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7 things guys need to stop being proud of

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1) A bad temper

Or a short fuse. These are guys who are quick to anger and they’re proud of it.

This is when bad-tempered dudes revel in the idea that people wouldn’t dare to mess with them and piss them off.

The fallacy is that a quick temper is justified as they try to include the idea of having righteous anger and that it advocates a form of respect, or even charisma.

It’s utter bullshit because nothing good ever comes out from having a bad temper. It’s childish, immature and only reflects how insecure you are.

If a tiny little thing sets you off to the point of you shouting, screaming and wanting to physically hurt others, you’ve got a lot of growing up to do.

A real man is in control of his emotions and recognizes that his demeanor affects those around him. A real man wouldn’t cower from the challenge of fighting counter-intuitive feelings that make them feel shitty and do what it takes to overcome in a logical and rational way.

2) A self-inflated “ego”

I think many guys don’t even know what the hell an ego means and yet they’re still proud of having a self-inflated one.

Having an ego is alright. It merely means having self-esteem and being self-aware of who you really are.

But having a self-inflated one, to the point that you think it’s cool to have others say that you’ve an ego is an immature idea. The very fact that you want others to talk about you only reflects how insecure you are.

Self-inflation brings for the misunderstanding that a guy with an ego is confident with who he is. And that’s bullshit. There’s zero confidence in a little boy who wants others to think or say things for him and about him.

A real man is comfortable in his own skin. Then he takes on life to become the man he wants to be.

3) The number of fights you’ve gotten into

It is a wonder to me when guys regale tales of their “valor” to me. It is a bigger wonder to me that they seem to win every, single fight they’ve gotten into.

If a guy is proud of getting into a fight intentionally, then he is an idiot who thinks violence is cool and he has zero capacity to take on the bigger challenge of simply walking away, like a man. It’s also a grand reflection of how angry and fearful he is of himself as he sees a need to dish out physical pain to others.

A real man uses his words. He recognizes the true consequences violence brings. He knows how to walk away and just focus on his own shit to become super awesome by you know, helping others, inspiring them, making money his own way, raise a family and take care of his loved ones.

4) The number of girls you’ve slept with

I was in a bit of a dilemma to include this point as, during my pre-girlfriend younger days, I was all for having fun and living it up with my freedom as a single guy. I think it’s alright to have all the fun you want when you’re young. There’s no point growing old into a comfortable but loveless relationship while you’re thinking if the grass is greener on the other side all the time.

So, this point is controversial, that means to say the argument for it is polarizing.

A guy shouldn’t be proud of having slept with only one person their entire life while he’s lying to himself all along. This is when he puts up a front to show others that he’s a loyal guy who follows the rules of conventional love (and marriage). And he doesn’t dare to admit that he is unhappy deep down.

On the flip side, a guy should shouldn’t be proud of sleeping with tons of girls if it turns him into a misogynistic asshole who objectifies women and views them as pussies only. I dare say this is how reality gets warped in so many guys, and even girls when they think love is simply a transaction. And yeah, you can bet your ass they think infidelity is okay.

Take note, the former school of guys usually stealthily steer towards the other group. Most of them will never dare admit it.

A real man is proud of his own love life as he does what it takes to get it with honesty and a clear conscience.

5) That you’re a nice guy who finishes last

Way too guys take pride in this. They do it in a subtle manner. They whine, lament and rant about how they can’t get the girl, but then take solace in the idea that they’re nice enough to give up their seat to the elderly.

Being nice is okay, but this is a sheer CRY for attention! You want us to reply, “You’re such a nice guy! I’m sure the right girl will come along.”

Bullshit.

Only losers finish last. You just happen to be a very nice one.

A real man aims for first place and gets what he wants.

6) That they’re part of a gang

Strength in numbers. That’s the false idea a gang brings. Along with that, “street cred” comes along as they indulge in their dumb ideas of bullying others.

No, you don’t get any form of street cred or whatever. Nobody would ever respect you for your gang activities.

