11 signs you’re hanging out with a fake friend


Okay I think this is a serious issue. Fake friends are always out there and they’re detrimental towards your environment and well-being.

Fake friends are not real, meaning they don’t give a fuck about you or their friendship with you. They’ll make use of you and annoy the hell out of you.

Two things will happen when you hang out with fake friends:

The first is that you guys will eventually not have a friendship at all because you’re either sick of his shit or he’d disappear with your shit.

The second is that the fake person grows up and changes for the better, which by then is honestly probably not worth it at all because you’d have suffered years of his bullshit.

I’ve had fake friends before and whenever I look back, I wonder why I put up with so much nonsense especially since they were nothing but pathetic losers.

Check the 11 signs. Take note and start doing something about it.

11 signs you’re hanging out with a fake friend

1) The fake friend always uses specific, choice words to make you feel good for no real reason.

And it’s all nothing but flowery bullshit especially since a normal human would use simple words.

“I couldn’t have done it without you” comes to mind. A friend told me this once. Done what? Something super easy and mundane. Don’t fall for this bullshit.

Another one would be, “I actually considered you for the role”. Noticed how talk is created after all is already actually said and done. Hence, notice how talk is cheap?

The fake friend exploits this. He knows that words are easy to make and can be used to manipulate unassuming people.

2) The morning after the fake friend gets seriously drunk, he’d remember the things that went his way. He will conveniently not be able to remember the annoying shit he does

A friend and I experimented with this when we were younger.

We didn’t bother sending a drunk friend home once. The next day, he was very angry that we didn’t look out for him.

The times we put up with him and told him the annoying shit he did? He’d be like, “Haha oh my god! I was drunk! I so don’t remember anything! I’m so cute and funny!”

Well he didn’t actually say that, but he certainly ravelled in the attention.

The idea of not remembering the night before when you’re drunk is absolute bullshit. Even though you’re drunk, you’re still able to make conscious decisions. I know so from real, first hand experience. You can’t remember the smaller details, but you can still recall most of the night.

If you have a friend who’s constantly getting drunk and making use of that, he’s a fake. Steer clear. Just do a disappearing act when he has had imbibe too much.

3) The fake friend spins a tale out of his otherwise simple ass job

I once went out with an extremely pretentious girl who described her job as, “I’m in charge of making calls to potential clients. It is up to me to keep gathering prospects for the company so that deals can be closed. A lot of money is involved.”

Bitch was just a telemarketer. She made $8/hr.

Work is important. Everybody has to work, but only the fake people see the need to show how important their work is to others. That’s when they start embellishing everything if their job truly sucks.

Or, if their job is pretty prestigious and commands a high salary, they’d only be talking about work most of the time. That’s when they shamelessly try to compare salaries, number of hours worked or what cars everybody drive.

Do you see how the fake friend only looks at people as a set of status and numbers?

4) The fake friend studies extremely hard to be current with the news

That way, he or she can appear sophisticated, when they’re not. They also do this to try to fit in with a different crowd.

Ever had a friend who’s not into politics, but at the bar he seems to very well-versed in a couple of lines and names? He did his homework.

This happened to me once. The girl I was with recited the same, exact line to two different groups on some current news piece on that day itself.

A fake friend will never care about deeper issues like, you know, passion, personality and stuff.

5) The fake friend always exaggerates everything and borders on lying to make himself look good

That is when you’re like, “Hey, that’s not what happened.”

And then he turns the whole group against you as he makes the joke about you.

This happens way too often to many people, but we tend to brush it off even though it actually bothers us.

Don’t put up with this shit, especially if the joke’s on you. There’s a limit to how much noise an empty vessel should make. Don’t make up excuses for a friend. Be with friends you don’t have to question at all.

6) The fake friend NEVER follows up on anything

Because he knows talk is cheap. And his weak character isn’t brave enough for real talk.

This is why fake people are so good at disappearing acts or coming up with a ton of excuses. Promises will be broken and you’ll be left it in the lurch.

If you noticed, the fake friend usually talks the most during social situations with alcohol present. It’s just way too easy to put on a positive front when everybody is drinking.

7) A fake friend is a broke friend

Because he’s all, “Blah blah blah” and then, “Could you lend me twenty bucks?”

Or, “I got this man” then disappears when the bill arrives.

He will never pay back. The fake friend is not ready for the real world and will never get off his ass to get a job.

8) The fake friend makes it easy

Come on man. Deep down you know your friend is fake. It’s that nagging feeling telling you that your friend really isn’t your friend.

“He annoys me”, “I guess I can tolerate him a bit more…”, “Oh he’s actually a good guy” or “I’m not sure why I always hang out with him, but oh well” come to mind.

The signs are all there. No one is dumb enough to not see it. But because you want to seem like a good person, you justify way too much for the fake friend; you always give the benefit of the doubt.

That being said, the fake friend is hence also dumb because he thinks he can get away with it.

