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Give Yourself Some Fucking Love Today

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Look at this shameless selfie of me. I took it at the park right after an awesome work out.

Now back to me.

You know who I am?

My name is Alden Tan. I am a 30 year-old writer who’s struggling.

No, I don’t make the six-figures. I don’t have financial freedom yet. I am not famous. I don’t do my work on my laptop by the beach. I don’t get to travel the entire world. I don’t get invited to talks. I don’t drive an expensive car.I even find it tough to make ends meet sometimes.

But do you know what else I am?

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I am the dude who dared to strike out on his own at a young age to do what he loves and start his own business, something a lot of my friends do not dare to do because they’re too used to their stable jobs.

I am the dude, at the tender age of 20 who saw his own dad’s lifeless body after ALS finally took his life and despite that, managed to move on.

I am the dude who hence tries really hard to be a good son today.

I am the dude who’s also a Bboy (breakdancer) of over ten years. In addition to working out, that’s how I stay fit, passionate and get lean as fuck. That’s up to 20 hours of practice and exercise every week. Learning the culture of the dance has also made me a better person in every aspect of my life.

I am the dude who got diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. That shit came out of nowhere. I literally became a weak person who couldn’t function properly in life. But I recovered and picked myself up. That is why I work out and watch my diet today.

I am the dude who writes because he loves it and feels his stories can help people. And I do it my own fucking way because I think the self-help space is full of cliched crap and pretentious “gurus” who know nothing.

I once had a reader write in saying I saved him from suicide.

And can you just see my fucking awesome tattoo which I got at the oh-so-young age of 30?!

Am I bragging?

You can bet your bitch ass I am.

I can do this not because I am good or that I’ve accomplished a lot.

It’s because I’m giving myself love.

The big question now is:

Are you giving yourself some love?

I don’t think you are.

It’s so easy to get caught up in life and allow others’ expectations to overwhelm us.

And eventually, you start living according to others’ beliefs.

If I stopped giving myself some love, everything you read above would turn into:

I quit my job and started my own business. So what? I’m not even close to five figures. I’m just not cut out for business.

My dad died, yeah sure, but that doesn’t mean anything. I mean, so many people out there go through the same thing.

And how am I a good son? Others would have given their moms a grand kid or something at my age.

What’s the use of being a Bboy? It doesn’t pay much. Maybe I should give it up and go get a job.

Am I really a good writer? I mean, it’s not like I’ve gone super viral or have a few bestsellers under my belt.

See the difference?

It’s easy to see the contrast here, but this is the kind of bullshit a lot of us tell ourselves everyday.

This is the kind of conversation we have in our heads continuously and because nobody dares to truly speak up, we accept it.

We think it’s not okay to give ourselves love.

Fuck that.

Start giving yourself some love today.

Be dramatic and become as boastful as you want. Don’t you see that you’re being really dramatic in a negative direction anyway?

“I am not good enough.”

“I suck.”

“Nobody would ever want to be with me. I’m doomed to be alone forever.”

“I am not as good as them!”

“I’m a loser who deserves everything I’ve got today.”

Blah. Blah. Blah. Stop it!

Start with the little things.

I know you’re good at something. I know you’ve done great before.

Maybe you aren’t rich or famous, but hey! You gave your seat up to that elderly lady that day on the train.

And that started an awesome chain of events. She could rest her tired legs. She went home feeling so happy knowing that humanity isn’t filled with assholes after all that she decided to call up her son and told him she missed him. He then came over that night and they had a fucking great dinner together as they caught up.

See what I did there?

It is very possible.

And it’s all because of you.

Start giving yourself some love today. Don’t doubt your greatness. Make zero apologies for who you are.

Then continue to do the work and achieve your goals. That’s how you avoid being deluded.

At this point, you’d at least feel that much better about yourself.

This post originally appeared on Medium. Follow me right here!

Do you want more honest-as-fuck stories like this?

1 comment

  1. SHIVA RJ - March 13, 2016 11:27 am

    Not gonna lie. But this made my day. I helped a few old people today and your deftly chosen words make me feel proud about myself. You are one hella positive guy. Zero apologies for being myself

    Reply

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