There’re simply too many list posts out there that claim to make your life better because they say so.
They’re alright, I guess. But it’s mostly cliches and cliches are blind to people because we’re sick of it.
So here we go. 100 fucking unlikely tips for a meaningful and happy life. Yes, some of them will make you cringe, but with pain and discomfort, you learn something.
You’ll also disagree with some of them, but that’s the point.
1. Be honest and tell your friends what they need to hear, not what they want to hear. Do it even if it means the end of the friendship.
2. Go on a first date expecting to make a new friend, not a new partner in life or even someone to sleep with that night.
3. Decide carefully if you actually want to go to college because in today’s day and age, there are several alternatives you can go for instead.
4. Stop using Facebook. If you feel like you can’t go all the way yet, delete the mobile app first then.
5. Train yourself to down different types of liquor.
6. Have the balls to break up with a relationship that is going nowhere even though it’ll hurt like hell.
7. Get religion. Then get out of it. You can then know for sure if it’s truly for you.
8. Go home once it reaches 2AM and after you’ve had a few drinks. It’s not going to feel fun at all, but you’ll save a lot of time, money and potential hangover.
9. Decline and skip all weddings. Celebrate love for yourself, not others, especially if you don’t really know them.
10. Don’t live with your girlfriend or boyfriend before you guys get married. Tell them to go the fuck home. It’s the sure way to get on each others’ nerves early on.
11. Have sex with at least seven different people in your life. You don’t want to grow up and not be able to differentiate between lust and love. This is a very easy trap to fall into. Whoever says otherwise has not been around much.
12. There’re no guarantees in life. The only real guarantee in life is death itself.
13. Don’t masturbate daily. Google the benefits.
14. When somebody is too nice to you, be careful and DON’T be nice back. They usually only want something out of you.
15. Fuck up and fail as fast as you can. That’s the only real way to succeed.
16. “If it works so well, why would they teach?” Hence, do not listen to people who make a living out of teaching you something they could actually be doing.
17. When somebody asks you to buy them something while you travel abroad, don’t bother. It’s an inconvenience that can potentially disrupt your entire trip.
18. Do not loan or give money to your partner. Money can and will strain relationships.
19. Follow your gut and judge people all you like. It will save you a lot of time and wasted effort from the get go. For example, I personally will not continue a conversation with anybody who is rude to the waiter.
20. Conversely, put yourself in a position to be judged in your work. That is how you stand out from the rest who are always playing safe.
21. Close the YouTube or Spotify window. Open Calm.com
22. If you believe the customer is always right, you’re an asshole. If your employer believes the customer is always right, you need to quit and get the fuck out of there now.
23. If your girlfriend or boyfriend constantly gets drunk and expects you to take care of them all the damn time, just dump their bitch ass already.
24. If you’ve a bully, stand up for yourself and kick their ass. They’ll most likely cower down and you get to see them for the weak person they truly are.
25. If you’ve a bully, chill out. It’s not the end of the world. It’s highly likely you guys can be friends in ten years or so. That means to say, it’ll be all good.
26. Get into a long-distance relationship at least once. You’ll truly know how hard, yet workable it can be for yourself (and not others.)
27. Google doesn’t have all the answers. You don’t want to be that whistle blowing guy who thinks he knows it all just because he read some clickbait headline, watched some conspiracy documentary or got his answers from Yahoo! Answers.
28. Go to a gay bar. It’s fun, flattering and eye-opening.
29. A person who judges somebody for his or her tattoos is a racist, because skin color.
30. Hook up overseas. It’s one of the biggest thrills in life.
31. There IS such a thing as stupid questions you stupid fuck.
32. Don’t make fun of girls who put on too much makeup. The people who do are the insecure ones. At least they put in effort to look good.
33. Lose your virginity already, even if you need to pay for it. It will boost your confidence. I’ve come across way too many virgin guys who allow woman, any woman to have power over them just because of their lack of knowledge and foresight.
34. Be the guy who laughs at his own joke even though no one else does. You’re the happy one.
35. “Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just show up and get to work.” In other words, even if you feel shitty and tired, you’ve to do the work.
36. People like to say “Dump your toxic friends”, but also don’t forget, “Dump your toxic family.” Some moms, dads, brothers or sisters are not capable of love. Dump them.
37. Be afraid, uncomfortable and downright scared in your heart and soul. That is how you create real art.
38. Forget every fucking thing you’ve learn in school. Learn on the job. Be humble.
39. The best piece of relationship advice I’ve gotten from a friend is, “At the end of the day, follow your heart and do what you think is right. Ignore what others say and don’t take their advice, not even mine.” Let it be so for you too.
40. As painful as it sounds, death and tragedy in your life will create meaning for you, so much so you’ll be pulled out of darkness.
41. If a friend gets offended by a joke you cracked and acts all bitchy about it, he is not a real friend to begin with.
42. Strictly speaking, there is no true love. What you feel and experience with someone is the peak of what you’re able to feel at that point of time. That said, there is always someone better waiting for you.
43. Buy insurance for if anything, a disciplined form of saving money.
44. Don’t listen to people who claim they function on four hours of sleep a day. Sleep all you like. You deserve to.
45. NEVER believe what a life coach has to say.
46. Nobody cares about your groundbreaking idea. See if it works first or if there is a demand for it at all in the first place.
47. Inspiring and helping kids is all good, but remember to distance yourself from them. Why? Because kids are still kids and they’re stupid. They can always find ways to cross lines and piss you off.
48. You’re never too busy. If you want something, you’ll make time for it.
49. It’s not the end of the world when you go broke. You won’t die. Many did not die from it. So don’t panick. In fact, try it!
