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7 self-help cliches you need to get real with

When people ask me why I write the way I write or why I’m against life coaches and their pretentious bullshit, usually I answer something like, “Because the entire world knows what to do with their lives. Everybody is spewing forth the same bullshit that we think will help one another, but really, sometimes it doesn’t.”

This is when all the cliches and trite crap come about. And it can be more harmful than good sometimes.

I wrote about this issue before when I said we needed to fuck self-help up. Call this a rant, but it’s time again.

Cliche #1: Getting out of your comfort zone

The whole frigging world knows that we need to get out of comfort zone. We know the magic happens outside of where we feel comfortable, probably our own house, amongst friends or close to our mamas.

The bigger question is, who is really daring themselves to get out of the zone, get fucking scared and face the world with the limited abilities you have?

Who is actually putting in the work to make the smallest of change and not brush it off as too minuscule?

That is the difference. The ones talking about comfort zones and shit are the cowards. The ones who aren’t are already feeling afraid and doing stuff. So if you’re too comfortable right now, you’re already doing it wrong.

Cliche #2: Forgive your enemies

This may sound harsh, but sometimes I think forgiveness is the lie we tell ourselves that everything we will be better, that a false sense of justice and love will take over the unhappiness we feel. It’s kind of true if you think about it, especially since people are dishing out forgiveness without perfectly understanding the problem or conflict.

Forgiveness needs understanding, that means to say you need to know forgiveness means forgiving yourself and it doesn’t mean that your enemies got away with it. You can also forgive anytime you want. If you don’t want to, then fuck it. Be enemies. Don’t talk to them. Just move on with your own life. Your enemies shouldn’t even be acknowledged in the first place.

Cliche #3: Meditate

I used to meditate a lot, but that was only because I read online that meditation will literally cure all my problems. No joke. All.

Then I realized you can’t breathe away all your problems.

Meditation is a good form of respite, but you’re only kidding yourself if you think that’s all you need to know. If you’re using meditation to escape your underlying issues, I can guarantee that it will stick with you forever.

Cliche #4: The Law Of Attraction

The Secret is bullshit. Only lazy and weak people will believe in it.  The universe has better things to do than cater to your singular needs.

Just put in the fucking work already. How you want to attribute the results after that is entirely up to you. Just make sure you don’t become so deluded that you start to believe that you’re useless.

Cliche #5: Live your life to the fullest

Nobody can live their life to the fullest of fullest because we all need to survive somehow. Money, work, relationships and emotions get in the way all the time.

To ignore any of the necessities is downright stupid and irresponsible. Don’t believe me? I have real friends who claim to live life to the fullest. They’re the same people who’re jobless and broke all the time. And then they start to take others for granted. This is something you don’t read on blogs by so-called self-helpers and life coaches out there.

You can live your life to the fullest, but you gotta make sure your basics are there in the first place.

Cliche #6: Follow your heart, or passion

And that’d solve all your problems.

Bullshit.

Passion isn’t the golden ticket to solving all your damn problems. [bctt tweet=”Passion isn’t some designer drug.”]

Passion is great, but you still need to put in the work. The same bloggers who claim to make a shit ton of money from their passion aren’t telling you the amount of work they put in behind the scenes. Don’t be fooled.

Cliche #7: “It’s true because I said so.”

This isn’t explicitly said, but most of the self-help world is based on this principle alone. Authors, speakers and bloggers are all trying to make the world a better place by telling their personal stories and lessons.

And honestly, there’s a fine line.

Sometimes… nobody wants to hear it. Nobody wants the unbridled positivity. Some of us aren’t ready to be helped yet, much less by some tale.

Some of us want the research, the science, the facts. Stories can only go so far.

I’m guilty of this as well, but as I’ve written somewhere on my blog before, I’m just a writer who happens to like to help people with my own stories. But what you do from reading my shit is up to you and I don’t give a fuck what happens after that. 

You have to lead your own life. So please get one.

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1 comment

  1. Absolutely Tara - March 25, 2015 7:02 pm

    Hahaha. Love it.

    Reply

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