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How to stand up against bullies once and for all

I always wanted to write this post. It’s about time I did.

Bullying is an extremely fucked up issue that is still ongoing. It’s amazing how such stupidity still exists in this world.

I keep reading about news on victims of bullying and how it drove them to suicide. It’s mostly about kids in school. And then the brave ones would actually stand up for themselves via a video on YouTube. Here are a few examples:


Now, I wasn’t exactly a victim of bullying myself, at least not to such dire proportions.

Here’s something that may shock you: I was a kind of a bully myself back then.

Yep. Totally fucked up and not cool at all.

I was an ass. What started out as a simple, consistent form of teasing elevated to misguided superiority over someone which only served to reflect how insecure I was as a person, student and a friend. As a result, I bullied a person who didn’t deserve it.

It’s just amazing now, as I look back and reflect. I was a major douche who deserved… well some of the bad shit in my life now.

We’re all good now, me and that guy. We’re friends now. It somehow just blew over the years as we all grew up and mellowed out.

Now… isn’t that the problem with it all?

The problem with Bullying today

Is that we think the whole issue, with every case would “blow over” and hence we let people mellow it out on its own through time.

Victim or bully, doesn’t matter. We let.

We want our kids to grow up, so we just conclude that victims of bullying in school should man up on their own and just let it go, as if there was no pain.

Grown ups today, who are bullied, be it low-ranking staff or spouses, are also suffering from the same thing.

There is pain. There is no love. There is no support.

Now seriously, how many victims actually feel like they are strong enough to handle it all on their own?

What we need to do about bullying

We need to make a stand.

We a need a revolution of the mind, of our consciousness so that collectively, we all look down upon it, and eventually let bullying cease to exist altogether.

It’s cheesy and cliché to say, “It first starts with us”, but yeah, it’s true.

Here’s how, but before that, here’s a video to relax first. Absorb all the shit above. I love this video. It’s funny and true. Watch, and listen carefully.

1) Recognize that bullies are suffering

Yes they are. You probably can’t appreciate or respect that, but it’s very very true. This is your first revolution.

Remember this now and forever, “Every attack is a cry for help”.

It’s only when you’re suffering and feeling all that pain inside that you see a need to take it out on others.

Go think about it. Remember all those times you were all pissed, sad and shit and what actions you took after.

So if you feel like you’re being bullied, remember this, they don’t win.

They never had and never will.

They don’t win just because they seem popular in school and start giving you shit for being different.

They don’t win just because your crazy boss is screaming at you and giving you more work.

They don’t “get away with it” just because they left you with that pain. And it becomes a vicious cycle for them as they don’t even know what to do.

Bullies are probably crying themselves to sleep every night.

2) Be happy you’re loved

That’s why you aren’t attacking others.

You don’t see a need to cause your parents and friends love you.

Don’t let a single bully take that away and make you feel that you don’t have any of that.

All that being said, just because you don’t “attack” or shit on others doesn’t mean you’re weak. It’s not like you have no balls or lack courage. You just have love.

I was wondering about this myself, like why I always let others walk over me. I was pissed with myself for a long time until I realized I had love, and I was blinded to it for a bit.

3) Fight back

Yeah you have to.

I’m not saying get into a physical fight in drastic proportions, but at least stand up for yourself.

Why should you fight back?

Because bullies are so insecure that they have it in their heads they’d have an easy win on victims.  And it’d continue if you don’t fight back.

When you fight back (by talking back at least), bullies would cower down cause… they wouldn’t know what to do!

The main problem here is that we have a bunch of ideas that we absolutely should “let it go”, “turn a blind eye”, “just let it slide” or whatever, calling these the “best” solutions when it dangerously puts you into repression.

Your voice drowns. Obviously one would feel victimized.

Do yourself a favour… just fight back and stand up for yourself once. Otherwise it’s just going to continue.

Then walk away, let it go and go home. It’s all good. You’re loved.

4) It gets better

Dan Savage, one of the writers I like tells you it gets better as you grow up. He was bullied for being gay.

