16 signs of the Modern Coward


The coward today isn’t somebody who backed down from a fight, refused to walk into a haunted house or said no to facing the dragon.

Those times are long gone. We don’t live in a Game of Throne-esque world where going to a bar means getting into a fight.

The coward today can be dressed in a suit, speaks a little too well, shows the world  that he can fit in and above all else, makes sure that he doesn’t do anything different for fear of upsetting people with who he really is.

I think we’re all victim to this and we’ve met such people. We call them friends or family even. It’s a gloomy fact of life, but a fact nonetheless.

It’s best you always rise up to face your challenges and dump the other cowards from your circle.

16 signs of the Modern Coward

1) He fears honesty

He isn’t just dishonest, he fears honesty completely. The Modern Coward knows his true character isn’t worth a damn to others, so he lies and creates a false image for others. And this is to elevate himself on an illusionary pedestal to tower over others.

The Modern Coward is basically deluded as he revels in his own fake world. He lives in it and will die for it.

2) He avoids strong people

Because he knows he has an inferiority complex towards good, honest folks and fears that they’d call him out on his bullshit. He’d not be able to hide and fight back that way.

The irony is that he secretly admires and looks up to strong people, but he ends up trying so hard in the wrong direction.

3) He hangs out with weak-minded people he thinks he can take advantage of

And so, the Modern Coward preys on weak people instead. He acts super nice towards them at first and bares his fangs later on as he starts to extract favours like borrowing money and then never returning.

Have you ever had friends who loves to hang out with kids who are like ten years younger than them? That’s the Modern Coward doing his work. I’ve encountered such people. It’s both weird and disturbing.

4) He manipulates words to manipulate people

In other words, he uses all kinds of flowery bullshit to get his way. He knows there’s nothing much to show for in his character, so he banks on the fact that talk is cheap and uses empty words to get his way.

A coward needs words to show off. A brave person just takes action and make shit happen. His achievements would speak for itself.

5) He never apologizes

Mostly because he doesn’t dare to right the people he has wronged.

It works two ways: Firstly, the Modern Coward fears punishment. Secondly, he does not dare to look himself in the mirror for he thinks he has become a monster for screwing up so many times.

Alas, assholes do not apologize.

6) He lay blames on everyone and everything else

He does not dare to face the truth that he’s a fuck up. It has to be someone else’s fault, so he thinks.

I’ve fallen out with friends who have blamed me for the most ridiculous bullshit ever. It’s disgusting to know that people you considered friends would stoop so low. It’s pitiful to know that some people around you are brought up that way. It’s the folly of us honest folks who give too many second-chances.

7) He makes up excuses and confuses excuses for reasons

As tough and unforgiving the world is, I think most of us honest people can accept a reason or two, especially when it’s out of anyone’s control. But excuses have to go right out the door.

The Modern Coward is always ready to cook up some excuse and then swear by them. They can’t ever shut up and accept the fact that they fucked up.

8) He buys into mainstream excuses and thinks it’s ok because everyone else believes the same

Take for example, the lame idea that the Friendzone exists. It fucking does not. The coward wouldn’t dare to ask the girl out, but then comforts himself and pats himself on the back because all his friends believe the same. That’s a circle of cowards and the coward vibe won’t die off soon because no one dares to do a damn thing.

A brave person wouldn’t give a damn about what the whole world believes in. He reads, hears and takes in all kinds of knowledge. Then he rejects what he doesn’t want and takes the reins. He makes shit happen.

9) He’s a crybaby and creates drama to hide the fact that he fucked up badly

And then he hopes that the drama would distract others from the fact that he needs to man up, apologize and right the wrong. Sympathy points are the currency here and he wants to make you pay.

I once broke up with a girl who made a grand mistake. Before I found out, she broke down and cried uncontrollably like out of nowhere. When I asked her what was wrong, she literally said, “Oh you know, there’s just so much drama in my life.” That’s it.

It was only a bit later when she confessed that she fucked up. The crying and giving an excuse for the crying was totally unnecessary and cowardly.

10) He likes to put on a show. And it has no ending

Picture this: I used to have a friend who was a first-class Modern Coward.

At a party once, he got pissed with some dude and wanted to start a fight. All he did was kick his chair aside, stood up and stayed put. No fight ensued because everyone else helped to quell the situation, not that it really needed any quelling. I knew he wouldn’t dare to do anything.

A few months later, we had another party. Said dude and his friends were invited. The coward of a friend found out and started asking the rest of us, “Hey. Oh my God. I heard they’re coming. If anything happens you’ll back me up right?”

