Well, it’s 30th December right where I am now. In a couple of days we are going into 2014.
Crazy fast. Another one of those, “Where did the time go?” moments.
A lot of shit happened for me this year. It has been crazy I must say. I hope it can inspire you somewhat.
Going full circle with this blog
I started this blog in August 2011. Yeah, did the whole “quit my job to follow a dream” thing.
I didn’t know shit. I just wrote my heart out without any direction, which in hindsight possessed a very valuable trait.
But at the back of my mind, I knew I wanted to make money online, so I decided to learn that shit. I paid for some coaching sessions and I learnt the importance of gaining subscribers and guest posting.
Today, I have like nearly nine thousand subscribers on my list. And I spent almost the whole of this year fucking them up with stupid ass affiliate offers. Yeah. I was pushing hypnosis shit, mind alchemy shit, random eBook shit.
I even joined Empower Network (some MLM shit) for the second time again and it wasted my time and money.
It pissed a lot of people off. And I barely made any money with anything.
I also became super unhappy, and I stopped having fun with what I was doing.
So around October this year I was like, “Fuck this shitttttttt”. And told myself I was simply going to stick to what I was good at: Writing.
That’s all. Nothing more, nothing less. I now spend more time writing and reading. I don’t worry about marketing or anything to do with business any more.
The lesson: So what’s the big fat fucking deal? Doesn’t this sound like some typical, “Follow your heart” fluff, which we all know is already important?
The truth is, passion and following your heart are really tricky shit. Yes, they’re important, and yes, we already know the importance of them deep down.
But executing them in real life? It can be tough. You may be too distracted, even without you realizing it.
I was obsessed with trying to make money, so to actually say, “Fuck this shittttt” and do what I want is actually a major step out of my comfort zone.
By saying that, I was ignoring all the rules of marketing and even what my past coaches/mentors taught me. Seriously, imagine doing something you really want, but it literally goes again a, “No! Don’t do that!” by someone you look up.
It’s harder than you think.
But… that’s what you need to do. Get out of your fucking comfort zone. Cause outside of it, is where you grow and become more awesomer.
And guess what? When you do that… you’ll get more results. You will get more of the results you want to see, and you’ll have more fun at it (cause you’re doing what you want).
It may sound bloody counter-intuitive, but that’s really how it is.
Whatever it is you want to, people can see if you’re really in it, or whether you’re just another sheep following the rules and shit.
I feel like I made a major step this year, though it took me more than two years. But it’s all good. I believe it led me to this, which is extremely important to me.
So stay tune for more writing by me.
My new book is still in the works. Expect it in January.
Around June this year I started experiencing a bunch of fucked up symptoms that came out of nowhere.
I started feeling pain in my shoulder. I became breathless very easily, even after a walk from the bus stop to my house. My heart kept beating very fast, even when I was in bed. I experienced random muscle weakness in my legs. I kept itching throughout my body.
After about three weeks or so, I lost about 7 Kg. I became a fucking twig. All my friends were shocked.
I lost all Bboying movements. I couldn’t do a thing as I was too weak. The biggest shock for me was when I couldn’t do a single chin-up, which was devastating as I had no problems doing chin-ups since I was like 12.
Finally, I went to to the doctors, got a blood test done and was diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism. Basically, my thyroid gland was sending out too much of a particular hormone to my body (yes you have a thyroid gland and it sends hormones out) and it caused my body to work against me.
But it’s all good now. I’ve now on medication which controls everything.
The scary as fuck lesson: First, shit can happen out of nowhere. Seriously, I thought I was dying. If you start losing weight in such a short period, it means you got to be careful.
I was panicking. I felt uncomfortable with myself everyday. It really doesn’t feel good.
That’s not to say you should be paranoid as fuck and stop living it up. But you should do yourself a favour and take little steps to be healthy.
Exercise once a week. Eat fruits. Cut down on that beer a little.
Most of all, if you think something is wrong, trust your gut and go see a doctor. Do what’s right for you. Your friends and family are NOT doctors. As much as they love you, their good intentions are based on their own experience which cannot accurately help you.
At that time, I merely saw some shitty, local doctor who lived near by and got some antibiotics. There was also dengue fever going around, so once the doctor cleared me that I didn’t have it, I was like, “Oh okay, I guess I am fine”. I also had friends and family telling me I “should” be fine by now as I was eating a little better.
But no. I went to the doctor anyway, and I’m glad I did.
So trust your fucking gut. You can’t go wrong there.
