It’s with great fear I’m writing this.
I just got back from my 2-week trip to California. It was a blast. I stayed in San Francisco with some relatives and we drove to LA and Vegas.
Most importantly, my mom had a lot of fun. She was so happy and she deserved every bit of the fun she had.
And that’s where my fear comes from.
It’s a mixture of coming home after spending 2 whole weeks with my family. Saying good bye to people and a place after so long has its toll on me, especially since I’m bad with good byes. My mom has gone back to work now, and I feel so sad that she has to work so hard just for us, while here I’m just trying to follow a dream.
It’s my fear that I still cannot achieve what I want in 2013, that is to be truly free of financial worry and being able to give my mom the lavish lifestyle she deserves.
That’s the look ahead. But as I’ve written in my previous email to you all, I’m not giving up and I’ve already set my resolutions. There’s a lot to come soon for this blog, so stay tune.
Anyhoo… it was one hell of a 2012. I’ve come a long way and late as I’m with this post, I decided to pen out my thoughts of that year.
Hope you guys can get something out of it.
3,100 subscribers, 50 over guest posts
My initial aim was simply to hit a thousand subscribers by the end of the year, but I managed to get 3,100. I definitely surprised myself there.
Takeaway: Set your goal, then don’t think about it. Think about executing the smallest step first. It’ll accumulate and probably surprise you.
Meaningful connections online
You guys are more than fellow connections I made online. You guys are friends. I always look forward to talking on Skype with you all and telling you guys my problems. It’s nice to know there’re people who are just like you.
Takeaway: Hang out with positive people only, people who can fully empathize and will never judge you. Also, there’re real people out there who do crazy stuff like following their dreams like you. Don’t think that you’re alone.
First paycheck ever arrived!
Still far from the dream of a big fat one, but damn, I love it!
Takeaway: This money was the result of 1 year of hard work. Yes one frigging year, from starting my campaign in guest posting, gathering subscribers to recommending products to them. It may take a while, but don’t give up.
I’m still a bitch
Or a nicer way of putting it, I’m extremely human.
As personal as I’m on my blog and as much positive I want to spread and help you with, I still have my flaws.
I can be extremely vindictive and sensitive at times. Hell I can be pretty angsty too.
This is a love-hate thing to me. On one hand, I want things to go my way, on the other hand, I have trouble letting go of certain things. As a result, my idea of a solution is to simply push shit away and be done with it (lots of deleting of friends on Facebook).
Sometimes, I catch myself wondering, “Why am I being bothered about the same shit that bothered me back in school?”. It makes me feel like a kid.
Takeaway: At the end of the day, the solution for most problems in life is to simply let go. Try not to have a firm grasp
As much as you want to live life to the fullest, you need to catch up
At the start of 2012, I got back to my part-time job as a club bouncer. I felt great. The money felt okay then and I was working on my blog every day. Good mix yes?
It’s now a year later and everything has changed.
I’m tired most of the time at work. I’m also tired with the blog sometimes even though I’ve made a lot of progress. I got a girlfriend now and I just want to be with her always.
Also, I turned 27 last year. 27 suddenly, really sounded old to me for some reason. I feel like I got to really step my shit up today, or I’ll never make it.
Takeaway: Life keeps on going, whether you like or not. Also, your priorities WILL change along the way. So always be prepared. But try to be happy along the way…
I love my family
This is us in Vegas.
My mom had a blast this year. I’ve never seen her so happy. This trip was a lot better for me too.
Takeaway: I wish the best for all of you, that you have the fortune of having a good family. Family is blood, and no matter what, they’ll always be there for you. Love your family.
Although I feel fearful and get overwhelmed by self-doubt from time to time, although I’m not filthy rich or the best Bboy in the world, although I’m not in society’s eyes, considered a great example of stability, I collect memories.
The way I see it, no amount of money, stability, employment, career prospects, popularity can ever take away permanent visions etched in my mind.
They’re with me for life and I intend to keep it that way.
So when I’m old and dying on my death bed, I can look back to them.
“What if?” will never enter my mind.