I wonder how the lack of marketing would affect my (small) income. Then I knew it was the right thing to do. Why? Cause it meant getting out of my comfort zone, and that’s awesome.

So here it is: More personal stories from me; more shit that even makes me uncomfortable to write about. I know it’s going to be all good.

Here we go!

Yeah dawgs! I went for therapy once

A little back story: My ex-girlfriend cheated on me once. She made out with one of the ugliest fucks I ever laid eyes one. I swore back then I’d beat the shit out of him. I had all sorts of ideas on what I’d do to him.

Don’t even get me started on the amount of verbal abuse I laid out on her.

I knew then I was just too angry for my own good. I mean, I already knew I was like the angriest dude ever, and throw in that ingredient in the mix? I was fucking becoming the hulk.

The day this shit happened, I called up a couple of close friends and said, “I need to fucking drink tonight!”. And we did. Not only that. After drinking all the beers, I actually told my close friend, “Dude, I need to fucking smash shit up now”. And we went to a parking lot and destroyed all the beer bottles.

I had to fucking stop all the hate in me before I did something stupid. I had to stop waking up angry every day.

So, I chose to go for therapy.

I remember I was just simmering, like literally simmering  and feeling the after effects of another bout of extreme anger. You know, the kind where you spend many minutes thinking up nothing but angry thoughts?

It actually hurt.

Then I ran across some local guy’s blog. He was a hypno-therapist.

I was like, “Fuck it. Ima go for this shit”.

And I went.

I didn’t know a damn thing about hypnotherapy back then. I only knew it was some deep thing which tapped into your subconscious. And then upon suggestions from the therapist, you can be healed of whatever that’s ailing you.

I liked the idea. Why? Cause I felt I was so angry and messed up inside that any traditional therapy, or whatever, wouldn’t help. I thought that if I wanted a listening ear, I could just talk to my friends.

Therapy went well

It did.

For the first time in many years I felt an immense calm within me. I was taught how to breathe and also be mindful of my breathing. I was taught to imagine a better life the heart knows is possible.

If I were to surmise, it was an extreme form of meditation.

Plus, it felt really good to talk to the therapist in a pre-session meeting as he asked what was bothering me. It felt good talking to an older professional.

What happened next? I didn’t continue going for sessions. $200 a pop was a little steep for my pocket.

It was still a huge milestone for me. Taking charge of my own life, especially at such an angry time made me feel like I had things under control again.

Okay, I don’t have anything else to say about the therapy. So let me jump straight to takeaways.

1) Labels do not define you

Do you feel messed up and feel like you need help?

Then just go get help, even if it feels professional help.

Fuck it. Stop giving a shit about what others think about you just because someone decided to hurt you in an embarrassing way. Stop fucking caring about others have to say just because the solution itself has strong implications by society.

You know what’s best for you. And admitting that you need help is a good thing. Taking initiative to seek help for yourself is awesome.

Screw the rest. People who want to judge you, especially when you’re hurting are just insecure losers who don’t know what’s good for themselves.

You aren’t labelled. You’re only human. And you’re smart.

2) Experience is the only truth you need

When I told a few friends about this, they were pretty quick to tell me how hypnotherapy was a unproven practice which produce no concrete results. It doesn’t work.

Pfft. Fuck all of that man. Fuck textbooks. Fuck statistics. Fuck studies and whatever.

I didn’t need a bunch of theories and shit from the eyes and minds of others to tell me how I need to lead my life.

I only need my gut and instincts.

There’s really no point leading a life where you’re constantly told what to do.

You do whatever the hell you want to do. The experience gained is as true as it gets. Nothing else matters.

Besides, hypnotherapy, though controversial is a widely accepted practice now, where would-be therapists go for training and get certified. It’s not like it’s some cult which promised me a better life for a small fee.

Be smart.

3) You aren’t sick

You know you got a problem? Great.

You’re fucking self-aware. It’s really great.

If you know you need help and you’re actively seeking help, it’s going to be all good.

You aren’t sick. There is hope. A better life awaits.

Chin up.

You’re already miles ahead of a ton of unhappy (and judgemental) people who don’t even know why they’re unhappy.

It’s totally fine to get help man. Don’t ever forget that. 

Not getting help is the dumber thing to do. Never give up hope of a better life. It’s all good.

Care to share in the comments about the tough times you had to go through? I’m here for you.

If you want to private message me, just hit me up alden (@) alden-tan.com

Do you want more honest-as-fuck stories like this?

13 comments

  1. Guus - November 12, 2013 3:55 pm

    Yes, this is you again!

    Reply
    • alden - November 13, 2013 7:18 am

      Thanks for the shoutout and link dawg

      Reply
  2. Pingback: Self help, really?

  3. Sean - November 13, 2013 3:48 am

    Right on! I went for therapy once or twice also.

    I’ve seen some damage from labels where people get a diagnosis and that gives them the permission to be the diagnosis. “Oooh I screwed you over? Sorry that was the bipolar.”

    I hate that. I hate it when people use labels as an excuse to misbehave.

    Experience… I’ve gotten the most help not just from my own experience but from experience found in a group of friends who have similar issues to my own.

    Thanks for the honest lay it all out there post. Maybe I can learn something from you.

    Reply
    • alden - November 13, 2013 7:18 am

      Yeah that’s pretty lame of them. But for sure, they were crying for help.

      Drunk people are also like that.

      Thanks for dropping by homie.

      Reply
  4. Sebastian - November 13, 2013 6:31 am

    Hahaha I went to therapy once. I swear those people are crazier than I could ever be.

    I kept telling them to stop playing the “doctor” role. All I wanted was to have a real conversation with them. They kept on acting like robots.

    What did I do? I overcame my stutter. I competed in bodybuilding. Went skydiving. I got a motorcycle. Now every time I pass next to their “clinic” I flip them off.

    Reply
    • alden - November 13, 2013 7:17 am

      that’s fucking awesome. I guess the doctors kept thinking they needed to do their jobs only. Did they do the whole “Oops, that’s all the time we have left for today”?

      Reply
  5. John - November 13, 2013 12:24 pm

    Hi Alden, and fellow subscribers. I reckon having the strength to open up on your blog, shows real commitment to getting over all the sh*t that is thrown our way. I tried counseling once, for Panick Attacts and Anxiety. The room was filled with an uncomfortable silence for ages. I am glad to say that I didn’t have to pay for the pointless therapy. You have to be able to open up to yourselves, before you can ‘spill the beans’, to a complete stranger. Self Hypnosis done it for me and I have never looked back, that’s why I now promote ‘Self Hypnosis Audios’, on my blog. Cure yourself in private, let it all out, then just let it go! (no spamming intended, Alden) Well done my friends, just be honest with yourselfs!

    Reply
    • alden - November 13, 2013 5:37 pm

      That’s awesome man. HAha that pointless therapy does sound pointless.

      Reply
  6. Pingback: The Not Give a Fuck Q&A Debut! Ask me anything and I shall reply. | Alden Tan

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