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8 “Friendly” Pieces of Life Advice you should never take


life advice

When I was struggling heavily with this blog, I was confused most of the time. I had an overwhelming amount of information and everybody out there was always willing to teach their own method.

Everything was always so conflicted.

And you know something? It’s the typical, “friendly” kind of advice by the successful person who’s high on positivity that adversely affected me. Their shit can be very misleading especially if you put them up on a pedestal.

As helpful as they want to be and as good as their intentions are, what they say or give you may not apply to you.

Or to put in even more bluntly, what’s good for you may even be bad for you. Let’s get on to the list now.

8 “Friendly” pieces of Life Advice you should never take

1) “Money is not important.” – a highly successful rich person who wants to change the world

I remember looking up to a bunch of cool bloggers who seem to do so many great things. They were practically out to change the world and they were raking in the cash.

More often than not, they would say something like, “Money is not that important! Just follow your heart and money would come.”

Well DUH. I mean, if I was making a million bucks a year, I’d probably be willing to feed that line to anybody.

What if you’re down to your last buck? What if you’re struggling? What if others are dependant on you?

Here’s a better piece of advice: “Money is important, but the bottom line is whether you want to chase it or not.”

It’s extremely ignorant to think that money isn’t important. Think that way and you’d be straight up irresponsible too.

But yes. Don’t worship money. I do believe if you do what you love, the rest can take care of itself, but you need to balance it out and make sure you survive too.

Do what you’ve got to do to survive, then work on your beliefs about money i.e. give in to abundance. You’ll be surprised how, when you don’t focus on the money, it’d come anyway.

2) “Drop out of college.” – random ass billionaire

I think that lately, there’s a trend on this glorified bullshit that education is not important thanks to the billionaires out there who didn’t complete college.

As such, the susceptible young adults out today think that entrepreneurship is all that. They think that you don’t need an education and you can be the next Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg or whoever as long as you have your world-changing, universe-destroying idea.

Again. Bullshit.

A better piece of advice: “Education is important. It’s a privilege.”

Consider yourself lucky that you’ve access to education. So for goodness sake, just get it done and over with. You’ve the rest of your life waiting for you once you’re passed the school phase.

Are you also simply glorifying this drop-out-of-college idea and believing that school isn’t for you to hide the fact that you’re a lazy ass who doesn’t want to hit the books?

But hey, what about those who can’t afford to access a form of education?

Then just do what you have to do. It’s true. You don’t need education to be successful as it will never judge your degree of competence, passion or talents. The onus is always on you. Just take action and don’t let anything hold you back.

3) “No off days.” – a pretentious person who doesn’t know the dangers of being a workaholic 

Man… I’ve no idea how many times I’ve seen people posting on Facebook shit like, “Woohoo while everyone is enjoying their weekends, I’m hustling and bustling my ass off in the office!”

Yay for you. Who cares.

Hard work is awesome, but there’s a god damn limit! There’s something called life!

A better piece of advice: “Work hard. Push yourself. But remember to rest too. Like duh.”

If you don’t rest, you may die. Period. End of story. Literally.

You need to recharge and refresh yourself anyway. That’s when the best ideas come.

Health first. Everything else can wait.

4) “Forgive all your enemies.”a very forgiving person

I won’t argue about the philosophy or religious beliefs behind forgiveness. Forgiveness is a divine thing and it can do wonders for you.

I do however, think that there’s a great misunderstanding in the quote above, so much so that people who are suffering won’t ever find closure, much less peace if they blindly follow it.

A better piece of advice: “Forgive yourself so you can make way for a better life.”

You know what? If you’re still pissed with that asshole or hurt by your abusive ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, then fuck them.

Be your own being and start reflecting. Then forgive yourself, because you need to remember that you deserve a better life and it is very possible to always be better.

Don’t be all forgiving towards everybody even though you know deep down you aren’t ready or because others say it’s the right thing to do. It won’t help. Say or do something you don’t mean, and it’s gonna fuck you up.

5) “Disconnect and stop using social media.” annoying hipster who used his smartphone to declare this on Facebook

Another trend I’m seeing now.

There’s always that group of people who’re totally against social media, the internet or any form of modern technology.

What? I’m bored in the train. I can’t use the phone?

A better piece of advice: “Use social media in moderation.”

Common, frigging sense. Too much of anything is never good for you. Balance it out and use it in moderation.

