How to find and make real friends and love them all your life

My best friend’s died mom from cancer when he was at a young age.

I’ve close friend whose dad walked out on them when he was young. He was abusive and shit. He grew up with an uncle being his father figure.

I’ve another close friend whose dad died a year after my dad died.

And, you guessed it, another close friend whose younger brother died only a few years ago.

These are the close friends. I can easily name many other friends who has a parent who died or experienced some form of close tragedy before.

Hence, that is how you love your friends: Through all the flaws and pain you all share.

In other words, birds who share the same fuck ups or got fucked before all flock together.

I don’t agree that it’s all about sharing good memories and all the fun little whatevers you do together.

These are all minor. These are cheap and can be easily bought.

Little joys in life can get fucked up by petty bullshit and we allow it to snowball into a big ball of fuckery because we don’t realize that in friendship things are guaranteed to go wrong.

Your friends will piss you off. Your friends will break promises. Your friends will annoy you by being unfair or saying something uncalled for.

It’ll all happen.

The worst? Friends will drift apart from you. People drift apart all the damn time.

Think about how you were once close to some friend, but you guys aren’t close anymore. Why? Because you guys aren’t in the same school anymore, or you guys don’t work in the same place anymore, or you guys don’t live near each other anymore, or one of you got into a relationship and doesn’t give a fuck anymore. Whatever. It happens.

Does that kind of friendship really matter anymore? Is it important in your life anymore? Is there love in there?

Arguably, the answer is no.

How do you fight time, space and distance in friendship?

Simple. Just base them on the flaws and pain you guys share.

Pain will never lie to you.

When all of you are so screwed up one way or another, you guys just have to stick together in spite of time and space.

From there, empathy and love will be form a bond for you guys.

So stick to the friends who are as fucked up as you. Forget the rest. Forget the other superficial friends who only think are close to you because of playful memories or the number of selfies you guys share. They will rot, or something may get in the way for sure.

That is why my friends bothered to do the ice bucket challenge for me.



Haha fucking clowns. 

And that is also why the friends I had, with the typical memories and shit are out of my life. We don’t talk no more.

That is okay, because there was no pain involved.

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  1. Sheehan - July 7, 2015 9:05 am

    This is so, so true 🙂

  2. Stella chiu - July 7, 2015 12:42 pm

    Hi, Alden

    I don’t mind to be your friend because you really know what true friend is.

    I agree with you the friends, who went through life experience (up and down) with us, are the most dearest to us. Their empathy and love support us through the trials. We don’t need to waste time and energy for the friends who just for “happy time”.

    We do not need to have many friends. We can count us as blessed human beings if each of us has a “few real good friends” as you mentioned in this article.

    I am new to your blog but like your unique format for each post. Have a beautiful week,



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