Are looks that important in life? How to get over the idea that you think you’re ugly

I answered this on Quora recently.

The question was:

I am an ugly guy. No girls even look at me. I feel like I have to live my life alone and sad and it makes me think negatively. How can I move on from this? What should I do?

And my answer:

Here’s a story of one of the relationships I had. It was with a model. Yeah, she appeared on magazine covers, TV and a bunch of advertisements. A bunch of guys would message her on Facebook everyday telling her how beautiful she was. I too, felt she was really beautiful.

But she turned out to be one of the most toxic people I’ve ever known in my life.

She looked down on people.

She was extremely rude to the cab driver, waiter and other customer service staff.

She slapped my face a few times. I’ve no fucking clue why I put up with that shit then.

She was rude to her parents in front of me. You’ve no idea how awkward it is to stand there, and then see your girl say, “Fuck off” to her own dad. It was like whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Oh and she even made insulting remarks to my late dad.

Most of all though, dude, trust me when I say this:

Models and other good-looking people who base their life on looks and other superficial bullshit are the most insecure people in the world.

She spent a shitload of time gossiping and talking about other models. She’d talk to other model friends about how that other model is a bitch who had a bad nose job, boob job or whatever and therefore she was a fucking cunt who was probably did not deserve the casting job of some shit.

She’d always show me pictures of other model dudes and tell me how good looking they are.

She’d party and then tell me about how she met some rich dude who oh my goddddddddddddd opened a bunch of champagne bottles and drove a Lamborghini.

All of this… are fleeting bullshit that don’t ever last and have no real value to one’s character if you’re only attracted to what you see outside.

And that’s how a lot of superficial, fake assholes work.

They’re only attracted to superficial crap and then they focus on trying to look good with superficial crap because they have nothing going on underneath.

Why do you think she acted like such a bitch?

Nobody is truly so dumb that they don’t know how to be nice.

Every attack is a cry for help. When you act like a total asshole to somebody, it only shows what kind of person you really are.

And what did she do when she had no outlet to act like a bitch?

She’d cry.

She’d be overwhelmed so much by her own guilt and whatever that was lacking that she’d cry.

That was why when it ended, she was literally begging me to get back together with her.

So what has this all got to do with you, who thinks is an ugly guy and doomed to live alone forever?

Dude, first, you need to know that looking good has a lot to do with character.

Sure, physical appearance make for a lot in life, but real beauty comes with character, a good attitude, respect for others and a positive outlook on life.

I know, that’s a fucking cliche, but look at this this way then:

If you’re always angry and pissed off, you’re ugly. Nobody wants to see that shit.

If you’re constantly shouting, you’re ugly, and also really uncouth.

If you’ve a pretty face, but you constantly say, “Fuck you!” to somebody, you’re ugly, mean and scary.

If you’ve a nice body, great facial features and nice clothes, but constantly drunk off your ass, you’re ugly.

If you’re somebody who tries to act all kawaii and shit just to get your own way, well, that’s just god damn annoying.

Get the picture?

Stop thinking that you’re handicapped just because you think that you don’t look good.

Many physically attractive people out there today look ugly from time to time, and that really says a lot about them.

Do you really think a sane person would stick to somebody just for their looks alone?


Only a loser would do that. And yes, there’re loser guys out there who do this. I know of guys who fall for working girls from a sleazy joint and then think that they’re in love even though he’s giving her a ridiculous amount of money. You don’t want to be in this position. You’re better than that.

That said, what makes you think good-looking couples are happy together?

There’re many unhappy couples out there today for whatever reasons, good-looking or not.

There’re people stuck in abusive relationships and they’re DYING to get out and be alone. I know because my own readers email me and tell me about it all the time.

See how lucky you are?

That’s the truth about beauty and dating dude. It’s not what you think.

Good looking people, attractive people, models, or whatever the fuck you want to call them, they’re people too, that means to say, they all have their ugly moments.

Stop putting them up on a pedestal and stop looking down on yourself.

Now here’s another honest truth though:

It’s all on YOU baby.

If you think you’re ugly, then you gotta do what it takes to change that.

Change only starts with you. If you don’t want to help yourself, then no one will help you.

If you simply want to whine and feel sorry for yourself only, then you’re creating the problem man.

Make a fucking change today!

Anybody can look good if they want to!

Work out. Go to a gym. Diet. Stop eating and drinking so much shit.

Buy nice clothes! Throw away your old shit. Keep up with trends!

Get a hair cut! Tweeze your nostril hair. Do something about it if you’re balding.

Learn to speak well too.

And you know fucking what? Go for plastic surgery if you want to. Fuck what others think. If it’s going to make you feel that much more confident and happy in life, then go for it.

The responsibility to be better is in you dude.

But yeah, just chill you know? Looks aren’t all that in life.

Keep pushing yourself to be better, but remember to take a step back from time to time and remember who you really are.

Hope this helps.

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1 comment

  1. self improvement - March 17, 2016 12:48 am

    Hi, I love reading your post, it’s always been very interesting and helpful. No one is ugly, it is just in our mind, we are all unique in our own ways and you are right, change should come from within us. let’s just do what we have to do, be happy, stay positive, don’t live based on others opinion, be yourself, improve your life, count our own blessings, be grateful and live your life to the fullest. Thanks for sharing an awesome post. Thumbs up! great read.


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