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50 things you can tell yourself to not care about what others think of you

Long ago before I even started this blog I did up a post on on whether I should give a fuck about what others think of me.

I think that’s one of the most gnawing things in life which affects each and everyone of us. Everyone on this planet, to some extent cares about what others think; how others see you. Unless you have achieved perfect mastery and enlightenment in life, or well you’re just kind of retarded in the head, you definitely got to deal with people around you. What others say, think or feel, how much do you value them in your life?

With that said, here are 50 reminders in life to help in not caring about what others think of you, in different scenarios.

Life in general

1)      “I don’t even know them”– If you don’t know them, what comes out of their mouths, or the stares they give you don’t matter at all.

2)      “They don’t even know me”– You have lived years after years, how can what others say or think actually matter or even come close to accurately depicting your life?

3)      “Other people have lives too” – Those around you have their own lives to deal with. What they say or think of you is but a mere comment. It’s not like they spend their lives thinking  about you 24/7.

4)      “Nobody is truly judging me”- They aren’t. They don’t know you. They may make a snide remark or two, but they aren’t judging you. So chill out.

5)      “I don’t even know what they are thinking about”– Maybe you took a photograph in your head of their ugly faces or seemingly judgmental glares, but you can’t read their minds! They may not even notice of your existence. They are just born ugly.

6)      “Nobody really cares about me”– Not in the, “Nobody cares about me, my life sucks and everybody hates me” sense of course. Think about it, people have their own lives. Even if they made a cruel remark or a snap judgement, are they thinking about it every day? They aren’t. So if they aren’t, why should you?

7)      “I am not going to see them again”- Yes, you are not. The belittling stares or condescending remarks would last for like 5 seconds. It sucks, but hey, you aren’t going to see them again. Just move on.

8)      “He is not a real friend”- If you find yourself too hung up over what your own friends say or think about you, consider that they aren’t your real friends. That can ease the load off your mind.

9)      “I know myself best”- Only you and only you know yourself the best. Others’ opinions ultimately DO NOT matter.

10)   “Just relax and chill out”- Others’ words are mere words. Others’ opinions are unfounded and inaccurate.  Let it go. Don’t let it ruin your day.

11)   “Relax! Don’t exaggerate!”- It’s very easy to go crazy and let your thoughts run awry on what others think of you. This is not healthy and also a waste of time. Put things into perspective. Take things lightly and with a pinch of salt. Don’t grasp things too tight.

12)   “This isn’t going to matter when I am old”- Look far. Think ahead. When you have grown up and gotten a career set, a spouse or a even a family, do what others think of you in the present actually matter? No.

13)   “Life is short”- Hell yeah Life is short. Do you want to waste your time worrying and carrying about what others think of you?

14)   “You can’t please everyone in life”- You can’t. Haters gonna hate. People will always find a reason to hate, no matter what you do. Hence, if someone doesn’t think highly of you, it’s actually not your fault.

 

15)   “I just want to fucking live my life now”- The choice is yours. You do have a life that is special to you, so why let others thoughts or opinions take over?

16)   “They aren’t putting me down, they just don’t know better”- Sometimes people’s opinions may sound hurtful or baseless, but it’s not that they are trying to put you down, they are just uneducated on the matter. Talk to them then. Teach them so that everyone would be on the same frequency.

17)   “I am going to regret wasting my time and energy”- You WILL regret it. How often have you looked back and realize you could have put that time and energy to better use? Stop wasting your strength and mental capacity on what others think. Focus on yourself.

18)   “I am not a product that needs to be approved”- You are human. Not some packaged deal. Do you live for yourself or for the approval and recognition of others?

When meeting new people

19)   “Stop trying too hard”- In making a good first impression. If you try too hard, you are more likely to screw it all up. So just relax!

20)   “He or she has their own flaws”- You don’t know these people at all, you just met them. Even if they seem super cool, don’t let it intimidate you.

21)   “It’s their privilege to know me”- Not asking you to be a cocky bastard, but everyone is special. You are special. Let them know you for who you are.

22)   “He or she isn’t going to know me fully today” – The person isn’t a mind reader. He or she isn’t going to find out about your dirty secrets. That being said, don’t be a dumbass and expose them willingly.

