19 signs you’re totally dating the wrong person altogether



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You know that feeling, that moment, when you look back into your past relationships and you’re like, “Wow. I can’t believe I was with her.”? 

I’ve thought of that many times before about my exes. And I’m sure they must feel the same way.

That’s the power of hindsight. It makes you wonder why you do stupid shit in the past. It makes you cringe, laugh and make that face when you take a hard shit. It’s bad. And the thing is, the signs back then were always so obvious. But you mostly stuck to it because you were in love, or so you told yourself.

Time to take those obviousness seriously.

19 signs you’re totally dating the wrong person altogether

1) They swear at you openly

Happened to me before. It wasn’t like we had this repertoire going on where we could swear at each other for fun. It was done out of irritating. She told me to fuck off after I asked a simple question.

If your partner does that to you as and when they like, it means they don’t respect you. They don’t give a shit about you and how you feel. Time to rethink that relationship.

2) They make you wait 

I personally hate people who can never be on time. It’s pathetic how it’s acceptable in this day and age.

If your partner consistently makes you wait for an ungodly amount of time and they don’t even apologize for it, then it just goes to show they don’t respect your time. It also means they don’t even respect themselves because they can’t respect time. Dump them! Waiting around in a relationship is just a waste.

3) They’re always, obviously lying

It doesn’t matter if you have hard proof that they’re lying or not. If you constantly have the feel that they’re making shit up to get their way, then they already failed as faithful partners for making you feel that way.

Why should you ever be a relationship where you always have to be suspicious, only to want to shove that suspicion aside because you don’t want to believe otherwise? The onus is on you then.

4) They break promises and then make up bullshit to justify everything

Honestly, if somebody doesn’t know the importance of keeping a promise, that person isn’t even worthy to be your friend.

I’ve ever had a conversation that went like this-

Me: “You promise that you wouldn’t ever do such a thing.”

Her: “So?”

5) You’re both fighting everyday

Everyday? Come on…

There’s a fine line between trying to work through a hard time and fighting everyday.

Because you know… everyday? Come on…

6) You’re both fighting over innate things

Innate, small, little things that don’t matter in the long run? Come on…

7) You’re constantly cheating on them

For whatever reason you think you’re doing it for, you’re going to have to seriously re-evaluate the whole relationship.

A bad marriage, a crap partner, a lack of excitement, bad timing or whatever don’t cause infidelity. Infidelity causes infidelity. That’s it.

By the way the keyword here is “constantly”. I believe a couple can work through a bad episode of infidelity. But if it keeps happening, then there’s a real need to find the seed of unhappiness.

8) They cheat on you

See above.

9) They want to kill your passion

Someone who truly loves you will never try to take away what you love.

10) They try VERY hard to change you

It only means they can’t accept you for who you are and they want to sculpt an image out of you so they can find a reason to love you.

11) That being said, you’re trying to find a reason to love

If you’re listing out pros and cons and shit, then you’re missing the entire point that love is a feeling.

If a relationship isn’t making you feel the good stuff, then what else is there?

12) You’re just… PISSED OFF

Scenario #1: You got mad at them over something they did. Okay fine. Work through it. Then feel better.

Scenario #2: You got so mad that you’re thinking of calling it quits. This is still normal. Call it quits or try to work it out.

Scenario #3: You are just so mad all the time…

When you think of your partner, you automatically feel angry and upset. You equate him or her to everything that annoys the fuck out of you. Like for example, they remind you of your abusive boss, whose face you want to bash badly.

You just thought of punching your partner. This happened to me before. A girlfriend back then said something really mean that turned her face into a really ugly one, like even Swamp Thing looked better. I could not forget how ugly she became and how upset I was.

Time to re-evaluate. Too bad I didn’t.

13) Your friends

Your friends are the signs. Their third-party perspective provides insights you cannot ever see clearly.

There is a fine line though. You know best for sure since you’re the one in the relationship. But you could be blinded by your own feelings, so you don’t listen to your friends.

What I think is, if one or a few friends tell you something, perhaps you can brush it aside. But if fucking twenty friends are adamant on the fact that your relationship is just bad, it’s time to listen.

14) You’re constantly thinking if the grass is greener on other side

Trust me. I’ve been there. It led to infidelity.

You know you’re with the right one when you don’t ever care how green the other side is. You just love your own grass. Fuck the other grass.

Lol pardon the seemingly sexual innuendo there.

15) You can’t immediately answer, “Yes” when asked if you’re happy

Sorry, but answers like, “Maybe…”, “Yes, but…”, “I’m not sure right now” and “I’d be if she…” don’t cut it.

Love is a god damn feeling that’s going to make you shout a resounding yes all the time.

16) You personally hate what you’ve become because of the changes you made 

I get it. A little compromise here and there comes around.

But one day if you find yourself unhappy with all the changes you made in yourself, then I think you’re with the wrong person. Your partner should elevate your intrinsic awesomeness so that you can say, “I’ve truly become a better person.”

17) When a single element is taken away, you aren’t sure if you still want to be with them

For a prominent example, let’s use money.

Take away money. Do you still want to be with him or her? If you answered no, then you don’t love them.

Damn it. Again! Love is a feeling! Not some circumstantial bullshit.

18) You beat them. Or they beat you

Spousal abuse is not cool. We all know that.

But I think that, whoever in the relationship has gone to the extent of being physical, then you’re absolutely not with the right person.

Anything physical, big or small means they’re out to humiliate you.

19) They only bring negative vibes

-Ever had your partner come in the room and they bitch up the whole place? It’s like you were happily doing your own thing and then all that happiness disappears immediately because they start to find some problem with whatever. Then you two fight.

-Ever find yourself jumping for joy when they have to be somewhere else and you’re like, “Yes! It’s going to be a good day!”?

If any of the above happens way too much, you’re with the wrong person.

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  1. Felicity - April 13, 2014 3:54 pm

    Hey Alden, thank you, this is an awesome read, great stuff. You are absolutely spot on with these 19 reasons. Been there, done that and experienced all of that shit. I am extremly happy being single, I will find love when I am well and ready, so for all the people in crap[y relationships heed the telltale signs and advice, it’s your choice to stay or to run for the hills .Haha

  2. Felicity - April 13, 2014 3:55 pm

    oops… crappy


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