Apologies in advance, for this is not a post on physical fitness and losing weight.
It’s about taking on what life throws at you, thinking you’re going to die and picking yourself up after that.
It sounds dramatic, but that’s my take.
On the left is a picture taken a couple of years ago, right when the symptoms of hyperthyroidism hit me full-on like a bitch.
I suddenly started experiencing uncontrollable hand tremors, random bouts of muscle weakness throughout my body and breathing difficulties. My heart was also beating way too fast, even when I was trying to sleep.
I remember taking the bus home one afternoon and after I walked back in to my house, I was so tired and weak that I had to sit down.
In just the span of a month, I lost about 7 KG, or 15 pounds.
I was so weak I couldn’t do a thing. I literally lost all my moves and any form of movement in my Bboying. I was even waking up all sweaty and shit every day.
I was scared as fuck of course.
On the right is a picture of Brad Pitt while filming Fight Club. Just kidding lol. It was taken just a few days ago. That’s the result of hard work, a little bit of dieting and above all else, not submitting to life’s unpredictable bullshit.
For a direct comparison, that’d be about 59 KG versus 65 KG.
I don’t have any unique lessons today beyond the cliche.
Yes, if I can do it, so can you.
Don’t give up either, the results will be worth it.
Always look on the bright side, because there is always one.
For whatever life throws at you, at the end of the day, you’d have a great story to tell. Check it.
Scary is when no one and nothing will react the way you thought it would
I finally went to the clinic to get myself checked. This was the morning after I got my blood tested.
The nurse called me and told me to come to the clinic because, in her own words, “the doctor wants to start treatment immediately.”
I was like, “What? What’s wrong? What do I have?”
She curtly replied, “Oh I don’t know. Just come in as soon as you can. It should be fine. See you!” and hung up.
I immediately bolted out of the house, grabbed a cab and went to the clinic. For the entire trip, I was panicking like a bitch. I honestly, truly thought I was going to die.
To add insult to injury, this happened: Of all days, the fucking queue system in the clinic screwed up. They missed out on me entirely. I had to wait an extra 45 minutes or so in total.
When I finally got to sit down in front of the doctor, he was like. “Oh you have hyperthyroidism.”
We chatted for a bit after that. He explained to me what it was. Then he gave me a prescription for my medication.
That was the end of the ordeal, or so I thought.
Scary is when you’re young and knowing that you’re afflicted for life
I immediately felt better after taking my first dose of meds.
All the symptoms stopped almost immediately. I was happy. I thought I was cured.
But after I went for my first followup, the doctor told me that hyperthyroidism is a long-term condition. He said I’d have to continue the medication for up to a few years.
And the answer never changed at all whenever I asked how and why this thing came about. “It’s like that” was the answer I was always given.
It dawned on me heavily back then that I wasn’t even 30 yet, and I had to take a pill every day pretty much for the rest of my life.
I was extremely down for a long while after that. I felt like an elderly man. I was also very paranoid that in my years to come, I’d be diagnosed with something even worse, like perhaps cancer by 50.
You would think that when things are going wrong all around you, things would let up, that you’d be given a break. But life doesn’t work that way.
Sometimes, the shit doesn’t stop raining and you can’t understand it at all.
But, that’s okay.
Sooner or later you’d feel like you can’t be fucked anymore. That was when I decided to chill out and just go with it. I didn’t care anymore that I had to take pills regularly. I stopped worrying if I’d get afflicted with something worse.
I just didn’t give a shit.
I continued doing what I love to do everyday, hence the continued existence of my blog and and also my craft in Bboying.
It doesn’t have to be that hard. You only need to make sensible decisions everyday and push yourself to do the work. You just need to chill.
That is why I exercise and session a lot more than usual now.
No, it’s not like I count calories or diet hardcore. I still drink my beer (maybe a bit too much even) and eat junk food from time to time.
All I do is put in the work, little by little in a very chill manner.
When you do that, you’d eventually create something so huge that life wouldn’t even fucking dare to throw anything at you, because by then, you’d be pretty invincible.
The bright side is always there
You just need to chill out and accept it.
Apparently, I will never get cancer, at least in my thyroid because my blood tests show I have antibodies or some shit to fight it off.
I’m also immune to HEP B. How do I know? It’s a funny story:
When I was given my diagnosis the first day I met the doctor, he said he wanted to check my liver. He was like, “Do you drink a lot?”
I said yes.
He shook his head and ordered another blood test.
And lo and behold, the results showed that not only is my liver fine after copious amounts of drinking, I’m also immune to HEP B. I thought this was pretty damn funny considering my thyroid was the main issue.
I am no doctor, but I’m embracing the silver linings.
Life is shit if you think it’s shit. The universe is an asshole if you think it’s one. The darkness will prevail if you want snuff out your own light.
And you’ll never get what you want in life if you just lay back expect things to happen. This is when you always blame it on “luck”when good or bad things happen to you.
But fuck luck man. You transform your own life by taking the reins.
Today, I personally control my own dosage of meds. One doctor reassured me that I could do it, so long as the symptoms don’t return.
I’ve also stopped researching and reading up on hyperthyroidism. I figured I don’t need facts to run my life that much.
I just exercise, dance and write, all for a healthy body and mind.
Also, I embrace gratitude.
I still have my arms and legs. I can exercise. No excuses.
I still have my mind intact. I can think for myself AND others.
I am not bedridden. I can have a life and meet hot chicks all over the world.
I’ve a mouth to share amazing stories, and to drink beer.
I am not worthless. I can pick myself up anytime I want.
Gratitude isn’t hard. It is a tool to transform your life, but you don’t need to make it out like hard work. You don’t need to use it to filter reality.
You just chill!
And when you’re chill and relax, you take in the good shit in life and ignore the bullshit.
Your story will form on its own and then you can share it with the world.
Besides, a story with no drama is a boring one anyway.
If you want to increase your confidence and find ways to pick yourself up, check out 100 Days of No-bullshit Happiness so you can tell your amazing story.