15 things to tell yourself to calm the angry monster in you

I think everyone can relate to me when I say that angry, negative thoughts can be a real problem.

It’s like, you’re just going about your day doing mundane tasks like having a simple shower, and then you remember that one incident from long ago. You know, the one where some dude cut you off on the road, some asshole hit on your girlfriend, some annoying friend showed up late or your boss decided to give you extra work for no real reason.

It’s unfair. It’s annoying. It’s boiling hot rage that spills over your entire life.

We’ve got to stop that spill. It’s an everlasting effort. It ain’t worth having your day ruined over a single thought about some idiot or unfortunate event.

Here’s 15 things to tell yourself to calm the angry monster in you

1) “Breathe.”

Of all the advice out there, to breathe is the most helpful and common of all. When you catch yourself thinking too much negative shit, just breathe. I say instead, before you breathe, think, “breathe”. Feel that breathing then and let it all out.

2) “Is THIS helping me now? No…”

Both you and I know the answer is no. No help, benefit or anything good comes from it. So relax. Breathe. Let it pass and move on.

3) “He/She is suffering too. They don’t win. Ever.”

Whoever pissed you off never wins. They don’t “one up” you or got away with it. They’re probably having a bad day too. Don’t be angered by such people. Pity them instead. Offer help even.

4) “I don’t have to take this personally because it has really nothing to do with me.”

You don’t have to take things personally. It’s not an attack on you and neither do people have an agenda towards wrecking your life. So relax.

5) “Calm down. I don’t want to get a heart attack/stroke or [insert other horrible disease].”

I personally don’t think this is a stretch. Anger can lead to a lot of crazy shit. You don’t want to get any of that. Even if you’re young now, you might as well start learning to soothe that angry monster. You never know what can happen to you next time.

There may be no real scientific connection, but I’m sure my anger issues have led to my hyperthyroidism, which is a long-term thing I’m dealing with now.

6) “This is not me.”

The real you isn’t the angry person who’s going out of control. You aren’t the monster. You’re the angel or whatever inside somewhere. Let that manifest itself more.

7) “There’s no need for revenge… you know karma will get the bastards anyway.”

A quote by Ajahn Brahmavamso Mahathera,  a Theravada Buddhist monk.

Quell those angry thoughts. Destroy those thoughts of revenge or getting back at them. Let karma do it. You just go be awesome.

8) “I’ve got many other things to be grateful and happy for.”

You do. I bet you do. Remember them. Focus on them.

9) “It’s only a trigger thought.”

I find that a lot of stress and suffering comes from one, single trigger. It could be a hateful email, a sentence, a noisy crowd or the bad weather.

Now, if it’s just one, you can easily flip it around and get yourself triggered in the positive direction. I mean, if a hot girl asks for your number out of nowhere, you’d probably be happy as hell.

So, why not think up some crazy, amazing shit and be happy in your own world?

10) “Paranoia is a waste of time.”

Usually, our angry thoughts escalate because we get paranoid. Say a friend insulted you. You then think about how you want to kick his ass. You then think you may lose the fight, which pisses you off more. You then think about your revenge plot of taking a shit in his shoe outside his house.

It goes on and on. You may think it’s only rational, but it’s a waste of time. Stop the paranoia!

11) “If you don’t  have the courage to cross the line, you wouldn’t have the courage to come back.”

I think a lot of anger comes from pseudo unfulfilled desires. E.g. You want to beat up somebody out of spite. But you don’t want to get in trouble. So you don’t do it. Yet, you still keep thinking about it.

Of course, it’s a waste of time since you are not even doing a thing about it, which in this case is a good thing.

If you don’t have the courage to cross the line, you wouldn’t have the courage to come back. So don’t bother thinking about it. Just be positive from now on.

12) “I’m not average.”

I’ve written about it before. Reacting negatively, angrily or wanting to bitch about things is extremely easy. That’s what average people do.

Do you want to be average like the rest of everyone? Or rise up and achieve all your goals instead?

13) “This is useless.”

Rage is useless. Excessive anger is useless. You know what else is useless? Garbage. You throw them out of the house all the time, so why leave them inside you?

14) “What would my loved ones think of me if they see me like this?”

You know for me, when I get angry and shit, I think about what my little nieces and nephews would think of me if they ever see me like that. They’d be disappointed, scared even.

So do you want to disappoint your loved ones? I doubt so. You’re not that person anyway. Why give the world a fake show?

15) “I’m better than this shit.”


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  1. Tebz - July 15, 2014 8:02 pm

    Thank you, I needed this.

  2. nirmal - July 16, 2014 5:11 am

    Thank you..Good Post…

  3. uma - July 16, 2014 10:43 am

    Was mad at every one and every thing at sight for the last few days. Felt better after reading this post.

  4. stella toh - August 6, 2014 9:58 am

    needed this n what you say is very true n i do have a short fuse when i feel i am wrongly judged


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