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How getting my first tattoo liberated me

IMG_0234I was wondering whether I should be posting this article, acting like it’s such a big deal considering I only have one tattoo. It must seem like such a “newbie” thing to do especially to those who have gotten inked many times before.

But nonetheless, this is a milestone for me in my life. There’s a story behind all tattoos, that is, if you don’t get drunk and ink some stupid shit on impulse I guess.

So this is my story.

The coming of age where you just care for yourself only

After I hit 30 this year, the urge to do anything I want, my own way became a lot stronger. It was gnawing feeling, like “I’m already 30. I really, really don’t need to give a fuck about what others think anymore!”

And that includes my mom.

You know how it’s like to grow up listening to others your entire life, for the sole sake of not wanting to get into trouble and pleasing others, elders and authority figures included and eventually it just gets a little too much?

It’s not like I’m not trying to sound ungrateful. It’s not like I’ve been brought up in a shitty way.

But still, sometimes, it gets too much to bear. As said, it gnaws at you. It starts as a tiny feeling that eventually grows on its own because it’s all you. It’s the essence of you and it’s dying to manifest itself.

For most of us, that feeling gets shut down. Be it because of others or by choice, we all don’t get to do everything it is that we want.

So this tattoo is my way of saying, “No. This my decision. This is what I want to do. This is all me. I did it on my own and I seek no validation for it.”

For all of us, I’m willing to bet this coming of age will happen. It just occurs at a different number and whether you want to make that step; whether you want to continue living with your feelings hidden in your heart only, or whether you want to let it show up.

It may sound selfish, but it’s not exactly that. That being said though, to conclude that simply caring for yourself is selfish is extremely narrow-minded. It’s only giving a shit about yourself, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

When you give a shit about yourself, despite what others think, the liberation can start. And guess what? If others do disagree with you and even try to criticise you, the satisfaction from doing what you want your own way is even all the more sweeter.

There is a rebel in all of us. That is how the coming of age starts, from being a rebel. Some of us rebel against our parents, while the some of us rebel against our thoughts, our past or even our own identity.

“Calm”

The meaning of the tattoo means “Calm”, in which I remind myself that I don’t have to be so pissed off all the time.

Yes. I’ve anger issues. Negativity clouds my mind a lot. It’s hard for me to let go for a lot of shit at times. People don’t see it because I don’t act out in public. If you do, it means you’re in trouble and you should run.

I like to think the galaxy is calm, what with all the stars, comets, novas and shit.

So yeah, this is a very personal thing of mine. And quite frankly, if someone chooses to not understand it, then they do not deserve to be with my friend or have any relations with me.

With that said, I guess the rebel in us comes out when you let your real self, meaning, truth come out too.

Looking cool and showing up to show off

Since young, I was never taken in by the idea of getting a tattoo. I just thought it was too scary an idea because it was leaving a permanent mark on your body. But it was only this year when I suddenly got attracted to having one. The idea of having something to represent you fully was rather appealing.

Above all else, I think they look fucking cool. I think mine looks cool as shit. I think ups my charisma by a lot and that gives me confidence.

Call it superficial, but hey, if you look good, you feel good. Only the happy ones take steps to actually look good in life. The rest are ugly, because they’re already unhappy.¬†

Interestingly, now that I’ve gotten one, I noticed many, and I do mean almost all friends I know are very quick to say that they want to get a tattoo too. And I know they won’t be getting one. It’s all talk.

I was all talk too for a long while.

It’s not to say that we’re all full of shit. It’s to say we hold ourselves back in life too much.

When was the last time you really did something for yourself?

When was the last time you didn’t feel like you needed to seek approval?

When was the last time you gave a shit about yourself?

Maybe it’s time you let the rebel come out.

Maybe it’s time you start showing up for yourself.

Maybe it’s time you add meaning to your life.¬†Maybe it’s time you liberate yourself.

As long as you’re not hurting others, it’s okay you know?

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