23)   “Just relax, and have fun”- Meeting new people can be fun. Get to know them and just chill out!

When performing on stage

24)   “Even if I screw up, it’s not going to matter later on”- The audience will just forget it soon enough.

25)   “99% of them probably wouldn’t even dare be do what I do right now”- People love to watch and criticise and make dumb comments, but ask them to be in your shoes and they would cower. Revel in that.

26)   “The more I think about what they think, I am going to perform worse”- Precisely. So relax, and do your best.

27)   “Whether I perform badly or not, I am definitely going to take something- Experience is what it is you will bring home.

28)   “I will definitely do better next time”- With experience gained, you can definitely perform better next time round. Treat it as a productive trial!

29)   “They can’t appreciate the art fully anyway”- The audience are filled with laymen who don’t know any better. They might not even know if you screw up!

When going for a job interview

30)   “The more I think about it, the more I am probably going to screw up”– Nuff said. So just relax, and try your best.

31)   “The interviewer is probably just testing me”- That’s right. His evil glare or tough questions are probably just tests to see how you perform in an interview. Don’t take them so seriously, they don’t hate you!

32)   “I can’t read their minds”- You can’t, so don’t go nuts in thinking about what they think about you or your credentials. Answer the questions as best as you can and you will do fine.

33)   “Great interviews are about two-way communication”– If the interviewer is actually talking as much as you, it’s a good thing!

When doing something out of the norm, like quitting your high-paying job to pursue your passion

34)   “They don’t understand”- Others don’t understand or wouldn’t bother to put in effort to. You don’t need to care about others’ ignorance.

35)   “I can achieve something even bigger”- You will. You already have the balls to deviate from the norm. Block out the noise from others and you can soar!

36)   “Naysayers are just afraid or insecure”- Often people are afraid or jealous of others’ success, so they tend to put them down. Don’t let these people intimidate or hold you back!

37)   “Let them waste their time”- Naysayers are wasting their time and energy putting others down. For some reason, they love to waste their time.

38)   “They have no lives”- That being said, obviously they are just assholes and seriously need to get a life!

39)   “They focus on pulling others down. I focus on achieving my goals”- While others are there to pull you down, you can relish in the fact that you rather focus your energy on yourself than on others.

40)   “They are stuck in the matrix”- Others who talk shit about you are simply stuck. They think that having a normal job with a salary and growing old with it is the only way to go in life. And that’s the only thing they know. You know better. You aren’t plugged in anymore.

41)   “Passion is important and it’s awesome that I know that”- Passion IS important. Most others wouldn’t appreciate that so they tend to not understand what you do. Let that feeling consume you when passion comes into place instead and you can go a long way.

After screwing up and making a fool out of yourself

42)   “Oh shit that was funny haha”- Laugh at yourself. Really, go ahead and do that. Poke fun at yourself, have a laugh and feel good about it. It’s actually okay to laugh at yourself!

43)   “It’s not like my sex tape got leaked”- The point is, no matter how embarrassing your screw up is, it’s highly unlikely it’s going to go “viral” and seep into every single human being’s life.

44)   “No one will remember this for long”- Continuation from above, yep. No one is going to remember your shit for that long.

45)   “My dumb friends had it worse”- Think of your other dumb friends and their screw ups. I bet they are way funnier.

46)   “I am not the only one!” – And hence you aren’t the only one! EVERYBODY in life makes mistakes. So don’t go beating yourself up and giving yourself a death sentence.

47)   “Nothing to do but look forward”- Seize the day. Sure, you screwed up, but everything in the past doesn’t matter. Learn from your mistake and use what you have today to move forward.

48)   “Just look at how cool I am by not giving a shit!”- Even after a blunder, you still stand strong and walk with your chin up. That’s super cool and people are going to respect you for that.

49)   “This is going to be some funny shit next time!”- Look at the bright side. After a couple of months, you can be the life of the party entertaining others of your interesting life.