Honestly, if you can’t face the consequences and end what you finish, then don’t act like a fucking moron in the first place. Don’t be a coward.

11) He’s a bully

The Modern Coward is a bully. Straight up. That’s the equation. Cowards have a void in them and instead of facing their problems to better themselves, they take it out on others.

On a serious note, for people who feel that they’re being bullied, don’t be afraid. Stand up for yourself. Bullies don’t ever win over you. Don’t be afraid of both bullies and cowards, whatever form they may take.

They’re only suffering. Seek help. People are willing to help.

12) He seeks validation online only

I may be a little biased here, but the reliance on social media for social validation has gotten out of hand lately. People think that likes, shares and comments are what makes a person.

That said, the Modern Coward takes the easy route online and tries to build their persona or avatar that way. He doesn’t dare to face the world and do real, tangible, hold-in-your-hand shit.

Online is easy to get your message out there, but if you think that’s where your entire life is, then you’re a coward.

13) He doesn’t dare to take on a challenge alone

Because to a lot of people, alone is bad. Being alone is apparently too scary. You shouldn’t try something on your own. You ought to always seek help or get the green light by someone who proved he’s successful.

Just like seeking social validation, the Modern Coward lacks confidence entirely in what he’s capable of.

But it’s all bullshit. There’s nothing wrong with doing something and fucking it up at that alone. You shouldn’t need someone to hold your hand all the time. You can’t spread your wings and fly that way.

14) He’s a passive aggressive little bitch

That’s when he thinks he can get away with sarcasm or subtle nonsense. This is when the coward is constantly updating his Facebook status in annoying ways that make no sense.

In other words, he doesn’t dare to come clean. He thinks he’s always gaining the upper hand with his childish antics. He doesn’t.

See how the Modern Coward is also attention-seeking? Instead of approaching the matter at hand like a man, he decides to sulk about it. Bitch.

15) He fights back not because he’s right, but to cover up his flaws

I’ve had arguments with friends who’d start insulting me and bringing up my shortcomings as a way to divert from the main point, which is their fucking up in the first place.

Imagine trying to get them to see your point of view only to get a retort that goes like, “SO WHAT? How about that time you [brings up the past and everything unrelated to the main topic]”. And the Modern Coward is extremely defensive here.

16) He feels he can’t go back

I know it can be tough to face reality especially after you mess up so bad that you think nobody is going to forgive you or believe that you can change for the better.

I can bet it’s also tough to forgive yourself.

And the Modern Coward doesn’t want any of that. He just continues the self-destructive path.

But you know what? Here’s some tough love: Stop being a coward.

Everybody fucks up, and it’s entirely up to you to make the positive choice to become a better person. You might as well do something right, for once.

I certainly hope you aren’t a coward.

You’re a winner, yes?

If you want to be a winner in life and start doing shit you love, click here! 


Want More Honest-As-Fuck Stories Like These?

Then Sign up for my free book here to stay in touch with me! 12 Things Happy People Don't Give a Fuck About! Become happy as fuck so you can do shit you love.


We respect your email privacy


  1. Kat - August 4, 2014 2:20 pm

    Alden – I’ve been reading you for a few weeks now. This is the best post so far. Our CEO fits the description so closely (as does my ex)!! Thank you for putting it so clearly.

  2. Sebatian Aiden Daniels - September 30, 2014 5:53 pm

    Haha. As usual your post has made me laugh while also being honest and real. I think my favorite is the bully one. It is so true that those people tend to be cowards deep down, or not even that deep down. They have to push others down in order to make themselves feel better. They prey on the weak so they can feel superior to them. It is quite pathetic.

  3. Bisofrance - April 27, 2015 3:37 am

    You nailed it! That’s my husband; entirely!!
    Thank you so much for painting a clear picture for me.

  4. Anne - May 8, 2015 6:06 am

    This describes my ex so accurately, all 16 traits. Thank you for helping to confirm my thoughts and assumptions about him. My only regret is that now I have to go through the forgiving process of forgiving myself for allowing my self esteem to reach an all time low with this little racist coward piece of shit. He had me fooled for a while and I should have run as soon as his true colors showed through. I’m recovering my self worth all over again. Thank God he’s out of my life. I almost forgot how a real man treats a woman, but it’s all coming back to me rapidly. I’ve moved on better, wiser and stronger than ever.

    • May - December 28, 2016 5:30 am

      Wow!!! I’m in the same situation as u!