I can’t imagine depriving myself from the obvious benefits of connecting with one another with the simple use of technology. It’s stupid to intentionally go backward.

But you can however, look around, open your eyes and be present in the moment. You don’t need technology for any of that.

Some of the best things in life are simple, free and basic. So drop that phone, and go for a walk once in a while.

6) “Love is enough.”hopelessly romantic person

I’m just going to say it. It’s not. Love is not enough.

It CAN be enough, but remember that love is mixed with life and sadly, not all couples get to enjoy the prerogative of love being enough on its own.

You know how it is. Money, time, distance, parents, war, death and whatever. Life just gets in the way!

I also find that this quote is harmful when somebody can’t tell the difference between love and obsession. Usually, the latter is in place instead.

A better piece of advice: “Does he (or she) make you happy? If you can always answer yes willingly, you’re good.”

I emphasize, “yes willingly.”

Not, “Yes, but…”, “Maybe” or even “Yeah I guess.”

When you’re truly in love with someone, you’d know it cause you’d feel it. And you’d do what it takes to be together forever. That is when you’d know for sure love is enough for you two.

If not? Then well, you’re going to have to self-evaluate, see what you can do in life and see what life can do for you to truly meet the perfect match. This is a topic for another time!

7) “Follow your heart and the rest will take care of itself.”a well-meaning, yet unrealistic guy

I’m just going to say it here too. No, life is not going to take care of itself much less roll out the red carpet for you just because you’ve passion.

I find that the vulnerable out there bank on this so much that they think that passion is going to solve all their problems.

It’s not.

If passion equates to success, then well, there’s going to be a lot of life-loving hippies who are also millionaires.

A better piece of advice: “Let your passion drive you into action so that you fit nicely in this world.”

This blog was built on passion, so yes, I do believe on some level that passion is all you need.

But you still need to work it.

Want to have a passion business? Make sure you converge what you love with what people are willing to pay for. If your passion is eating Doritos while watching YouTube, I really doubt anyone wants to pay you to see you do that.

Want to simply keep doing what you love? Have a plan already! Passion is not life. It’s an element of life. How is passion going to even exist if you can’t take care of your own life?

8) “Love your body.” a fat ass

I spotted a crack in the whole “no excuses” philosophy where some people willingly argue to justify why they’re allowed to have excuses.

And to take a large (get it?) example, it’s in the weight loss arena.

NO you should absolutely not love your body when you’re fat and unhealthy. You should also not use that as an excuse when you’re simply not willing to put in the effort to change yourself, especially when you know deep down there’s room for improvement.

A better piece of advice: “Be comfortable in your own skin. Be proud of who you are.”

Because comfort is about accepting what you’re born with and not giving in to the pressure the world throws at you.

And because pride is the culmination; the reward you deserve after you know you’ve done what you can to better yourself.

Balance those two out, and you’ve got it good! It won’t matter how you look then.

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2 comments

  1. Veronica Daugherty - July 9, 2014 12:45 am

    This is a great post! I think it is always important to evaluate the advice we take in, to isolate the useful elements and re-frame it, so it applies to our own lived experiences. When successful people try to pass on their secrets, sometimes they oversimplify or understate their process. Sometimes they romanticize their success story in a way that we can’t really follow their path. I like the way you have “translated” these suggestions, so that we don’t “throw out the baby with the bath water.”

    In regards to #6, I’m looking forward to hearing more about your perspective on what to do if my answer is, “Yes, but…”, “Maybe” or even “Yeah I guess.” In my lifetime, I have ended some good relationships because I thought I was supposed to hold out for the one, perfect, true love… the one for whom I would always be able to say, “Yes, willingly,” the one who would always make me happy. Unfortunately, I’ve never found the one perfect partner, but I have learned to accept a few caveats. I think even the best relationships sometimes include a few “BIG BUTS” to contend with… the key for me was to find the partner who tackles those “buts” along with me, instead of the partners who were content to remain stagnant, and unwilling to change.

    Thanks for providing this thought provoking post!

    Reply
  2. Melissa - July 9, 2014 2:44 am

    Yes, have to totally agree with your incite on #3. You gotta balance your rest and work in life or your body will suffer. I got 2 bouts of the flu all within a couple of months due to work overload. Be kind to yourself its the only body you got. Don’t ever put your health second.

    Reply

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