I was doing a little research on infidelity one day, particularly on the idea of why good people cheat.
Google that shit.
You’d be surprised how many people talk about it as they back it up with research, statistics and stories of why cheating in a relationship is A-okay.
Whether you agree with that or not, is not the point.
You should however, not be surprised at all. Cheating so fucking common today. So many people cheat. Your best friend. That couple from high school who seems to be together since forever. Celebrities. Your priest. Your aunt, uncle. Your mom, dad. You partner. You.
And you know what? Not all of these people are lying, cheating, assholes who are bad people condemned to go to hell just because of this sin.
They are good people.
That is why cheating is a phenomenon today. It happens and it has been happening throughout time and history. And no one is truly innocent.
The point is then what really constitutes honesty and how it should play out.
The principle that is honesty is honestly very abstract and in some sense, dark as fuck.
It’s easy to think that the person caught cheating by sleeping with another person is deceitful asshole, but a lot of us already put on a facade of dishonesty on the first date. That is when you prepare yourself to look good in every way possible to impress the shit out of him or her.
Then once you guys get together and start to get complacent, the facade comes down. The little kid at the top of the stage screwed up. The curtain comes falling down.
Your inner child is revealed. Naked on stage. It looks like shit. You guys fight. Maybe one of you get so fed up that one of you cheat in the conventional sense. You guys then break up.
Who then, has been really, truly honest?
It seems like honesty is dictated by the people and the rules around you.
If others get away with it 99% of the time, it’s okay for you to do the same.
If others consider it as a small thing, you too can safely call it small and tuck it away. E.g. Sending flirty texts versus screwing someone else.
If others think it’s something huge, holy shit, you’re totally fucked and you should come clean to make them, not you, feel better about it.
And this is even if you dare to tell others about your fuck ups in the first place.
So what’s honesty, really?
I don’t know. You tell me. I can’t even tell if you’re going to lie or not. That is your freedom.
For further reading, look up Dan Savage and his views on infidelity.