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How to pick yourself up after “failure”

Last week I felt a wave of disappointment in myself.

Basically, I took part in a Bboy competition and didn’t qualify through the prelims at all.

It was definitely disappointing, especially since I felt I did alright. But I guess alright wasn’t good enough.

The blow was definitely hard to swallow… okay that didn’t come out right. I mean, the disappointment made me feel pretty shitty.

But I’m done with that word now. I ain’t giving you the “D” no more.

And notice how I quote, unquoted the word Failure.

Failure is inevitable for everybody, and that’s not a bad thing

I think nobody says this enough.

Everybody is mostly talking about going for the win, getting first place, getting the prize and showing others that you can’t lose.

But we need to forget all of that for a bit.

We’re all made for challenges. We’re going to fuck up and fail in some of those challenges. It’s going to overwhelm us from time to time and we aren’t going to get what we want.

It’s just life.

It’s not about luck or winning. It’s just life.

And it’s very okay to fail.

But yeah, it feels pretty shitty. The messages get blurred from time to time. That’s why we need to say it more.

How to pick yourself up after “failure”

1) You gotta realize that “failure” is a good thing

The loss, sense of disappointment and experience of not getting what you want all combine to give you that very feeling of lack just so you can remember it deeply.

It doesn’t feel great at first, but it will later on. Why? Because you’ll remember it. It’ll stick with you for long.

Now flip it around. Turn that feeling-like-shitness into something good. Believe that it’s something good.

2) Embrace all the blessings that are in disguise

Honestly, blessings come in many forms. We conveniently call some of them in disguise when we don’t get what we want; when we experience “failure”.

Nonetheless, stick with the feeling of having failed and go take action.

Remember, it’s a good thing. Once you start taking action again, realize how your life would be completely, and I do mean COMPLETELY different should you not have failed.

I personally started practicing again the next day in my living room, something I know I wouldn’t have done if I qualified for the competition.

So embrace the feeling and take action. It’ll be good for you.

3) Believe that real failure only comes when you stop trying

The results you were expecting are nothing but a form of attachment, which given time, you can learn to let go of.

Instead, pat yourself on the back for trying at the get go.

Girl didn’t give you her number? At least you had the balls to approach her.

Didn’t go far in a competition? At least you took part. You’re way ahead of the spectators.

Did nine chin-ups instead of ten? You went for the bar yo.

Trying always brings you that much closer to your goal. So don’t stop trying.

4) Remember failure is never the end

Newsflash 1: Your journey isn’t going to end. Because with all the good stuff above and if you just keep trying again, you’re going to get better and eventually reach your goal.

Guaranteed.

Newsflash 2: More challenges will come. You will “fail” again.

But that’s the beauty of it. You’re going to keep growing. Just don’t be so hard on yourself.

Don’t let the fear of failure drag you down. Be happy.

Here’s 100 Days of Happiness.

Click on image

days of happiness

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3 comments

  1. Jatin Motavar - June 30, 2014 9:19 am

    YEAH,ALDEN….AMAZING WORDS , Its truly motivating….really wise men use the stones of failure to make a ladder and reach success….
    🙂

    Reply
  2. Steve Roy - July 21, 2014 6:44 pm

    Hey dude,
    Good words to live by here. Too many people let their setbacks fuck them up and stop them in their tracks. Failing is part of life and especially when we are doing work we love or pursuing our passions, it’s critical to remember that we will have times where we feel like colossal failures.

    The key is to remember our “why” and to continue pushing forward. Like you said, the only failure is when we quit..

    Reply
  3. Georgia - July 23, 2014 6:38 am

    Thank you very much for all your email’s they are fantastic, short & sweet.
    Hope you can talk about trying to achieve your goals but cannot achieve them?

    Georgia

    Reply

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