 And the best thing you can tell yourself ever…

50)   “I love all my haters because they spend all that time thinking of me”

My favourite amongst all. Embrace the crap you get from others. There aren’t many in life who would spend so much time and energy just to think and talk about you. As the saying goes, bad publicity is worse than no publicity. At least you have some right? Only the losers got nothing!

Also, just by being yourself, you achieved free rental in others’ minds.

Do you want the ultimate guide to stop caring about what others think?

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52 comments

  1. Darren - November 7, 2011 10:33 pm

    Looks like you have a comeback for almost every thing here 🙂 Nice post.

    Reply
    • alden - November 16, 2011 5:04 pm

      Thanks Darren =). Apply them any of the 50 things and life would be so much better

      Reply
  2. Dave - November 24, 2011 3:28 am

    This is true inspiration for everyone. Nice work!

    Reply
    • alden - November 24, 2011 4:59 am

      Thanks Dave! Davemadethat looks awesome! Love the material 🙂

      Reply
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  5. David - June 3, 2012 9:14 pm

    Alden,
    Just want you to know that you are amazing. For someone your age to “get it” so early in life is fantastic. Be you, that’s all there is to it. The greatest thing I ever heard anyone say was, What other people think of you…is none of your business. Rock On.

    Reply
    • alden - June 4, 2012 2:43 am

      Thanks man!
      Well for whatever time it is, I’m glad you got it too. Things fall into place at the right time all the time, you just have to see it.

      Reply
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  7. Erin - June 27, 2012 4:23 pm

    Hello, just wanted to tell you that what you’re doing here is awesome. Your stuff is inspiring and I hope to see the way you look at life soon. I’m only 18 but I believe it’s important to “get it” early on. Thank you and keep rocking!

    Reply
    • alden - June 27, 2012 8:30 pm

      Thanks so much for dropping by Erin!

      You’re awesome for reaching out, and that inspires me!

      Any time, any age you want to start, it’s all good! It will fall into place for you 🙂

      Reply
  8. Geraldine - June 28, 2012 11:18 pm

    Hey Alden,

    Being your friend and reading this, m!kes even more sense to be right now. (If you know what I mean).
    Ya right, I should stop caring about all the negative remarks people make about me and just move on, unless and only unless I know for a fact that it’s my mistake. Throw out the negatives, take in the positives.

    Love ya,
    geraldine

    Reply
    • alden - June 29, 2012 6:52 am

      For real Geraldine!

      Thanks for dropping by. It can be tough to do so, but it’s well worth the journey. Everyone probably goes through the same thing in life, but some dwell on it too much.

      Reply
  9. Eliz - June 29, 2012 8:32 am

    Waaw, this is amazing, just what I needed. I am an outspoken person, I love talking to people, new or just anyone and i love singing too, I perform at our weekly shows we have on campus, but somewhre I just get nervous that my lips start to rumble, lol….I askd my self y do I do that, and only now after reading this I realised its coz I thought of what the other person thinks of me, and I get scared of saying out things the wrong way that they might find lame or something, plus I am more of a softy, to the extend that I cant handle criticism, hence I spend time thinking about what is wrong with me…which right now I find sou not necessary…thank you so much for all the encouragement, today ll def mark the beginnig of my liberation from people’s inprisonments, its my life, I am no brand that needs approval, I am me, Happy & free to be me:) ….

    Reply
    • alden - June 30, 2012 8:13 am

      That’s great Eliz.

      You said today marks the day of the beginning, so be it!

      Yeah thinking of what others think while performing can be a real bummer. Try to have fun with it 🙂

      Reply
  10. Amanda - July 8, 2012 1:24 pm

    Honestly this post couldn’t have come at a better time. I just quit my job because I wasnt happy and i was stressed and I worry about what they think of me now.

    Thank you for this!

    Reply
    • alden - July 8, 2012 8:59 pm

      No problem Amanda! Email me if you need more help or anything or if you just wanna chill!

