Or you could call this, “How to deal with this messed up world”
“How to deal with really screwed up people”
“How do deal with this unfair life”
or “How to stop being so damn pissed with others”.
There’re many variations to it and I plan to tackle them all because I know all of you think the same or at least many times in your life before.
I deal with assholes in this unfair life all the time
“Assholes” being, people whose actions I disagree with, friends who don’t live up to my expectations and “unfair life” being every time something doesn’t go my way.
Annoying colleagues, noisy neighbours, waiting too long for the bus, dealing with dumb kids, high workload, shit that goes missing (my pen!), rude people.
List goes on!
Basically I’m not pleased. And this post comes in good timing since I’m feeling pretty pissed right now.
The universe is unfair for sure
That’s why all of us go through our own fair set of challenges.
And that’s why sometimes life gets the better of us. We get overwhelmed from time to time, be it from work or relationships with other people.
The (sort of) undeniable fact about it is that there’s absolutely nothing we can do about it. Life just keeps going on right? There’re 7 billion people on this planet and you’re going to meet a bunch of them. Not all are going to please you.
We’re told to simply accept it and deal with it, whether we like it or not. Not everything in life can go the way we want it to, 100%.
To try to go against that could mean you’re bordering on being a spoilt brat or that you’re asking for too much…
Life IS unfair, I acknowledge that. But that doesn’t mean I am not going to lay back and accept it like a dog.
Here’s how to deal with a world filled with assholes or however you want to put it
Before I go into details, here’s a little factor you should take note of:
Every attack is a cry for help
It is isn’t it? I learnt it from a book I read before and also after some major reflection.
You see, when someone comes forth and gives you shit, verbally or physically, it’s actually them crying out, “I’m feeling something inside of me which I do not like. I’ve tried to understand it, but failed. In my confusion and fear, I’ve decided to take it out on others to make myself feel better about it”.
And if they continue crying for help (attacking), it eventually becomes, “I cannot come to terms with what I’ve become. I’ll just continue taking it out on others anyway for the temporary relief. I do not know what else to do“.
Do you now understand why some people cannot even stand to look themselves in the mirror?
Now, it’s really up to you to whether you want to deal with the problems you have in a mature and helpful way, or just take it out on others, which will never work.
1) Tell yourself, “I don’t want to be miserable”
I meet assholes and douchebags all the time. I get really upset when friends don’t live up to my expectations. Sometimes I wonder why I get the weird shit in life, like random rude strangers who push past you.
Aggravating yes? But instead of asking myself, “What did I ever do to deserve any of this?”…
… I now say, “I don’t want to be miserable”.
– Getting pissed over a single comment made by someone.
– Going into a road rage when another driver cuts you off.
– Having thoughts of revenge just because someone looked you in an ugly way.
– Throwing a fit over unexpected rainy weather.
– Forcing yourself to celebrate over a questionable win (You came up with a good comeback over a lame argument. Yay for you).
– Feeling ultimately guilty for the way you acted.
Every attack is a cry for help… [tweetherder]When someone tries to give you problems, it doesn’t mean he or she has entered your life, it’s just them passing by with their own insecurities. [/tweetherder]
Yes life sucks sometimes, but don’t start attacking others because of it. Whoever is trying to take you down, is ALREADY miserable. There’s really no point adding to their misery. To do so would be giving them the wrong kind of validation they want.
Instead, go make something out of yourself and get better in what you do.
You can do this in two ways:
a) Help them instead. Be the better man. Not something I myself can do often since I’m not that magnanimous.
or b) Just ignore and focus on your life. I do it all the time. Now do you know why when you get bullied or someone is giving you a hard time, your friends or family tell you to ignore (and this looks like they brushed you off)? Because it does help and it’s the perfect solution.
2) You actually aren’t alone
Yeah you aren’t. Knowing that I’m not alone makes me feel better.
Because I know that everyone has their own set of challenges. Everyone feels down, pissed or sad in some point in their lives. I know all of this for certain even though I don’t see it with my own eyes… not that you should want to you know? Watching others cry, be miserable or at their lowest can open your eyes, but not greatly necessary.
When I feel upset or sad, I just remind myself I’m not the only one who has felt this way before. You should too. [tweetherder]You’re not the pioneer of shitty feelings.[/tweetherder]
Also, it’s a good idea to dig deeper and try to understand where the negativity is coming from. When you’re feeling upset or sad because of the actions of others, it doesn’t mean they’ve switched sides and automatically become your enemies. If you think that way, reflect a little because that could be your own insecurities speaking.
E.g. It really annoys me when friends don’t act the way I expect them to, but I don’t lash out at them. It could be misunderstanding altogether and it’d be ridiculous to think that they’ve abandoned me. They’re after all, still my friends.
3) Stop exaggerating
Is the world ENTIRELY filled with assholes?
Is your life ALWAYS unfair?
Are you NEVER going to get better in what you do?
Is EVERYONE around you nothing but dickheads?
This isn’t where I tell you to stop using such negative words due to some new-agey “law of attraction” tripe as it might work against you.
I’m telling you to stop exaggerating now because that’s what you’re doing, overreacting.
Instead, relax first, then brush it all off and look forward.
Remember the good stuff in life.
How about that time where you got a windfall or big-ass reward for no reason? How about that random act of kindness from someone you barely know?
I know that amidst the negativity you’re feeling, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and let it all get the better of you, but don’t.
Look back and remember the good stuff. Be thankful for what you have today. Then look ahead, and be open to opportunities of goodness.
4) Above all, just chill out
This is a sign for you, to chill out.
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