      Thank you for putting my mind into words

  5. bnbnb - May 10, 2015 8:47 pm

    Oh so a girl it’s a coward because she had the fucking audacity to cry and let her feelings out. Remember people women are not allowed to be women anymore and she must emulate a man in every sense and word to be “respected” what a lot of repressive BS. You are better off with another man who acts just like you so that there are misunderstandings, differences or whatever sets your ridiculous “coward’ alarm off..

    • alden - May 12, 2015 4:58 pm

      Coward = as an email lol

    • Peter Brooks - August 13, 2016 9:54 am

      The point was that she didn’t tell the truth. The fact you associate it with her being a woman is bullshit. Apparently you think women are supposed to be passive aggressive and dishonest.

  6. Georgette - May 11, 2015 6:49 am

    seems like someone struck a nerve with bnbnb. what happened there? i do not understand it but seems like a defensive rant

  7. Katherine Lynx - May 22, 2015 6:35 am

    I checked my inbox twice, and the download didn’t get there. is there something I should do besides putting in my name and email?

  8. Olivia - July 2, 2015 5:14 am

    This. Article. Is. Glorious.

    Hit every mark with the coward in mind, as well as a great self-assurance these types of people are ones who can take their pathetic ways elsewhere.

    • Rickey - July 25, 2016 10:14 am

      Much agreed

  9. Nina - August 15, 2015 3:49 pm

    Dear Alden

    You are right about what you wrote. I have encountered people who like you described more or less. I am a woman and HSP and a social empathy, who is suffering so much in today’s society. It is nice to read thoughts like yours to feel that I am not alone.

    Thank you,


  10. Anonymous - October 14, 2015 2:43 am

    When I left my ex, he was doing the latter few things all the time (bitching online, on social media, trying to get people to hate me, feeling sorry for himself, etc…). He’s played sneaky tricks trying to confront me. He’s posted ads under my name and given my parents’ home phone number to mess with me.

    I want him to come to the f*king doorstep of my new BF, and watch his brains get knocked out of him. But he’s too much of a COWARD to do that.

  11. Fizz - October 15, 2015 2:19 am

    Alden- Thank you for sharing this article, it fits some people I know perfectly. Pls allow me to share this in my website blog soon. Thank you so much! Cheers

    • Cade - February 6, 2016 6:56 am

      I complain about life online on Facebook. More so now then before. I cry and can be intimidated easily but I stand up to people all the time. I face my issues alone and accept them or try to and complain online not for attention but in a way to cope I guess. I looked this up and found I may have things in common with a coward according to this article.Maybe I misunderstood therefore question that I’m a coward or not but I have alot uncommon with being a coward. Feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t make u a coward to me and everyone at some point has a tough time accepting reality at one time ill just assume. I don’t really have a point in this and I think that’s obvious.Just wanted to share some thoughts I guess.

  12. manoharjoshi - March 23, 2016 7:57 am

    Simply beautiful article. Self explanatory. You can see many people like this in the society. They are no good or useful to anyone. It is better to avoid such people.

  13. David - March 23, 2016 12:47 pm

    Yeah, I totally hate those people who are obsessed over likes, doing things like reposting mainstream news where nobody cares or posting sexual contents that takes no originality just to guarantee them the tide of likes

  14. Van - April 4, 2016 4:47 pm

    This really hits home for me. 15 out of 16 things on this list describes how I am living my life right now. I AM A COWARD. I will no longer be in denial about this. It is staring me right in the face and I can’t ignore it anymore.
    Thank you for writing this article. I can’t even begin to explain how much this has helped me realize the bullshit I was so blind to.

    You have a talent for helping people see the truth. I will admit that I was initially uncomfortable with your tone on this blog–but that was simply because of MY OWN INSECURITIES.

    You have helped me tremendously.

    Thank you Alden!

  15. Vodeeohdoh - April 4, 2016 8:15 pm

    might be better without all the sexist language

  16. Shahad - May 10, 2016 11:44 pm

    Very nice article Alden,
    Also there’s more sign of a Modern Coward, when you have a bff and then you leave them for some problems they spell all of your secrets to every one, i had a friend like that once, it’s very childish and disgusting behavior.

  17. Jesdez - July 4, 2016 8:20 pm

    I usually avoid conflicts so i stayed humble all the time until recently it’s too much so i had to act. My ex best friend is exactly as described above, heck i wouldn’t know her true colors until i decided to defend myself so i had to cut all my connections to her because you simply can’t trust those kinds of people again. Can you believe it, i trusted her too much and shared too many personal secrets to her and without second thoughts she shared my flaws to others to ruin my image just to gain what she wants then created stories and play as the victim to have our other friends side with her.