      Reply
  11. Taylor - August 26, 2012 4:01 pm

    Hi! I just found this site like five minutes ago and I already feel better about how I want to live and what I’ve been doing to get there. Sure, money is an issue. But I’ve always been lower middle class to poor. I’m pretty frugal and good about not wasting what I’ve got. I keep up with my stuff and that’s how I’ve got so much of it. Also, thrift stores. And I settle for the cheaper brands when buying new. I have no idea why some people can’t do that. Some of the cheaper stuff is actually better and more worth it than the expensive. Anyway, keep up the good work! <3

    Reply
    • alden - August 30, 2012 1:26 pm

      Hey Taylor,

      Thanks for dropping by man. Lol love your story on your spending habits. Just go for it. It’s just money for mere stuff.

      Reply
  12. ravi chakravarthy ramaswamy - September 10, 2012 5:05 am

    50 things to contemplate and act – I like this no-nonsense post very much. It gets me to accomplish various tasks without shame or guilt feeling. Normally shameful acts after Age 40 on account of mental immaturity or overconfidence or dirty gossip can tarnish your image and send you to the asylum. Thanks to Alden Tan for waking my conscious and making me drive out ego and live comfortably.

    Reply
    • alden - September 15, 2012 7:19 am

      That’s great Ravi. Love it. Live your life yeah? Your emails are abundant 😛

      Reply
  13. Amy - September 17, 2012 1:09 am

    Hey Alden,
    Just had a crap morning reading comments about the one thing i have great passion on. First, it felt very disappointing because they don’t really understand the goodness i see in what i do. Thanks for this, man!! It helped make it all better and yeah, true enough, all the shit that people say isn’t worth the time.
    Have a great week 🙂
    Take care.

    Reply
    • alden - September 17, 2012 4:29 am

      Hey Amy,

      What’s your passion? SHARE!

      Well screw them then! Passion is awesome. You got it, stick with it.

      Peace.

      Reply
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  15. Leilani - October 10, 2012 3:24 am

    I only subscribed a week ago, but your emails and posts are truly inspiring me. I LOVE reading these posts, and the emails I look forward to every day.
    This post was amazing, like all the others.
    And the last quote about the haters? That was awesome.
    Thank you so much!

    Reply
    • alden - October 10, 2012 11:27 am

      Thanks Leilani!

      Glad it helped.

      Yeah haters are lame. If anything, at least we don’t spend our time being a spazz online.

      Reply
  16. Evie - October 22, 2012 9:55 pm

    Hi Alden,

    I just found your blog today, and I love your perspective on life. Thanks for the inspiration!

    Reply
    • alden - October 23, 2012 1:10 am

      No prob Evie! Thanks for dropping by!

      Reply
  17. missdjb - December 4, 2012 2:14 pm

    I agree with everything in theory but nothing in practice

    Reply
  18. missdjb - December 4, 2012 2:16 pm

    People expend large amounts of energy just to appear normal

    Reply
  19. missdjb - December 4, 2012 2:16 pm

    Everyone is on something

    Reply
  20. missdjb - December 4, 2012 2:17 pm

    No the snake is not more scared of you

    Reply
  21. missdjb - December 4, 2012 2:19 pm

    I scream just as loud if my foot is brushed by a white pointer or help

    Reply
  22. missdjb - December 4, 2012 2:20 pm

    The secret to staying young is look after yourself & lie about your age

    Reply
  23. missdjb - December 4, 2012 2:22 pm

    The only thing we learn from history is that we don’t learn a thing about history.

    Reply
  24. missdjb - December 4, 2012 2:23 pm

    A rich man is just a poor bloke with money

    Reply
  25. missdjb - December 4, 2012 2:27 pm

    Long live Yossarian!!!