After everything, I was still worried, paranoid even. You see, I thought I was done with Hyperthyroidism after a series of medication. But no. Apparently I’m stuck with this for what seems to be the rest of my life. I’m on long-term medication now.
It hit me like, “Wow, I’m not even 30, and I am one of those guys who has to pop a pill every morning after I wake up”.
That scared me.
I did some research on my own and it is said stress is one of the factors which causes thyroid diseases. And me being a naturally angry-as-fuck dude, I was hit really hard.
I kept thinking like, if I got this shit before 30, what am I doing to get before 50? A stroke? Cancer? Some random ass shit that’s going to fuck me up again?
I was really paranoid. I don’t want to die young. I want to travel the world, get married and have kids and shit.
But I let it go. I am okay with taking meds everyday. I just stopped thinking about it so much. Also, like I said, I take little steps to better myself. I cut down on thinking negative bullshit and also refuse to let little things in life get to me.
It’s all good. I don’t think life should be shot down by whatever that’s thrown at you. Technology and modern medicine (with money you can obviously save up with) can help you out. Just set your damn priorities straight.
Then stop worrying about it. Don’t be scared. Don’t be fearful.
I wouldn’t say I’m super thankful that I had to go through with that episode, but I know it has made me stronger. I’m really not scared of whatever fucking thing that can come my way. I got a lot of blessing in disguises from it, so I focus on that shit.
I’ve skipped a total of five weddings this year. And I’m pretty pleased about that.
I really don’t fancy weddings. It’s a wasteful slot in the schedule and money that needs to be given away. It kind of annoys me too that the parties involved see the need to force that self-created importance on others, even though it’s totally legit and understandable.
But I didn’t give a fuck. As much as others think weddings are important or that society has laid on us it’s a “tradition” or whatever we “should” follow, I didn’t give a fuck.
I knew deep down I didn’t want to be there, and so I rejected all invitations.
One particular wedding was also that of a close friend, at least closest among all five. My other friends were encouraging me to go, but I really didn’t want to. I don’t like weddings. Plus I had beef with some loser there.
I think in life… it’s your fucking life. That means to say, you should hold on to your deepest and strongest beliefs. Hold on tight, because it’s easy to let go when your friends disagree and have something to say. Hold on tight, because it’s easy to think you’re “weird” just because you’re doing something different in society.
You wanna know how I hold on tightly and easily? It’s simple. When people are telling me this and that shit about weddings, “Come on man, it’s so and so’s wedding”, I simply reply, “You’re fucking talking to the guy whose dad passed away. Weddings are not important to me anymore”
I can go on and on and debate on the definition of living a life. Yep.
This is also what I believe in and plan to do: When I marry my beautiful girlfriend, I will absolutely not harbour any hard feelings if any friend chooses not to come for our wedding. And if you come and choose not to contribute a monetary token, or gift, I’ll also think it’s absolutely fine. If anyone dares call you a cheapskate for that, let me know, I’ll kick their ass for you.
Don’t come, then miss out on the free booze. It’s fine.
If you want to come, then just shut up and have some fucking fun. It’s all good.
Letting go of friendships
You know something, I think letting go of friendships is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
Don’t hold on to useless friendships. They are useless, and will only bring you down.
Let go when you have to. I don’t think even time or length of friendship matters.
No one, friend or foe alike should ever have control of how you feel.
When it’s time to let go, you let go. Your life will most definitely improve after that.
Staying with the one you love
I’m still happily attached and in love with my girlfriend. She rocks my world and has made me into a better person.
And guess what? I still get retarded questions like, “Why are you dating a Thai girl?”, and it’s usually asked in such earnestness that it makes me wonder if people are just ignorant, racist or judgemental. Or all in one.
Oh, why huh? I don’t know… CAUSE I LOVE HER FOR WHO SHE IS AND I DON’T THINK SKIN COLOUR, CULTURE, DIFFERENT UPBRINGING AND OTHER SHIT MATTERS?
Yeah I still get some flak for dating a Thai girl, not that I give a fuck obviously. All I ask myself is, “Does she make me happy?”. The answer is fucking YES. Bam. That’s it.
I also only get to see her once a month since we don’t stay in the same country. And I love this arrangement. I love my space and I love travelling to Bangkok all the time.
Nothing is impossible when there’s love. You got love? Hold on to it. Be happy. Fuck others.
That’s about it for my 2013. I’m pretty hyped. Last year I was pretty lost. But now it’s a lot better.
Expect huge things to come. I’m always here.