9) There is always ambiguous shit-talking behind your back

Ever been in a social circle where everyone is always willing to tell you who said what about someone? And then it eventually leads to you?

Somebody would probably start with, “Hey man, I heard he said that about you” or “Oh what do you think of him? and eventually, you’d be accused, “I heard you were talking shit behind my back?”

Or more laughably, “Why did you tell everybody my secret?” when obviously, the fake friend was telling the whole world his “secret.”

If you’re in such a circle, guess what? All your friends are fake. They’re only alive because of the gossip.

10) The fake friend is overly nice to everybody

Being nice is cool. Being overly nice is not. It’s common sense.

You just know that there’s a chock full of hidden agendas somewhere there.

I’m not just talking about people who are only being nice to get a favour in return, but do you see that overly nice people fall under not following up on anything?

Perhaps they lack the balls to say no, but whatever it is, the fake friend has crossed the line into becoming fake as they don’t know the consequences of being a Yes Man to everyone as they think they can get away with being nice through words only.

11) You have friends, but you feel like you don’t

It doesn’t matter how many likes you get, how many followers you have or even how many people you see everyday.

When you feel alone while being with people, something is wrong.

When you have to sigh and shake your head whenever somebody tells you something, something is wrong.

When you’re unwilling to do somebody a favour because you feel they don’t deserve it, something is wrong.

When you in need of help and your “friends” are nowhere to be found, something is definitely wrong.

Best to change the environment. It’s fake. Time to get back to a reality you deserve.

If you like what you read, support my work right here at Patreon!

Want More Honest-As-Fuck Stories Like These?

Then Sign up for my free book here to stay in touch with me! 12 Things Happy People Don't Give a Fuck About! Become happy as fuck so you can do shit you love.


We respect your email privacy


  1. Jessie - January 28, 2015 12:19 am

    Man, this makes so much sense and it’s true. Would be nice to include some tips on how to actually end a relationship like this. Often enough, people do recognize that they are involved with someone who doesn’t appreciate you, and only cares about themselves, but then we don’t know how to end it. After all, we’re invested and we care right? Real tips and stories about that would be a good read!!

    • james burkhamer - November 12, 2015 6:10 am

      I say Take it head on with them face to face but if they are insecure then they will want to fight you for stupid reasons so do it over facebook or the phone and then cut all talking with them today I had two friends who I thought were friends until I realized they did all of these things well the first kid since I can’t use real names I will use fake ones like bob sudently stoped talking to me when I was also hanging out with ted well ted was saying things to bob and bob was saying things to me well both of them were mooching money and tons of food off me now it is one thing if any one comes to the door hungry they don’t leave unfed but when you don’t even have any thing to eat and they have a big plate of noodles and then you hed back to their place right after then they eat a big meal with tons of extra and say well you can’t have any because my dog may want some later even though the dog is fed and the food bowl is full you just need to get the confidence and say enough is enough and if they are dependent on you and then they will become mad and want to fight so you can fight them or just use facebook the phone and then ovoid them or if you can’t then you will have to fight so go to shane fazen fight tips and learn self defence so you can protect your self

    • miriam - February 8, 2016 5:02 am

      same they re over nice
      never there when i need them
      there all these things but i really wanted to know how to end it

    • I agree how do you end a fake friend ship??? - December 23, 2016 8:14 am

      I sholl would like to know how to just stop socializing with a fake friend, I feel like my friend I socialize with is fake, she always claiming broke when others are spending they money, but yet when she by herself she has money, but among other friend she watch us spend. Isn’t that fake, like the passage was saying a fake friend be to nice and that she is. Got to watch over nice people, isn’t no such thing as being extra nice just to hide your fakeness, help I need help on how to end the fake friend ship

    • Jake Jacoby - September 5, 2017 3:58 am

      Sometimes, a good, stern “fuck off” does the trick!

  2. El j - March 24, 2015 2:26 pm

    My so called friend fabian says a bunch o shit that he doesn’t do when I txt him which I really fuckin hate cause it’s gay but he won’t answer his fuckin phone even though he’s always txting his girlfriend around me but if I txt him he always ingnore s my txt calls and messages I know he’s fake we went to a show because ppl like me I scored some free comedy tickets and gave him one on the day of the show he took his girlfriend and pretended he stayed home he was supposed to take me fuck him with a capital f

  3. jose - October 24, 2015 9:16 am

    You put too much feeling into this write. I do believe it could’ve been writen without the underlying anger/agression.

  4. Pingback: 11 Signs You’re Hanging Out With A Fake Friend

  5. SICKandTIREDofLIARS - October 14, 2016 2:28 am



  6. Lazy Poptart - October 26, 2016 6:46 am

    This sadenss me cuz the only close friends i had only used me. When ever i got food and opened a bag she would feel free to take some with out asking. I share sometimes but when u dont ask, it pisses me the fuck off. She even wrote me a letter saying her own opinions dont matter and that if i dont text back to homework related texts and she gets an f its my fault. She always call me rich and makes every call me that, yes i have money but thats because i work my ass of to get it. She called me a spioled brat, makes me throw away her lunch. One time i was really uncomfortable talking to a teacher about a question and i even told her that and she dragged me, yes dragged me down the hall and onec i punned her against the lockers for my own defense she gets my phone from my hand and i have to retrieve it from her hand, ahe also threatened me that if i left and i didnt tell the teacher my question she should not be friends with me anymore. I dont know why i didnt leave her in the dust before.

