December #dontgiveafuck challenge day 4: Why you need to get over your ex

Okay, today’s article is about getting over your ex! Straight up!

I’ve received way too many emails from readers who are telling me they are depressed, suicidal and/or dying, because they just broken up and they can’t move forward with life without them!

I’m not trying to mock people who’ve just broken up, but those are the exact words I hear all the time: depressed, suicidal, dying, sad, hopeless…

And honestly, that’s kind of ridiculous as fuck.

Yep. That’s the hard truth. And the main hard truth is that you need to get over your ex.

Look (let’s get it out of the way), I know it’s hard, and yes, I know I don’t know you and hence I cannot fully empathize with what you’re going through.

I’ve been there. I’ve been through a total of five breakups, and about another seven girls whom I had a hard time getting over. We didn’t get together, but it was tough cause we dated a bit and I thought it was all going well until they decided to treat me like shit or disappear completely.

I felt all the pain there was. I would wake up in the morning feeling like shit and I knew immediately it was going to be a bad day. I felt depressed even. I didn’t want to do a thing.

But… to this day, I’m extremely grateful (haha cliché) for all my breakups. It was my exes who allowed me to become awesome today.

Without the experience with them, I wouldn’t have learnt how to STOP loving a girl who had no love for me, as taught by my first girlfriend who saw her ex behind my back.

I wouldn’t have learnt how to stop giving in to unreasonable behaviour, as taught by my second girlfriend who was a spoilt princess bitch.

I wouldn’t have learnt how to stand up for myself, as taught by my third girlfriend who slapped me in front of her parents once.

Yeah. It was crazy. Looking back, I do wonder why I was such a loser who didn’t watch out for himself.

Yeah, you grow when you get over your ex. Let me list some reasons down:

4 reasons why you need to get over your ex

1) If you don’t, you’re allowing someone else to control your life

Think about it. You’re allowing someone else control your life. You’re allowing someone else control your emotions, your feelings, your happiness, your thoughts, your senses and your way of life.

Isn’t that ridiculous?! You’re you man. You’re awesome, special and fully capable of doing crazy shit with your talents.

Why should one single person who has nothing to do with you any more ruin all that?

2) If you don’t, you’re living in the past

Are you not? When you think about your ex and shit, you’re just thinking about what happened; about memories only.

That’s the past. And in the past, all you’re asking is, “What if?”.

That’s bullshit yo! You need to get out of the past, because the present is where you’re at. You got to start being awesome to create a spectacular life and future for yourself.

Then you have even better memories to trump the previous ones.

3) If you don’t, you will not grow

I’ve had friends who well, didn’t grow at all from their past relationships. They want their next girlfriend to be like the ex.

That’s also ridiculous bullshit. The reason why you guys broke up is because something screwed up and you two didn’t work out. Obviously, something has got to change.

So, if you can’t get over your ex, you keep living the past and stuff, you tend to try to recreate a new present based on your past. Doesn’t that mean the same shit is going to happen again?

You got to get over your ex to grow obviously.

4) If you don’t, be miserable forever

Yep. You can indulge in misery forever. No more happiness, joy, excitement and other positive shit.

What a life that would be then, one where you don’t have any of the good stuff.

It’s really your choice to get over your ex.

As difficult as it is, you got to make that step.

I read about a depressed person’s account once about how he did nothing when he went out during the day. It didn’t seem like much, but then he said, as a depressed person, it was a major win as he managed to get out of the house.

If you start small with little steps, you can definitely get over your ex, and a more awesome life awaits.

I hope this helps. This is your 4th December #dontgiveafuck challenge.

Now that we got through the WHY, let’s get to the HOW. Go to my old article which helped tons of people:

How to dominate post break-up trauma i.e. how to get over your ex


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  1. Sebastian - December 19, 2013 2:24 pm

    The pain from a breakup can be so much fuel to do awesome things. I literally started boxing, singing, playing guitar and writing after my ex broke up with me.

    I’m so grateful for the experience.

    • alden - December 20, 2013 1:35 am

      Haha it’s always the case. That’s how you learn and grow from broken relationships.


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