Alden-tan.com

I nearly cried writing this email…

Note: This was an email I sent to my list a couple of days ago. It surprisingly did really well as a lot of readers replied to it, one of whom even said she cried reading it. So I decided to put it up here on the blog for everyone to read. See? If you subscribe to me you get exclusive non-blog goodies too. Enjoy! 

Hey,

Yep I nearly did.

You see, my girlfriend just went back home to her country today. I only get to see her once a month.

I had the past 6 days with her and it was an absolute blast. I loved every minute and second of it.

But… as with every month, one of us has to go home. And she had to go home today.

I sent her off at the airport and the feeling was horrible. It felt like a heavy mass of conflicted emotions inside me.

On one hand, I really did not want her to go at all. I wanted her to stay with me forever.

On the other hand, I was thinking, “Oh my god just go! I can’t stand this meaningless wait. Just go check in with your passport. We’re just being polite and trying to save what little worthless time we have together now”.

And eventually, it came to an end. We hugged at the check-in point, kissed and said “See you later”.

“Never goodbye”, as she taught me.

That’s why I love her. She’s strong enough to always tell me that, when I’m the one feeling weak inside.

I felt like I wanted to cry this afternoon… but I didn’t.

As crappy and shitty as I felt today, I told myself, “Today I decide that I’ll be happy. I hate to see her go, but I’ll be happy. There’s so much shit in my life, work, money, worrying about money, worrying about my mom, wondering when I can make it big, wishing that everything was easier, all the anger and frustration with other people, BUT TODAY… I’ll be happy”.

After my girlfriend walked past through the gate, I couldn’t help but not smile. She turned around once, and waved at me. She was smiling. So was I.

There was only joy.

And that’s what I wanted to tell you today…

… There is only joy.

You see in life we tend to always dwell in all the bad stuff like anger, frustration, worry, anxiety or whatever, you name it. It kind of takes control of our lives a lot, and that’s why we get lost.

We all just want to be happy. We just want to protect what we love, and be happy.

And that’s what I felt deep in me at the airport today. As I waved to my girlfriend for the last time before she walked off, I just realized that I, and ALL of us just want to be happy.

No it isn’t like, “Yeah I’m so strong” just because I didn’t cry. I’m honestly feeling very envious right now to all the lucky couples out there who get to see and hug their loved one every, single day.

But… I still decide to be happy.

There is only joy. So spread it. Forget about feeling angry, sad or frustrated for a second. Open up, and just try to be happy even in your darkest moment.

I hope you can.

I’m missing my girlfriend very much right now, but I’m so happy to have met her. Until I meet her again, I will be happy, as much as I can.

I hope you can too.

Peace,
Alden

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8 comments

  1. Ani - October 19, 2012 7:03 am

    🙂 long distance relationships are very hard to handle… but they also keep the romance alive at the same time, since missing intensifies feelings. You chose to look at the situation from the angle where it looks bright and that’s the right choice to make.
    Good luck!

    Reply
    • alden - October 20, 2012 7:05 am

      Thanks Ani!

      I already consider myself lucky as… well, I don’t even consider it a long distance relationship. We get to meet every month, while others get to see each other for like once or twice a year!

      Reply
  2. John - October 22, 2012 4:52 pm

    Good Point Alden on not giving-in to the negative emotions. They really can so easily control us. Why not focus on the positive and let that flow through our lives? Like you suggest I try to focus on the good, be strong, focused and persevere with my positive emotions.

    Reply
    • alden - October 23, 2012 1:11 am

      Hey John!

      Yeah man for real, though sometimes it feels pretty hard :(. When you miss your girl you just miss your girl.

      Reply
  3. John - October 24, 2012 4:19 pm

    Absolutely! I think missing your girl is a good sign of your feelings for her. You def know how to handle it too.

    Reply
    • alden - October 25, 2012 7:23 am

      Good and bad! Good cause it’s all good, bad cause the feeling blows sometimes. lol.

      Reply
  4. Aditya - October 30, 2012 5:54 pm

    Hi Alden,

    I’m new here but I was hooked to your writing as soon as I started reading it. The great thing about you is with so many negative emotions around you and little joy, you focus on building on that happiness rather than giving a damn to those negative emotions. If only I could do that, I’d be much much happier than I’m now.

    Nice writing style and I’m on your list already. Keep going! Oh yeah, never give a fuck, brought me down as well!

    Aditya

    Reply
    • alden - October 31, 2012 7:01 am

      Hey man,

      Thanks for the kind words and thanks for subscribing!

      Haha well sometimes I have my low moments, but I just find a way to bring myself up. Let me know if you’ve any questions! Just email me!

      Reply

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