    Reply
  26. Bri - December 19, 2012 6:17 am

    Hi Alden,

    First I think your website is AWESOME :). Me (and my fiancée) have recently started a journey on how to make our lives better, to start setting and getting serious about attracting and achieving the things and goals we want in life, and to become more in touch with our spirituality. For me, in addition I have also been consumed with finding my life’s purpose, and by living ON purpose. Because certain things like permanent employment have been a problem for me in the past & the present, I hate to admit that part of me feels like I’m a failure on some level. And that hurts alot. It makes me feel incompetent, and like I’m incapable of achieving certain things, the same things that everyone else does like finding and keeping a good job. I always ask myself what is wrong with me that I can’t do the same shit that it seems like EVERYONE ELSE is able to do? Like get up, go to a nine to to five everyday and most important, keep the job! In the midst of me feeling sorry for myself. BUT : ) I realized that’s just it- I’m NOT like EVERYONE else. Maybe I’m not meant or built for that matter, to get caught up in the depression, the fatigue, the oppression, and the unfilling spirit of the matrix, which are pretty much the only feelings I feel when doing traditional work- and that’s ok. I’m realizing that maybe I am the entrepreneur that my spirit is telling that I am. I feel that my purpose is to be the person that helps people, that artistically expresses myself. The person that is meant to live a life of happiness, creativity and freedom. Not of conformity and oppression. I’m realizing that if I let society dictate to me how I should live my life, that I’ll never live life my own way. I truly believe that I stumbled upon your website not only for the inspiration that I needed to feel, but to see that I am not alone in feeling this way. And for the words I needed to read to know it is possible to live on purpose and to fulfill my life purpose. And to know that there ain’t a damn thing wrong with me : ) That I need to just need to figure out another road to fulfillment because the previous one isn’t leading me to discovering my life purpose-and that I need to find one that will. Thank you for the inspiration :). Now if I could only turn that purpose into income I’d be a much happier camper! : p

    Reply
    • alden - December 19, 2012 3:29 pm

      Hey Bri,

      Thanks SO MUCH for dropping by!

      Have you seen the interview I did with Nina Yau? She said this, “Make no apologies for yourself”.

      So don’t!

      You’re right when you said that society shouldn’t dictate you. And you know what? When you start your own journey… that alone is going dictate you for who you are. The good and the bad. It’s your life.

      Oh and add in passion in the mix. It’s going to rock.

      Peace,
      Alden

      Reply
  27. favour - February 1, 2013 9:50 pm

    thanks Alden for this great post.i can seriously say i have learnt sometin.but wen i do things in public and i cant do it well it always pisses me off because when i did it in private it was great and when i get another chance to do the same thing i get sad and discouraged so when people make remarks i dont blame them and i fell as if they are saying the thruth although i always pretend like i dont care but i feel as if i’m no good and can only be good in small gatherings or at the presence of few people.

    Reply
    • alden - February 2, 2013 1:56 pm

      Hey man!

      That’s great! Glad to hear.

      Nah man fuck the remarks.

      Great people have great ideas. Average people talk about stuff. Little people talk about others.

      Peace.

      Reply
  28. Jacky - March 27, 2013 2:38 am

    I love this quotes “I love all my haters because they spend all that time thinking of me”. Because it showing love to everybody without unfair and it really can help those people who are narrow mind.

    Reply
  29. Charm - May 13, 2013 11:05 am

    Wow, this is such an inspirational post. The best I’ve seen on the subject so far in fact. You have covered core anxiety-provoking situations with such appropriate comebacks that I feel like a new person after reading this! Well done.

    Reply
    • alden - May 13, 2013 4:56 pm

      No prob. Go make shit happen.

      Reply
  30. Fiona Tay - July 21, 2013 3:12 am

    BOOKMARKING this, Alden! Thanks thanks thanks! <3

    Reply
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  33. Rosita - September 26, 2014 10:09 pm

    After I originalkly left a comment I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added-
    checkbox and now every time a comment is added I receive 4 emails with tthe same
    comment. Perhaps there is an easy method you can remove me from that
    service? Cheers!

    Reply
  34. Cody Mann - January 19, 2015 4:48 am

    This was a great read and had some really good points!! I really needed this article because even though you know it doesn’t matter what other people think sometimes the subconscious makes you believe otherwise. I have to consciously stop myself from feeling bad about things that I have no reason to feel bad about. This is my life so I have to be the one in control, not my ego!

    Reply
    • alden - January 22, 2015 3:06 pm

      Well you can’t control the subconscious, so it’s a matter of how you react to them.

      Reply
  35. Ivano Catto - April 1, 2015 11:43 am

    Thanks for this article. I am really with you in what you said and I thank you to have remembered me that I am following the right path. Life is outside the matrix, we are meant and must be free of creating life out of passion.

    Thanks

    Ivano

    Reply

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