When it comes to leading a happy life, people would be quick to teach you to surround yourself with positive people.
When it comes to business, especially an online one, people would be quick to teach you to define your audience and adding to that, to “find your tribe”.
They’re fundamental for your success and happiness.
And I totally agree.
But we all get this simple idea wrong!
It’s mostly due to a bunch of reasons, or as I like to call them, excuses.
My personal journey of trying to find the right people
I’m sure everyone has this journey.
It’s more so important for me as a blogger as I need to network and find the right people.
Ahh, network, that business-y word.
For most people, network is about connecting with people, either successful people or the up-and-comers so your business can benefit from them.
And this made me tired as fuck, as so much so I sent an angry email to my list and have developed a bad taste for successful people.
Yes, let this be known, I totally cannot stand talking to successful entrepreneurs any more. On my part, I lacked so much self-confidence that I believed everything a successful person told me.
So imagine the confusion I had when more than 5 people told me their methods which they swear by.
The problem was making up excuses and not going “all in”
Something I believe a lot of people fall prey to.
When you don’t go “all in”, you make up excuses.
At social gatherings: There’s this guy you hate. The mere sight of him disgusts you. But you turn up for the gathering anyway because of a half-hearted obligation (weddings, birthdays) and you don’t want to come across as petty to others. You end up fulfilling the obligation, but spend a few hours of a bitter sweet disgust in you as you have to be in the presence of that guy you dislike.
In business: You meet a highly successful blogger, or entrepreneur. He has a huge list and database. He’s rolling in the money and has proven himself. But he’s a jerk. In your chats with him, he puts you down and always boasts about his success without you asking. It’s annoying as hell, but you deal with it anyway for the little hope of being able to work with him.
I’ve been there and done that. It was extremely tiring and led me to nowhere. I reaped zero benefits in business too.
Because it’s entirely useless. You have to go “all in”.
No more excuses.
Hanging out with a positive person doesn’t mean looking up to someone and believing everything they say.
Finding your tribe or networking isn’t about trying to reap a benefit only.
They CAN work, but it can get super tiring.
Go All In.
Hang out with people who you can exchange fucking high-fives non-stop and tell inside jokes over beer.
Don’t find a tribe. Be your awesome self. Get that awesomeness out there. Let people hear of you and wait for them to come to you.
You all speak the same language.
You all have the same beliefs.
Everyone instantly feels at ease in each others’ presence.
Nobody force feeds each other bullshit.
There is only respect.
It’s 100% all in.
That’s why being yourself is so important
And don’t you forget it.
I forgot about it for the longest time. Sure I learnt a lot along the way, but something was not right within. That conflict inside felt so bad.
Which is why now I focus a lot more on what I’m good at, writing.
I write way more now and it even attracted the best, like-minded folks out there. Check out Erika Napoletano of Redhead Writing. She invited me to write over there: How to deal with negativity, assholes and discouragement
I’ve unsubscribed from a ton of newsletters and stopped reading a bunch of blogs. I only read those who speak like me, namely Julien Smith, the Middle Finger Project, Pursuit of Everything and Post Masculine.
I’m also in the process of culling my Facebook friends list. I’m deleting unknown people like a machine now. (If you want to get off my friends list, post a disturbing video depicting blood and gore. I’ll definitely delete you).
I stopped going for social gatherings entirely if it’s only based on an obligation.
It’s all in.
Life’s too short to half ass it. Are you going all in? Let me know in the comments.