Yeah it gets better. Not only do you mellow out, but life ahead is good.

Picture this bizarre idea: You may be friends with your bully next time.

I know it’s hard now and you’re feeling all sorts of shit you don’t understand from within, but if you’d just have a little faith, life will be better.

I’m amazed at the different things in my life now, things I never thought possible 5 years ago.

Your life isn’t about the shit you’re going through now. You’ve great things ahead. 

______________________________________________________________________________

Eventually, all of us are going to have to grow up.

How you live your life and how great you want it to be are based on the actions you take.

Be it bully or victim, use the caution of love. The following took place as I was writing this:

photobully

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notice the words of my friend.

On some level, that’s how you “mellow out” and simply let time take its course.

But… seriously, get some shit done. Fuck bullying. You have power to control how you want to live.

Selly sell: For some help in pushing yourself to get over fear to get some shit done… Get my book: Ready Your Life. 

If you want a realistic take on dealing people, get my other book: Street Smart Social: Become popular the honest way.

They’d help. I know so.

Want More Honest-As-Fuck Stories Like These?

Then Sign up for my free book here to stay in touch with me! 12 Things Happy People Don't Give a Fuck About! Become happy as fuck so you can do shit you love.

 

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13 comments

  1. Soma - August 14, 2013 12:21 pm

    Thank you so much for this, this really was something i needed to hear. Thank you so much Alden. This really gave me some strength. And I’ll keep going, I won’t give up. Thank you.

    Reply
  2. Rob Leonardo - August 14, 2013 2:27 pm

    Interesting and relevant topic, Alden! We were either a bully or the bullied once in our life. I did not feel like I was once bullied and I was thankful. However, I have realized that I was bullied after all! Bullying can be real hardcore tangible bullying. But when I was a kid, i also had classmates who one time or another pressured me to do something I did not like- even if it may whatever it was sounded trivial. But I did not say no because I was being nice or I might sound too serious not to ride on. Then I realized, enough is enough! You and I have to stop bullying.

    Reply
  3. tim - August 14, 2013 3:49 pm

    Great post Alden, Its great to see how you are growing as an individual. Keep up the positive attitude.
    & Thanks for putting up the Key&Peele clip. That summarized the whole bullying cycle. I would love to see a Part two when Key is older as a college professor and picks on kids who remind him of his past ordeal, showing the the vicious cycle through time.

    Reply
  4. Stephen Yeh - August 15, 2013 1:21 am

    Hey Alden, I’m new to this website, but I’m glad this was the first post I read. I used both be bullied a lot as a kid. It seems like bullies will always target people with low confidence. As I grew older, I started taking martial arts and I started to see those bullies vanish away. I recently heard about a kid, 7 years old, who’s getting picked on in school. I’m determined to teach him Muay Thai, not to kick some ass, but to have the confidence to know that he won’t stand for BS.

    Reply
    • alden - September 23, 2013 5:27 am

      You go man. That’s the way.

      Reply
  5. Frank T. - August 15, 2013 5:24 am

    Thank you. Very powerful, indeed!

    Reply
  6. hugo - August 19, 2013 4:32 am

    Nice text Alden.

    Reply
    • alden - August 21, 2013 3:24 am

      Thanks man.

      Reply
    • alden - September 23, 2013 5:26 am

      Peace brother.

      Reply
  7. Denise Johnston - August 29, 2013 4:31 pm

    I hope every bully or bullied kid ever gets to read this. Some people who stay in dangerous or abusive relationships could take a tip or two away from this as well. Superior post.

    Reply
    • alden - September 23, 2013 5:21 am

      Thanks Denise. Spread it.

      Reply
  8. hugo - August 31, 2013 8:18 pm

    The first story ruined my day. So sad story. I cant understand why people can be so mean and stupid, just cant. The important thing to keep in mind is that you can, no, you must denunciate to anyone, even to the police, becouse what these people are doing is a crime. They must be told.

    Reply
    • alden - September 23, 2013 5:21 am

      It happens yeah. Fuck them. Bullies are losers, but they’re also suffering.

      Reply

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