There’s nothing wrong with having friends and being surrounded by people who would be there for you. But the idea of a gang? It’s plain toxic.

A real man doesn’t cover up his cowardice by hiding behind others.

7) Your hyper sensitivity

I think gender roles and even stereotypes exist for a reason.

It’s all good that a man today is evolving such that he’s in touch with his feelings and whatever. But there comes a point where he needs to man up and accept the role he’s supposed to play.

That means getting hurt, getting up, dusting yourself and just deal with it.

Nobody wants to hear about how you feel all the time. That’s all talk. A guy can’t cry all the time.

A real man accepts his role.

Do you want more honest-as-fuck stories like this?

14 comments

  1. Sebastian Aiden Daniels - October 7, 2014 7:19 pm

    Interesting points. There is a fine line between being a nice guy and a pushover. Being a pushover will get you nowhere. You will finish last because you won’t know when to fight for what you believe in, if you even have anything to believe in.

    I use to be hyper sensitive a while back. It isn’t a good thing because you stop being true to yourself. No matter what you do someone will not like it and will judge you for it, you just have to deal with it. You can’t please everyone.

    A bad temper is definitely not something to be proud of. Thanks for the post Alden : D.

    Reply
    • alden - October 13, 2014 6:16 pm

      No prob dude! How’s everything going?

      Haha yeah. I don’t think dudes should be THAT sensitive.

      Reply
  2. Kelley H - October 11, 2014 5:08 pm

    A great post. It is a shame that some really bad behavior, like a hair trigger temper, getting into fights and objectifying women is associated with desirable masculine behavior. At the same time traits like compassion, kindness and cooperation are considered “Girly” and de-valued. But that’s another rant for another day.

    Unfortunately aggressive behavior can be misconstrued as action and inflated ego can be conceived as confidence. Both are masks for insecurity but I think you covered that in your post.

    Being “nice” for both sexes so often gets translated into being a doormat and is not attractive for either men or women. I prefer the term “decent human being”. A “nice guy or nice girl” twists themselves into a pretzel trying to please people and then get pissed when they get taken advantage of or are not respected. A decent human being keeps their integrity intact while applying the Golden Rule–do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

    As for being hyper-sensitive, I am all for a guy who is in touch with his emotions but even a woman can’t cry ALL the time.

    Reply
    • alden - October 12, 2014 5:56 am

      Well said. Decency is common sense if you ask me. Sadly, not many people have it.

      Haha and true! I can’t stand dudes who cry WAY too much.

      Reply
  3. bo dean - October 12, 2014 1:17 am

    Thanx for the article. I feel that a guy or girl should do what they say, and say what they mean. when your words don’t match your actions or vice versa your just not cool yo…honesty is best always, … ; )

    Reply
    • alden - October 12, 2014 5:55 am

      Well said.

      Reply
  4. Glinda Bustamante - October 12, 2014 4:22 am

    So true! Very well written and I can relate even though im not a guy lol. Thought-provoking and wise.

    Reply
    • alden - October 12, 2014 5:55 am

      Haha thanks. About time we provoke more thoughts.

      Reply
  5. sreedhar nivarthi - October 12, 2014 11:42 am

    All the seven things are relative attributes as these are exhibited with reference to others. I feel only those guys who R not confident and crave for attention exhibit them. These aspects wont come into play if one knows self and acts. Yes, these aspects need to be taken care of if one is to be oneself and not project what one considers appropriate. B thyself. Thanks for the listing.

    Reply
    • alden - October 13, 2014 6:17 pm

      True true.

      Always something deeper yup.

      Reply
  6. lynne - October 20, 2014 2:50 am

    So true and very informative. Not all guys are the same, some guys should read this article to open up their minds and have a peaceful life. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
    • alden - October 20, 2014 5:50 am

      No prob. Thanks for commenting.

      Reply
  7. Sherill - November 3, 2014 9:51 am

    I definitely agree! I’m going to share this with as many male friends I have to let them know what they need to stop doing!

    Reply
    • alden - November 4, 2014 6:04 am

      Thanks!

      Reply

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