50. Having talent and potential means nothing at all without hard work and execution.
51. Being vain and narcissistic ensures you always look good and that’s not a bad thing at all. You’ll be surprised how many people out there, after reaching a certain age simply let go and start looking like a fat, tired piece of shit.
52. When people start to question why you have so many sleeping partners or dates, you’re doing something right.
53. Don’t use words like sapiosexual. You’d only come across as pretentious.
54. Bald is a choice. Balding isn’t.
55. Hold that grudge until you get the apology you deserve.
56. We’re all going to die. We’re all going to the same end. You might as well do whatever it is you want.
57. Age may be just a number, but that doesn’t mean you should act like an irresponsible shithead. So, act your age at times please.
58. It should come as no shock to you when you find out your friend is cheating on someone. The whole fucking world is into infidelity it seems. Hence, don’t condemn your friends who fuck up. Be there for them. Yet of course, don’t give in to this bullshit. Stay loyal.
59. Anger management does not work.
60. Ask somebody out who is out of your league at least once in your life.
61. Hold yourself accountable by treating every reason you have as an excuse instead.
62. Inspiration does not last. Don’t look for inspiration thinking it has to be one huge thing. Keep getting yourself inspired with the little things in life. They’re everywhere and it’s free.
63. Stop advocating the greatness of meditation. Just shut up and do it yourself already.
64. Don’t date somebody who is messy as hell.
65. Some may call this wasteful, but apparently if you throw in toilet paper in the toilet first, it will prevent water from splashing up to your butthole when you take that huge dump.
66. Drink so much water that you’ve to pee every twenty minutes. I do that. I’ve tons of energy usually.
67. Treat every embarrassing mistake you make as an amazing story to tell later on.
68. Push yourself to read books for the aim of becoming a more confident person in society. Yes, it works that way.
69. It’s okay to let her pay for her share.
70. Unless you know her extremely well such that you’re sure want to be in a relationship with her, treat her as though she’s seeing many other guys you don’t know of. Don’t flatter yourself. This will save you a lot of heartache when things take an unexpected turn for the worse, like you know, she saying she still loves her ex or some shit. It’s usually mostly an excuse though.
71. Every girl, no matter who would at some point want to show the guy that she’s not easily won over. The only kind of girl who openly shows they’re easy are prostitutes.
72. To guys: anger, violence, shouting loudly and other reckless shenanigans do not reflect your masculinity in any way. You should not be proud of that. Work on mastering your emotions.
73. Profanities are less vulgar than people who use big words.
74. Memories are essentially useless in a relationship. Be with somebody who is actively putting in the effort to create a future with you, not because the past was once worth something.
75. Fuck home remedies, just see a doctor already.
76. Have an argument on social media once so you can see how dumb and pointless it really is.
77. When a girl asks you, “Which is nicer?” – shoes, bags, tops, whatever-, the answer doesn’t fucking matter!
78. People generally like to talk about themselves, so if you want to create an impression, let them blabber on about their life and other crap.
79. Go ahead and date someone who’s way younger than you. It doesn’t matter. Why? Because dating somebody your age or older does not guarantee that they’re automatically mature. In fact, it’s way more bizarre when they don’t act their age.
80. A slap to the face is more humiliating than a punch. Hell man, don’t even take a playful slap to the face even though it could be a joke. Don’t ever put up with that shit.
81. Take it easy, because nobody knows what they’re actually doing.
82. Whoever thinks online dating or dating apps are lame are lame themselves. Go ahead and use it already, if anything for the cheap thrills!
83. Read fiction to learn more about yourself.
84. Sometimes you’ve to give up. You need to know when to quit.
85. When you’re offended by say, an online comment, it means you’re attaching a piece of your identity to that online comment. The question is not how to superficially deal with the comment, review or thing itself, but what is missing in your life that you’ve to attach yourself to things. Credit goes to Tucker Max for this brilliant insight.
86. When you ask some pompous jackass to show you a miracle and they answer something like, “Life itself is a miracle”, you should stop being their friend immediately.
87. Don’t get a car. It’s a liability.
88. Cancel that. There is another guarantee in life: Things are always guaranteed to go wrong. So destroy all your expectations.
89. Only little kids call each other “bro” and think it means something. Real men grow up and take responsibility for all their actions.
90. You don’t need to issue a “death sentence” on everybody everytime you’ve been wronged. If you feel like you can let it go, just let it go. You’re strong that way.
91. Assholes do not apologize. Don’t ever bother seeking closure with them.
92. Stop with the introvert, extrovert war already. Everybody needs their own time and space alone and, or with people! Don’t deny it you bitch.
93. If there’s one person you hate at a party, don’t show up. Trust me, it’s not worth it.
94. I’m not going to write anything relevant here, but that shouldn’t piss you off or ruin your day ok?
95. “… you can fail at something you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance doing what you love.” – Jim Carrey. That’s right. You can fail at being another sheep. How sad is that?
96. Your end-goal, vision or dream is not the goal. The work IS the goal. You’ve to show up and do it everyday. Thanks to Ryan Holiday for teaching this to me.
97. Although, when life gets too overwhelming, sometimes you’ve to drop it all and take a break in order to progress. Go on hiatus. Go on sabbatical. Take time out for yourself. Remember your WHY so you’ll never be disillusioned by the bigger picture.
98. Your thoughts are your reality. Perception is everything.
99. Stop reading the news. Period. Your entire day will be better when you discover you can be happy without being riled up by some disturbing headline.
100. Lists like this should not dictate your life. If you let it run your life you need to get a life.
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