  7. Lazy Poptart - October 26, 2016 6:51 am

    She made me throw away her lunch. Never asked if she could get my food and helped herself. She said her opinions didnt matter when it came to texts with homework i didnt respond to, she also said if she got an f it would be because of me because i didnt respond to her homework questions. She physically dragged me to a teacher i didnt want to talk to against my own will. She was my only “friend.” Oh and she also shit talked wayyy to much, mind this we are in freshman year of highschool..

  8. Kassy - January 16, 2017 12:33 am

    Hey I just read this post. But what if you’re the fake friend?
    What if you’ve realised you have tendencies to be fake? I have just realised this. I don’t want to be.
    Could you do an article on the flip side: what to do if your are fake?
    It’s all good and well slamming and dissing fake people but wouldn’t it be helpful to mention how to get out of these bad habits of promising things that you know you won’t do, etc?

  9. Belle Miles - January 25, 2017 6:37 pm

    This is the first post I’ve read on your blog but YES. All of this shit is so true! Especially the current events one. It’s almost like they memorize news blurbs in order to compete in conversations. It’s even worse when they do almost all of these…

  10. Zero, Still Better Than You - May 16, 2017 6:18 pm

    Here’s another thing that should be commented. Fake friends always put themselves in a “irrelevant position”, like if their interests are only a “bonus”, part of a whole subject that usually they try to make you think YOU are the one really interested and, specially, the one that will benefit from it. This way them can get “benefits” like if it was a normal thing. These things can go from being the first to know things, getting laid, nudes and everything related to THEIR interests and not yours. Just pay attention… Do you have a friend that really likes to receive photos of/talk about your body? Next a good guy tries to be around, pay attention to the way this old “friend” will discuss the subject. People are rotten, liars, betrayers.

  11. Hamza Tariq - June 18, 2017 7:17 pm

    Yeah i have a friend with whom i’ve been together for like 7 years.He only sees my text,reply when his interest aligns,will say he’ll come but always ditch the scene with lame excuses,i get irritated and annoyed with and i always feel lonely,when he is with me he never talks and says he prefer texting,when i advise him he say why do u care.Yeah all my friends are like this,they always use me but i can’t help because i am a social animal i need someone to talk to and for somereason i think people hate me.Im already 19 and still have no real friend.Don’t know what to do im sad,dont know how to find real friends.

  12. Denirs - July 22, 2017 4:41 pm

    I live in a small town and my friends live close to me..They drop in unannounced and expect me to provide food and drink…and I mean booze…I always have beer and wine…because that’s what me and my boyfriend like. It will be gone in an evening. I had a birthday party for my boyfriend one year…My neighbor fake friend invited her friend and her friends 3 children without ever asking me…I didn’t even know the person she invited…She even invites people over if she’s just stopping by my house. She is always texting someone or talking on the phone when she’s at my house, while she’s drinking my wine…Then there’s our other neighbor, He’s always looking for a shot of whisky..which I keep in the cupboard. He will get it out pour everyone shots oh and he thanks me! I cook a lot! My favorite is pasta. The one day he was over he said he wasn’t going to eat because he was sure I would be serving something carb laden…meaning full of carbs.
    Well lately they have become upset with me..haha! They don’t want to stop over and visit because I drink wine and cook too much pasta! It has been so nice! I have time to myself! and my wine isn’t running out!
    I recently found out that the two friends I mentioned above were going out to a restaurant with a few of our other friends….My and my BF were not invited…..When I asked my fake friends about it, they said they were just going for wings. and still didn’t invite me….So, I went out with my boyfriend, which we hardly ever do,..we had a blast!
    I think I like being left out of my circle of fake friends! They got rid of me because I like wine too much! Even though, I have a very responsible job and have never had a DUI. They use to be up my ass every weekend and even week days…I’d go to bed cause I had to get up in the morning, they would keep partying with my BF.
    So, here is how you can lose them! This is how they got rid of me..Thank God! Ignore them, have something else you have to do. If they come over, You were just leaving to go see your mom! Don’t answer texts or calls. When you go out, only have enough money on you, for you, and don’t bring your card! If they can’t use you they will go away…..or just do things that annoy them…This article was very good and I can relate!

  13. Ashutosh - September 27, 2017 2:51 pm

    Hey can I ask wat to do if ur whole friend circle is fake Nd u cant live without em all . please tell.and also they will tease the shit out of u . If ur in high school. Please i seriously need some advice

  14. Endi - October 20, 2017 1:15 pm

    They is only only one sign that I find usefull the others are like written by a fake friend


Have your say