In my journey I connected with a bunch of other entrepreneurs to you know, network and shit.
And nothing annoys me more than all the clichés that comes out of our mouths.
This post is for all entrepreneurs, bloggers, writers or whatever. I’m sure you can relate.
Note: It may be in your best interest to not take this shit so seriously.
Well here you go,based on my 2 years of fucking up.
Annoying shit entrepreneurs say
1. “TGIM!”Screw Fridays. We got to thank god it’s Monday instead!!!! Yes! A week of work!
Fuck the other days. Don’t thank god for them.
Because Bams help all entrepreneurs emphasize some point they’re trying to make.
3. “I’ve been waiting for this”.
I clearly remember a fellow entrepreneur telling me this. He said it right after I expressed interest… in joining his team at Empower Network.
Seriously guys, when someone says he’s been waiting for you, it probably means he’s glad to take your money.
They were not waiting and watching over your life like the Eye of Sauron. They don’t care about your life that much.
4. “It’s all about making the sale”
Direct-response marketing is the way to go! Screw everything else.
5. “It’s all about following your heart and helping others”
So… how do we make money and sustain ourselves? Is selling wrong?
6. “I meditate”
Why is the whole fucking world meditating today?!
7. “I love failure”
… Do you not love victories and winning stuff?
8. “My biggest fear is that I will never be challenged again”
Seriously? Don’t you fear like… oh I don’t know… natural disasters, getting robbed, cancer, falling sick, losing a limb, being set on fire, tight spaces, lions, bears, heights,getting paralysed and losing all movement, being cheated on, being alone forever, monsters, ghosts and other real shit?
9. “I don’t celebrate my birthday. It’s just another day where I work on my business”
Well excuse me Mr. Super Hard Worker. The rest of us normal dudes who love our birthdays are going to get a drink. And cake. A lot of cake.
No seriously, can you please get a life?
10. “You have potential…”
THIS IS ONLY HALF THE TRUTH!
All coaches, mentors and whoever are actually omitting, “and you’ll realize that potential when you pay my low, low fee of $$$ to continue this consultation”.
“If not, fuck off”.
11. “We’re gonna have to make this quick, because I don’t normally come on Facebook. I won’t be here tomorrow.”
Oh shit! An online entrepreneur doesn’t use the #1 social networking site in the world. Better pay for his consultating package soon!
This actually happened to me. I didn’t bother replying after that.
I saw him on Facebook the next day.
12. “You just have to do [insert specific tactic] and you will get [insert extremely specific result]”
Let me be a little serious here.
All entrepreneurs, when they are out to teach their shit, they can and will only teach what they believe in at their point of time.
They can never teach you how the state of business works. It is always evolving.
So thread lightly. It’s cool to learn some new shit, but sometimes you got to follow your gut.
13. “I travel and work where ever I want”
14.” My home office is just my laptop, my couch or sometimes my kitchen haha!”
Omg, please stop it!
15.”I’m a thinker of life and world enthusiast”
What is it exactly you do again?
16. “I only need 5 hours of sleep. I’m also an early riser”
Well good for you! Some of us are not Robocops like you!
17. “It’s not about the money…”
Please don’t even…
One look at your blog and I see a “Details of my $300,000 launch last week” under Most Popular.
18. “Your list is too small. It’s gotta be like 100k”
Oh fuck… for real? Okay.
19. “You don’t need a big list. I mean, would you rather have a tiny list of 500 and have like 400 buyers or 100k with no buyers?”
The answer is obvious. Stop doing that mathethical mindfuck bullshit on me.
Do we need a big list or small list?!
20. “I love life! Name 3 things you’re grateful for today!”
The fact that I can unfriend you on Facebook. Ultra grateful.
21. “It may be the weekend, but I’m still in the office. Everyone else is out enjoying themselves, but I’m still hustling!”
Whoa come on! The rest of us like our weekends.What you got against us man…
22. “Oh, oh. I see it now. I know for sure what is exactly wrong with your business… You are not using the law of attraction mindset”
This actually happened to me. Guess that makes me an outlaw.