  18. Jon - July 30, 2016 8:11 pm

    This describes type A personalities so well.

  19. N - August 2, 2016 1:34 am

    I really relate to most of these personally. I’ve been a coward for my whole life, and have been fucking up way too often recently (past three years). While I am definitely not as bad as some of the people you have known (not stroking my ego, being honest), I am definitely getting there and I have more than enough self-awareness to see that and enough of a conscience at the moment to feel shitty about it, yet not enough to try and change. This article hit me deep, you bastard. I think this, and a series of other hits recently, are starting to help me wake up. I need that extra push from inside now, but I’m honestly on the fence. Sometimes, I feel scared; other times, I see reason and tell myself it can’t be worse than what’s been happening up till now.

    Alden, I want you to know I hated reading your article because I felt like shit while reading it and that I hated you for writing it. I hated your tone, your words, your writing style, and your disdain for everyone like me, myself included of course. I hated the whole world in the moments during which I read your fucking article. Most of all, I hated the fact that you understood why I am the way I am, while continuously rejecting everything that feeds into my weakness. Your honesty left me feeling powerless, you asshole.

    However, your article helped me face the truth as well as realize that I need to change, so thank you. And while I still feel animosity and a seething hatred towards you, it will go away after some time and change into something positive. My narcissism and emotional bullshit will become manageable and hopefully, my depression will stop being my prop to excuse myself with. Hopefully, with a little work, I can make these lasting changes happen instead of waiting for time to fix them.

    Whether or not you have a “Who the fuck is this/What an asshole” reaction isn’t in my control, nor is it my business. I’m sorry if my honesty has hurt you. But you need to know that while you helped me, you also delivered a (well-deserved) blow to my gut. You need to know I felt like the worst person alive while reading this.

    So thank you, but fuck you too.

    I’m gonna read more of your blog, see if there are values that I can pick up so that I can put them into practice.

    • N - August 2, 2016 1:45 am

      By the way, I don’t really think that getting hurt is a bad thing. It’s clearly not, if it helps me see the better paths in life. So I do mean it when I say thank you, Aiden. I just wrote “fuck you” because it hurt and because what you said was true.

      I’m not taking it back because it would be fake to do that. I just feel that if you’re going to communicate with me and other readers on a deep level, and that if I’m going to comment back, I might as well be 100% honest with you about how I feel at the moment.

      I just want it to change is all.

  20. Maz - August 15, 2016 12:14 am

    Thank you for this

  21. Kowsalya Saraskumar - September 6, 2016 1:14 pm


  22. / - November 1, 2016 5:08 am

    who hurt you

  23. Nino - November 6, 2016 8:12 pm

    Wow this is true

  24. Joe - November 19, 2016 12:25 am

    A number of the situations you talked about sounded a heck of a lot like things I either witnessed or was involved with, with the details omitted. Really good post, but I don’t know if I’d call all this someone being a coward, more like a manipulative bastard.

    The saddest part is the type of people you’ve described end up being the people that are in charge of things and naturally end up in control of almost every organization like governments, business, or what have you. It sucks that these traits are friggin rewarded instead of punished. Maybe one day these people will gets what’s coming to them right? One can dream…

  25. Zu - November 29, 2016 5:39 pm

    This modern coward sounds like Donald Trump.

  26. Zu - November 29, 2016 5:41 pm

    This modern coward sounds like president elect Donald Trump.

  27. Kris - December 9, 2016 3:56 am

    Wow!! This is exactly like my ex lover and friend from work. Still till this day he displays such coward and childish antics. Everyone including myself is pretty sick of it. Thank you for this treasure. I was abused and bullied with no understanding from him as to why. I kept thinking I did something wrong so I kept bleeding myself to reconcile. This has helped my healing process and I humbly thank you

  28. Anne - January 23, 2017 12:15 pm

    Interesting read. I have to admit that I do see a couple of these traits in myself, and I think that if we’re being honest, so do most of us. I hide my real self to be liked so much that I sometimes wonder who I really am at all.

  29. Zoe - January 30, 2017 1:41 am

    Omg!!! Incredible article!! This is my ex all the way.. he was a coward in our relationship til the very end and a coward in his career as well!! Amazing!!!

  30. Aaron - January 30, 2017 3:21 pm

    You raise some interesting and valid points. If I could offer one constructive criticism? Clean up the language a bit. Swearing is most effective as punctuation when used very sparingly. Check my blog if you want, titled Content Under Pressure:
    greetings from Canada


Have your say